


My Angel, J

by pinaywriter



Category: SHINee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 14:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 46,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14696148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinaywriter/pseuds/pinaywriter
Summary: He asked God if it was possible to come back and greet all his friends, people whom he left behind and to see how they were.Ten years after he left, God granted him wings.And Jonghyun comes home.





	1. Chapter 1

**Wishing For Wings**

"Hey J. The Almighty is looking for you." a pink-winged cherub popped up from the cloud next to where he was sitting. It's only been a few years since he managed to get that much free time. He's been learning a lot while he was up here. And his "training" has been harder than some but very fulfilling. He had to let some of the darkness from his soul. 

 

Unlike what he's been taught, in Heaven you are granted passage even if you think you don't deserve to go there. That's the first thing he learned when he got there. That God's mercy and love was that huge that it doesn't matter what you did on earth. If you believe in God or not, you get in. Just as long as you have loved and loved well while you were on earth. If you didn't, then asking for forgiveness is the key. He smiled thinking that he was so worried about it when he was still down there that it ate him up. 

But coming here was like coming home to a home you never thought you had. Like a vacation that never stops being interesting. He's talked to so many musicians, believers and scholars up here that he feels like eternity would not be enough to learn everything they can share to him. 

He did hear about something unbelievable, he could come home and see his family and friends until he gets his next chance to be reborn. But he had to apply to be a messenger if he wanted to do that. "You need to earn wings." one of the scholars told him. He asked why that scholar never tried to get wings. To which the scholar said, "I've been dead for centuries. Who would I visit? Going back would just tempt me to stay. I am too wordly a soul not to beg to be allowed to stay. That's how angels fall." Jonghyun looked confused. "They are souls that became angels who chose to stay on earth, refusing to come back. They stay and wander. Some get to come back but only through a painful mission."

"What painful mission?" Jonghyun asked. 

"You, of all souls, would not want to hear about that mission. So just leave it for now." Although he was really curious, Jonghyun figured the scholar would tell him within eternity what he was talking about. 

"So how do I ask for wings?" The scholar shook his head. 

"You are granted wings if the Almighty believes you are fit to be sent back to be a messenger. But if you can't get rid of the darkness in your soul, you can't go back. It's like sending a soldier to war without the right kind of armor. And the world, as you very well know, chips at a soul faster than a soul can hope to heal on their own." 

"How can I be granted wings?" He asked again. 

"Each prayer that is given to you by any human on earth, becomes a feather in that wing. But the wings of an angel is made of light. So those tiny bits of light come from the heart of the people who will be praying for you. If enough of them are put together, a pair of wings will come to be and will be granted to you by Him who grants all prayers." 

"Wow. That might take a while." 

"Sure does. People don't know about this either. They just think prayers are for wishing for things for themselves. And sometimes they pray for the dead to go to Heaven. They don't know that we can always come here as long as our soul is granted passage. And those with darkness in their soul, they can't come in not because they are not welcome but because the darkness in their soul is pulling them down."

"What about the darkness you said I have in my soul?"

"Yours was borne out of pain of living. But prayers heal those too." The scholar looks at Jonghyun. "Soon all of it will be cleansed away by those prayers. I heard you touched many lives when you were alive. That should help."

Jonghyun smiled. He remembered his 40 days journey. It was both eye-opening and healing. He felt so much energy come to him from people gathering to pray for him that it was sad that he was no longer among them to dry their tears.

"So these messenger missions, are they hard?"

"Nothing is easy even after you reach eternity. Some souls get bored. They ask to be born again. Others like you, want to visit but need wings. Others just want to stay here and wait for their soul to be called back to live again amongst humans. But souls like me, we don't get reborn." Jonghyun wondered about that. 

"Why are some souls not reborn?" It didn't seem fair for them not to have that chance. 

"It's because we are all given a mission when we are created. Some souls live through the missions that they are asked to do on earth. In my case, I was tasked with bringing some truths in the world. And I was meant to be a teacher of men who would teach other men who would teach other men who would continue to teach the truths I shared. And I completed that mission in one lifetime. So I can retire here for all eternity."

"That's pretty cool."

The scholar laughed. "Being here is also part of the mission. I am one of the many souls who can school other souls like you. Your mission is not yet complete. So you have to come back, someday." Jonghyun felt excitement. 

"Do I get to sing when I come back?" the scholar expected that question.

"If the Earth you return to still needs music then yes." The scholar mused. 

"How can humans stop needing music?" Jonghyun was suddenly worried that music might not be around when he gets called back. 

"Well during my time they read the stars instead of text messages. So who can predict what truths the Lord would allow humans to gain?"

"Maybe I should just work on getting reborn." Jonghyun was on the fence now. 

"If you are reborn, you lose all your memories for a brief period. For a lifetime, at least. Very few get to keep their memories since that can interfere with how they live their lives. If their mission requires that, they can keep some of their memories, the lingering ties of love they had in their past life. But for the most part, people who failed their mission the first time, they get a clean slate."

Jonghyun didn't want to forget his brothers, family and friends just yet. He looks out at them whenever he can. It's just visiting them in dreams takes a lot of effort. And the feelings that the people get after dreaming of him is out of his control. He didn't want to see them cry so he visited only when it was necessary. 

 

"Your wings are ready." Jonghyun was surprised when he heard the holy news. 

"Thank you so much!" He was excited to be granted wings. "But doesn't this come with a fine print or something?"

He heard a bellowing laugh that filled him with a gleeful light. "You are a funny one, Jonghyun." 

"You made me this way." He smirked and did a V sign at God. 

"That I did." The light that was in front of him wasn't blinding. But Jonghyun was happy to be in His holy presence. "Your mission is to send messages to certain people whose hearts have gone cold, astray or lost. You have to return them into my loving arms. Do you think you can do that?" 

"Your wish is my command." He bowed. 

"You will be granted not just wings but a guide. You will see things and feel the human condition even more than they can. As a soul whose darkness have been eased by prayers you will encourage more to do the same. I warn you of one thing, Jonghyun."

"What is that, my Lord?"

"Free will is something a human has but an angel does not. You will find that this gift I gave to mankind, can...lead to complications in completing your mission." Jonghyun nodded. He knew more than any soul there how free will can turn one into the wrong path. 

"I am not going to be a grim reaper right? Coz I actually prefer light-colored clothes this time around." Once again the Lord laughed. 

"You shall do all tasks that I will give to you, my angel J."

"So I can't use my name?"

"If a human learns of your name, then you have to grant them one divine intervention. So be careful not to give your name to anyone who would use that intervention for ill causes." 

"So how do I know who I am supposed to send messages to?" 

"Your guide will tell you." Jonghyun bowed in gratitude and then he felt something pierce his back. When he looked back two wide wings were coming out of his robes. They were so big that they touched the clouds he was standing on. 

The knowledge that prayers made these massive wings made him unbelivably grateful. "I will use them well, my Lord. Thank you."

"No need to thank me. Thank your Shawols for your wings. I grant wings, I do not make them. May your wings take you on a safe trip." The clouds opened up from under his feet and Jonghyun started to fall. 

"I need to test them fiirrrrrrsssssssssssssst!!!" He landed on the ground faster than he could flap his wings once. 

"Thank God pain isn't an angel thing." Even though he didn't feel any pain Jonghyun still rubbed his butt. 

"Well, that depends on you Angel J." he turned around and saw a young person with hot pink hair.

"Are you my guide?" he asked. 

"Yep."

"Are you an angel too?"

"Nope."

"Are you a ghost?"

"Nope."

"What are you?" 

"I am a restless*." 

"What's a restless?"

"I'll tell you later." She touched his wings and they disappeared. "Let's tap that out and get you changed. Some humans can see angels in their true form so your outfit stands out too much." She walked into a shop that looked like a cat cafe but when they got inside it was a big warehouse of what looked like all the clothes that ever existed. 

"Let's chose something more 2028." 

"Wait. Did you just say 20-28?" 

"Yep. It's been ten years since you passed away. Don't expect things to be the same."

"Do we have flying cars now?"

"Why is it modern angels, having already been granted wings, ask the same silly question?" 

"Well, flying cars are cool."

"So is this." The restless gave him a leather jacket and denims jeans. 

"Those do not match." Jonghyun shook his head and proceeded to choose an outfit. 

"Great, another fashionista."

"What's your name, by the way?"

"Just call me S. I can't give you my name. You know you can't just give your name to anyone right. Human or not." S was very adamant in reminding him. 

Jonghyun nodded. He put on the clothes he picked out and folded the robes he came in. "Why is it a bad thing?"

"Because humans can't differentiate between miracles and wish-granting." S waved her hand and Jonghyun's hair went from black to blonde. "Much better." 

"So what's my mission?" 

"You need to save a life." S took his hand and walked him out of the place. "But first. I need to eat." 

"Do angels eat?" Jonghyun asked. 

"Nope all. But restless do. I can't guide you if I can't eat." 

They walked into a funeral home and saw many people there. Jonghyun didn't feel all that comfortable being there. What do the restless eat? He figured it would be food offerings there. But when S sat next to the woman bawling he realized they fed on sadness and despair.

S began to absorb the dark energy of sadness from the woman who was crying. It was like a wispy smoke coming out of the woman's body. 

"That's disturbing." He told S. 

"Girl's gotta eat. What can you do?"

"Now Angel J, let's go visit IU."

"IU?"

 

=====

I hope you like this chapter. Let me know.

P.S. I am Catholic so dogmas here might be variations of what I know.

But I am pretty interested in other belief systems.

This story won't be about religious truths or any of those properly considered myths.

I will choose those of which I would borrow thoughts from to fit my story.

So I hope nobody gets offended or confused if it doesn't match conventional knowledge.

The things that I make up will just be explaned in the footnote part. 

*Restless (noun) : an earth-bound angel that feeds on sadness, despair and negative human emotions.

They often guide new Angels on their first mission. They are guardian angels of angels.


	2. A Nightingale in a Gilded Cage

"If we are going to IU, that would mean she's 35 now, right?" Jonghyun was smiling and wondered if his friend still looked the same. 

"She lives there." S pointed at the top of a hotel and Jonghyun was confused. 

"Doesn't Ji Eun live in her own apartment?" At the very least that was the case ten years ago. 

"It's been a while. She's gone up in the world. Literally." Jonghyun was impressed with the hotel they entered. It was named LOEN Grand Hotel. He figured her company expanded to hotels after a while. It looked very polished and not at all the style of place that IU would want to live in. 

The IU he remembered was down to earth and loved nature. So her living in a hotel on purpose, not because of being on tour or working, was confusing to say the least. "She must be here because she has a lot of work to do."

"Wrong. Let's go up." S entered the elevator. 

"If I have wings and you can walk through walls. Why are we talking the elevator?" Jonghyun teased S but the latter just kept quiet. 

Two people walked into the elevator right behind them. Jonghyun leaned on the right wall and S just stayed beside him. 

"I can't believe she just fired another manager. What is she thinking? That we train them just so they can beat them down. It's half her current work budget to pay off those people she fired. Aish." Jonghyun shook his head. Must be a VIP diva checked in the hotel. It wasn't that unusual, back in the day people were much more entitled. 

"She should just stop singing and get cracking on making a son or something. She's just stalling because she thinks she is still popular."

"LOEN keeps her number one. And her fans are incredible. They've been getting her awards every time." the man shook his head, "But she wouldn't have stayed around if not for her marriage. Poor woman, she didn't know she married probably the most promiscous guy in South Korea." 

"Are you on her side now? I thought the same way. But if you were the one who had to clean up the mess she's been doing in the past half a decade, you would be singing a different tune." Whoever it was those two guys were talking about, Jonghyun pitied her. A loveless marriage, double standards and a fading career are just really horrible things.  _Guess some things never chance around here._  

"It actually got worse over time." S spoke out. The other two guys didn't seem to hear her though. They continued to talk in earnest. 

"There is a rumor that she kept getting an abortion."

"Really? That's horrible. How could she even think about doing that? That kid would probably live like a prince once he is born. He'll be loaded from day 1." Jonghyun rolled his eyes.  _What's the point of being rich if your family is as messed up as that?_

"We heard she doesn't really get pregnant easily and kept getting miscarriages or something." 

"Well, there is another rumor why she kept loosing the babies." the other man looked very curious. 

"Why is that?"

"The LOEN heir is a crazy guy. He cheats on her and hits her whenever she tries to offer him a divorce. Apparently if that woman divorces the son of the Chairman, he gets nothing when the old man crokes. So he can't let her leave him. So she's practically a prisoner up here." 

Jonghyun clenched his teeth and wanted to punch something. That was something new. He didn't know angels could feel anger. "What have they been doing?" He wondered why their friends let this happen to Ji Eun in the first place. 

"Well, he kept her in a pretty awesome prison, if you ask me." Jonghyun wanted to grab on to something  he could use to hit the idiot who said that. Another new thing, angels can feel murderous.  _Interesting._

The elevator finally reached the Penthouse and all four of them got out of the it. S and Jonghyun walked through the wall and ended up in a lavish living room. IU walked into the living room with a backpack, wearing casual clothes. She looked around anxiously and was about to walk out when a man came out of another room screaming. 

"Come back here, you!" IU froze when she heard him bellow. 

"I'm just going out...for a bit. I'll come back in an hour."

"Who the fuck would believe anything you say at this point?" the man looked drunk but decked in an expensive looking suit. "Are you meeting that ugly fart looking ex-idol Hyuk-jae?" 

IU faced him and sighed. "I am meeting up with Suzy, okay? Just for an hour, please?"

"What are you going to do out anyway?"

"We are going to go to a nail spa then come back here and hang out." IU looked like she was begging him. The man approached her and tried to touch her face. Jonghyun saw IU's small twitch to move away from his reach. It was a visible sign of abuse. S had to pull Jonghyun back from trying to attack the guy. 

"I don't want you hanging out with that woman anymore."

"Why? She is my only remaining friend at this point."

"What do you need friends for, you have me."

"When? When do I have you?" IU burst in tears. "You are never home. I can't go out if you are not here. I only come out if I am working. And even that is very rare." 

"Some being so melodramatic."

"I'm still going." Jonghyun smiled. That's the Ji Eun he knew. She was still there.

"Don't force me to do something that will keep you here." the man's voice was laced with malice. 

"I'm still going!" Before IU could get her hands on the doorknob the man had already pulled her by her hair. Her small body slammed on the wooden flooring of the suite and he dragged her across the living room into the room he came out of. 

Jonghyun felt his wings pop out in his surprise. S even shrieked. He flew into the room and saw IU's husband pull her up into the bed and slap her relentlessly. 

S pulled him back but Jonghyun struggled to get to the guy. "You can't do anything."

"What are you talking about? You bastard get off of her! Get off of her!!!" Jonghyun screamed and he felt his wings were loosing feathers. 

"If you keep this up, you have to go back before finishing this mission." S shouted at him while still hugging him from behind, keeping him in place. The tiny restless rooted them where she stood and it was driving Jonghyun crazy. 

"You are a messenger. You are not a guardian. Messengers do not interfere."

"Let.Me.Go. Ji eun-ah. S save her please. Save her. Oh my god. You bastard!" Jonghyun's screams could not be heard. But IU's cries pierced through the room. 

"Let's see you try to leave with that face now. Nail spa my foot."

IU was curled up in her bed, sobbing. Her husband slammed the door when he got out and Jonghyun heard a lock click at the door. IU screamed in agony and frustration. 

"Ji Eun-ah!" S finally let Jonghyun go. He flew to her side and held her curled up body. "I'm sorry I am lacking. Even as I am, I am lacking." He cried along with her. 

"We have to go." S pulled him by his wings. S's wings came out. They were a combination of dark and white feathers. Jonghyun has never seen this anywhere in the angel images in his lifetime. 

"Let's go." 

=========

 


	3. Message for a Super Sunbae

Jonghyun stared at the city below him. S had taken them to the top of a skyskraper. 

"Scream. He'll hear you. But he won't answer."

"Then what's the point?" Jonghyun snarled at her. 

"It keeps your wings from turning black." S touched some of the black feathers on her wings. 

"What happens when all the feathers turn into black?"

"You become a restless." S answered matter-of-factly. "Or you become a fallen angel. Depends." 

"Depends on what?"

"Depends on whether you are an idiot or not." For the nth time that day, Jonghyun felt like S was trolling him. 

"Are you my guide or are you supposed to make things more difficult for me?"

"You are in the mortal realm. Of course it's hard for you. You've been in the clouds for a while now. This is how I remind you that angel or human, this world has its limitations. And the same goes for you. You are not a god here. You are a messenger with a mission. And it isn't to punch a guy's face."

"It's to save a life. I know. But you said I can't interfere."

"Yep, physically no." S looked at him like was supposed to get something from that look. 

"What the heck are you talking about?"

"Great, another dullard." S made a sweeping move and all of a sudden Jonghyun saw Suzy in front of them, in a mirror like screen floating in the air. "You need to send her a message about Ji Eun. Before it is too late."

"Why wouldn't Suzy know about what is going on with IU? Why would she keep it a secret from Suzy?"

"Because the last time she told someone, that person and his entire group of friends lost their jobs."

"What?" S made another sweeping move and saw articles of Super Junior's SJ Label going independent. Then an article came out that showed a Dispatch article about Ji Eun and Hyuk-jae embracing. 

IU cheated on her husband?

"Your friend is not as smart at you thought she was. Her husband did it several times. But when she did it, or so they said she did, she got caught. Her husband played the nice guy card and forgave her but the truth was, he undermined all the investors for SJ Label and they pulled out because of LOEN's pressure on their other businesses. So the guys had to go back to SME and work in various capacities for training talent. All of them except Hyuk-jae that is. He just focused on his family's cafe and is a non-celebrity now." 

"What message am I supposed to get to Suzy? And how am I supposed to do that?"

"How did you send messages to humans since you got up there?" S asked him. 

Jonghyun's face lit up. "Dreams. Great. Now we have to wait for her to sleep."

"Unfortunately, Suzy has a drama that she is shooting and so she would be going to her schedule after this. I am afraid she would be up all night shooting."

"Darn this talented girl." Jonghyun wiped his face with both hands. 

"Lesson number two, waiting is sometimes all that we can do."

"How is this different from being a human? It's so limiting."

"If an angel could do whatever they wanted, with our unlimited potential, this world would be thrown into chaos again."

"What do you mean again?"

"Just an expression, nosy face." S let out her tongue and Jonghyun flew towards her. 

"If you weren't my guide, I would have left you already."

"Oppa, don't say that." S smirked at him. Jonghyun sighed then looked at the sky. 

He was worried about IU and S picked up on that. She waved her hand and showed him that she was already in front of her vanity and was tending to her wounds. She was wiping the tears falling down her face. And Jonghyun had to look away. 

"We have to save her now. Let's go somewhere first." 

==

Jonghyun looked through the glass into the cafe that Hyuk-jae was in. "What is this idiot doing in there while his girlfriend is being banged around by that monster?" 

"Well, you weren't here anymore. People got crazy busy and they broke up. Then she met that other guy through her company and he took really good care of her. Or so she thought." 

"Why do I have a feeling that you are leaving out important things."

"Everyone has their own secrets. They won't matter in this mission...he isn't the target."

"Yeah, I know. He's the arrow." S looked at him as if he wasn't making any sense. 

"What are you planning to do?"

"Do me a favor. Tell Suzy to post about her nail spa thing and I will handle the rest." 

"Don't need to do that. She already went ahead and did that." She showed him a smartphone and Suzy's sad face while getting her nails done had a caption "Missing You" #BestieNails #WhereAreYou 

"Good girl." Jonghyun touched the bluetooth speaker controller on the top of the display counter and IU's It's First Love started to play. Jonghyun smiled when he saw Hyuk-jae stop making the latte he was preparing. He closed his eyes for a bit then sighed. He went over to the controller and hit the next button. But then most of IU's songs came out. 

"Ahjushi, stop changing the song. You are making our heads hurt." a teenage girl called out at him. Hyuk-jae shook his head. Jonghyun laughed while S shook her head too. 

"I bet he can't get over the fact that a kid just called him an old man and dissed him." Super Junior was a legend in the industry. But it's been ten years. Those kids probably weren't even ideas in their parents' minds when Suju came out. 

"Kids these days are scary." So the first stong played on again, much to Hyuk-jae's annoyance. Jonghyun could see that his friend was physically not able to be in the same room as IU's voice. It was both promising and very sad to see. 

"How much does he still love her that he can't even be around her voice?" S shrugged her shoulders at Jonghyun's rhetorical question. 

Hyuk-jae went out of the cafe, apron and all, then walked away with no particular destination. 

"Where is this guy going?" 

He kept walking and finally S got tired and started to float over the guy. Jonghyun just kept in stride with him, talking as if he could still be heard by his friend. "Why the heck did you let such a precious person go? If you were busy, you should have made time. You are crazy about her. Judging from the fact that you haven't married yet. Don't deny it, I see no ring, you pabo. Aigoo. So what were you planning to do, wait for her to divorce him? You ninny. Because you are so passive all the time, you lost her and both of your chances to be happy. Now you're miserable and she is in marriage that is killing her. Why don't you just go and grab her and just ruin your lives together, run off to another country and just love each other!" Jonghyun was so angry that he looked up into the sky. "Why are people such idiots?" 

"Ya. Stop shouting." Jonghyun tripped on his own right foot when he heard Hyuk-jae talk back to him. 

"You- you can see me?"

"Nope. But I can hear you my blingbling-dongsaeng," Jonghyun was astonished. 

S landed abruptly when she realized that Jonghyun was talking to Hyuk-jae. "Is he talking to you right now?"

"I can hear you too." S gasped. "Who is the girl you are with, Jonghyun-ah?"

"Hyung, it's J now. Stop saying my full name."

"Araso. J, long time no...hear." Hyuk-jae smiled at thin air. 

"I am on your right side, hyung." Jonghyun laughed. 

"Told you I can't see you." Hyuk-jae put on his earphones and pretended to be on the phone with someone. 

"Can you really hear me?"

"Did I ever lie to you? Why are you doubting me now?" Hyuk-jae smiled. 

"I never thought you could do this, even before...you never told me." Jonghyun felt bad that he didn't know. 

"It got worse after you left. I talked to someone about how to develop it. I thought I could hear you and talk to you if you were still around. But I never got a chance to use it much. I usually tune others out. Don't want to get tangled up with lost souls and stuff like that. Wait. You're not a wandering demon-like spirit, are you?"

"Nope. Hyung, I'm an angel now." Jonghyun was so proud that Hyuk-jae laughed. 

"Brat, you have always been one. Even when you were still around."

"I don't think angels drank as much as I did back then." Jonghyun was glad to hear him laughing. "Hyung, you got so old."

"Ya. You come back here to call your hyung old? Wait till you see Jeong-su. He is hella old. I'm just 42. Old man is 45." Jonghyun couldn't imagine Super Junior being that old. 

"How are they doing?"

"Mostly married and babysitting when they aren't making something for the new SME groups. Shindong is a big time choreographer now and the others are acting, producing and all that. Among them they have enough kids to complete an actual 15-group Super Junior 2.0." Jonghyun smiled. He was glad that his hyungs were doing so well. 

"How about you?"

"If you date someone like Ji Eun...you never get over someone like that." Hyukjae hung his head low. 

"So why did you let her go?"

"I thought giving her time to do everything she wanted was the answer. I thought we would make it even after time passed. I didn't know that being just friends would end up like this. Almost ten years of being alone and miserable." 

Jonghyun wanted to ask if he knew about IU's husband. "Hyung. Do you think she's happy now?"

"Being with that arse, no. But I can't do anything. I have multiple restraining orders now. I can't even go anywhere near LOEN hotel without getting caught by the police. If I come anywhere near her, my friends..." Hyuk-jae's voice trailed off. He cleared his throat. "You're the divine entity here, you should know what's going on with her more than I would."

"Hyung. I was just from there. I saw her husband beat the crap out of her. And just because she wanted to go out with Suzy to get their nails done." Hyuk-jae stopped walking, turned around abruptly and ran towards the cafe. He pressed speed dial 5 on his phone and started talking fast. 

"Donghae. Call everyone. It's an emergency. We need to go get Ji Eun."

=+=

Jonghyun looked around the table and he was astonished of how mature everyone looked. Kyuhyun finally started looking like his age. Henry got a bit fluffy but still had his charming smile. But no one was smiling when they arrived. 

"Where's Shindong?" Hyuk-jae asked. Yesung turned the tablet towards Hyuk-jae. Shindong's sleepy face was on the screen.

Hangeng and Zhou Mi popped in the Skype call too. "You guys know what time it is in New York right now right?" Hangeng complained.

Heechul greeted him, "Hey old man. Ssup?"

Kangin still had his baby carrier strapped on him. "This better be good since my wife is going to slice me up good later if it isn't."

"Jonghyun is here." Siwon was the first one to stand up. 

"I am going back to work. You need to get laid." Donghae stood up as well. 

"Jonghyun said that IU was beaten up by her husband just this morning because he didn't want her to go out to go to the nail spa with Suzy." Hyuk-jae blurted out. 

Ryeowook gasped. "So that is why Suzy posted about her missing their date?" 

Sungmin's face was bright red. "That fucking bastard." He dialled someone's number and started yelling as soon as he got someone on the other line. "I need that LOEN bastards location right now." 

"Hyung calm down."  Kibum helped Sungmin sit back down. "We can't just go in hot like before." 

"We can report it. But how are we going to explain to the police how you know about this, Hyuk-ah?" Leeteuk asked Hyuk-jae. 

"Jonghyun told me." Jonghyun saw the infamous Heechul forehead slap. 

"You dick, how are we going to convince the police that a so-called humanitarian awardee CEO is actually beating the crap out of his wife without actual evidence?" Heechul was pissed off both because he couldn't do anything and because he wanted to do something. 

"We need access to her. Right now." Hyuk-jae was very worried. All that time he thought that they were getting along just fine. The last time he talked to IU was when she told him that her husband slapped her after he found out that she went out to eat with some friends and happened to bump into him. Then the Dispatch scandal broke out. He couldn't reach her anymore and all lines of communication were cut off. There was even a restraining order issued saying tha the was stalking a married woman so he couldn't come to any of her shows, events or concerts. 

"Does anyone know her number?"

"She changed it again last month. So I don't think so."

"Suzy...she should have it. Call her." 

"So how are we going to even get her out of there?" 

"I don't know. Just call Suzy. First one to get her on the phone, give it to me." 

Everyone started dialing. Even the ones who were on Skype called through their phones. 

"Hi, Suze. It's Donghae. Yeah. Ah. Well. I have to tell you something. Wait. I will put Hyukjae on." 

"Suzy, we need your help."

"I am not helping you get into the hotel. Her husband was very hurt the last time. I won't do it." 

"Listen. I am not asking you to help me get there. I don't need to go there but you do. Because your best friend has a bruised face that she can't hide if you go there right now."  

"Look, Eunhyuk. I get it. It's hard to get over Ji Eun. But I am not about to postpone a whole day of work just so you can feed off the news I can get from her about her life. Just get one for yourself. A wife and a life." Suzy cut the call the rest of the guys tried to call her again. 

"She's not answering. God, does she really not know?" Ryeowook was distressed. 

 

Jonghyun sat next to Leeteuk and leaned his head on his hyung's shoulder. He missed him. Leeteuk was still trying to call Suzy to no avail. 

"I wish someone could see me. Only Eunhyuk can hear me. It's not fair. How am I going to see my family if they can't even see me with their human eyes? Hyung's shoulder is so warm."

"Ya, Jonghyun. Stop doing whatever with Leeteuk-hyung's shoulder and just freaking do something about Suzy." Leeteuk sat up when Hyukjae mentioned what he was doing. 

"Jonghyun-ah. Please go save Ji Eun." Leeteuk begged him. 

"He can't. But we can. Just keep calling."

Kangin got through this time. "Hi. Suzy. It's Young-woon oppa. Don't end the call or so help me I will call your boss." Kangin's threat seemed to work. "Look. We all think Eunhyuk is off his meds. BUT! It wouldn't hurt anyone if you just go and check up on her. It shouldn't take you more than an hour out of your way. Hm? Please?"

"Fine. I will go see her before I go to the studio. You owe me, okay?"

S moved next to Jonghyun. "Mission clear. Let's go get Ji Eun." 

Jonghyun went to Hyukjae's side. "Don't worry. We'll guide Suzy. Keep in touch with her." he patted Hyukjae's shoulder. "Tell the other hyungs that heaven is pretty awesome. And that they should make sure to love their families." 

"I will." 

"And that it's not their fault I couldn't stay."

"I will." Hyukjae started crying that made the other guys worried. 

"Are you really not trolling us about this?" Kyuhyun asked. 

"Jonghyun said to tell you that heaven is pretty awesome. And that you should love your families. And..that it wasn't our fault that he couldn't stay."

Every SuJu member that heard that wiped their tears. Leeteuk did so noisily. 

"Hyung, you are the ugliest crier ever to exist in the history of ELFsdom." Yesung earned a throw pillow in the face for his remark. 

"God, I missed you guys." 

"Don't worry. We plan to have a babysitting session at your cafe next time. So stay tuned for that." 

"Ya. You should just ask me to run a daycare rather than make me do that."

"Why haven't you?" Kangin asked. "That would be super helpful for us, you brat."

"Because I don't have any of my own. So I don't want to take care of a bunch of kids of other people!" 

"You might if we get Ji Eun out." Kangin raised his eyebrow at Hyukjae.

"I'll tell my mom to get an architect to design something like that. We do have two empty floors in our current building." 

"Who would have thought that out of all of us, this brat would be the one buying up stuff and putting stores and franchises in them?"

"I just thought he would retire with us and then live off of Ji Eun's royalties." 

Jonghyun could still hear their conversation even if he was flying to where Suzy was. S and him were flying over where they could see Suzy's car going towards LOEN Hotel. 

"Those dorky hyungs are just gold. It's good to see they're still there for each other even if they can't always be together." 

"Some love can't be broken even by the most controlling and vile person in the world. Because love makes us more resilient."

"I just hope that Suzy is that strong." 

"Girl has more spunk than you think. Just you wait." 


	4. AmaSuzy and a New Paradise

Suzy was frantic. "Those pabo SuJu hyungs better be freaking wrong. Or so help me God I will krav maga Min Yeong-suk." Suzy had thought IU's husband was just the really jealous type. But if he's been hurting her friend all this time under her watch, she would never forgive him or herself. 

"She's pretty fiesty." Jonghyun laughed. 

"Wait till you see her later." S smirked. Jonghyun realized then that S liked strong people. Even if it meant they were a bit odd.

==

When Suzy arrived at LOEN hotel, she booked a room first so that no one would kick her out randombly for going up to the penthouse. Since she's the madam's close friend and an A-list singer-actress, she didn't mind getting VVIP treatment since she was pressed for time. 

She didn't even call Ji Eun. She just rang her doorbell and prayed to God that she was alone in that suite. 

==

Ji Eun was panic striken. She was by herself in the suite and there was no way she was going to let anyone see her in her current state. She even refused to allow the turn over service because of her face. If the suite needed cleaning, she could do it since obviously she wasn't going anywhere for a few days. 

The chimes of the insistent doorbell pressing was getting to her nerves. She looked out the keyhole and saw Suzy outside. 

What am I going to do now? 

She didn't want to talk to Suzy right now. If she found out about her, Yeongsuk would pay her off or threated her to stay away and Ji Eun would be helplessly and completely alone. 

"Ya, Ji Eun! If you don't open up, I swear to all that is good and holy I will post about you missing and in danger and have all your fans come to this hotel to come and break down this door!" If Lee Minho, matinee idol and all around macho man couldn't curb her friend, Ji Eun was sure Suzy would do exactly what she said. 

She opened the door and Suzy grabbed her in an embrace. She started sobbing while Suzy was hugging her. "Pack your things. We are leaving. Right now." 

IU took her green backpack with her and left everything else. She had her passport and other IDs in their. She could always get any other document elsewhere. She wasn't going to stay there a day longer. Damn LOEN and Min Yeongsuk to hell. 

=+=

IU could feel that Suzy wanted to ask about a million questions. But all Suzy did was book them two tickets to the Philippines and call her manager that she can't go to the shoot that day. 

"Why are we going to the Philippines. Can't we just stay here?"

"Here is South Korea. Here is where your bastard husband has the most power. In the Philippines there are at least 3 major groups of islands and at least three friends who are totally not connected to you that have vacation houses." Suzy thought of Sandara Park first. She was Queen of the Philippines after all. She's been in the Philippines since she married a Chinese-Filipino businessman. It wouldn't hurt to hide IU with someone who at least can afford excellent security. 

"I already called Dara."

IU hugged Suzy again. Suzy just let her cry. Jonghyun was smiling at the bus seat behind the two women. No one would suspect that the two backpacking women are celebrities. They've wore tribal face masks and were carrying very little luggage. 

"Is escaping the real way to get this problem solved?" Jonghyun asked S. 

"Your mission is to save a life, not to solve the social problem that is domestic violence." S explained to him. 

"But if God is so great, why would this kind of injustice keep happening. It's not any better than it was ten years ago. Spousal abuse is terrible and needs to be stopped. Can't He give a mission to all the angels to stop all of this kind of things."

"Why do you think we keep hoping more wings can be granted? New angels are on short supply. Three out of ten new angels become a restless, a fallen or a renegade. That's why the ban on souls were lifted." 

Jonghyun was confused. 

"Before it was harder to get up there. People's lives were weighed based on how much they've served their fellowman and showed God's love. But now we let souls in and cleanse them if need be. Then we hope they can gain wings so they can help us. Here on this realm so many fallen are living selfish existence amongst humans. They don't want to go back. It's more fun not having to do what God wills them to do. The renegade of course just totally lost their light and are working hard to undermine what angels like you and me are doing. I am a restless because I refused to fall from God's grace and I don't particularly like Lucifer's idea of what eternity would look like." Jonghyun was astonished that even heaven had an upgrade. 

"If we are all angels, why are they doing this?"

"Because they can. That's the thing. Most of the fallen and the renegade actually hate humans."

"Why?"

"Two words. Free will."

"I don't get it."

"For the fallen and the renegades it is unfair that God only gave humans free will. They figured that if they claim to have free will as well then they are able to give themselves what God deprived them. But our abilities with free will is like a lit match next to a keg of gunpowder. The initial explosion is strong and powerful. But after the dust settles, all that is left are ashes." 

"His Almighty did mention that Free Will is the main issue I would have to deal with when fulfilling my missions."

"Be careful not to grow a hankering for it. You are an angel now. You don't have that option."

"But you just said the fallen chose to have free will."

"What they have is an illusion of free will. Whatever they do has to be balanced out by either other angels or the suffering that humans experience. The fallen and the renegades refuse to acknowledge that. For them, their own so-called needs are more important than helping souls enter heaven without a trace of darkness from this world."

"Heaven is  a more complicated place than I thought."

"It isn't. At least it wasn't millenia ago." S sighed and just sat back. 

"Are we going to the Philippines with them?" Jonghyun wanted to see the tropical country. 

"Nope. We are going to your next mission."

"But I wanted to go see the ocean."

"Ocean later. Missions first." 

Jonghyun pouted. S dragged him up from the bus and they floated as the bus drove off to the airport.

"Beach. Sand. Blue water." Jonghyun wanted to go. But alas, not mean to be. 

Maybe another time, paradise. 


	5. Tired Souls Need Reprieve

Jungsu was coming out of the studio when he got the call from Suzy that they arrived in Manila. "Good. Take care of her for us. If you need anything just call me."

"Oppa, you should be taking care of yourself more than anyone else," to which Leeteuk laughed. "You are 45 and divorced. You should date again." 

He sighed when he heard that word again. As the only member of Super Junior to have ever gotten divorced, it was embarrassing. It was a big scandal five years ago when he got divorced and didn't want to tell anyone the reason why their couple decided to break up. 

Jonghyun hovered over his hyung and was shocked when he heard the word divorce. "Hyung got divorced? Who did he marry?"

"He married a pianist. She didn't really want to have kids so she told him she couldn't. He found out later that she was actually drinking pills to keep herself from getting pregnant. Oh and there as the cheating on him with a conductor." Jonghyun shook his head. "He's been single since he turned forty. Dude vowed off women. Calls his fans his girlfriends. Creepy."

"My hyung isn't creepy. He's just...lonely." 

"Eventhough there is a woman who is very very interested in him but he won't even look her way." Jonghyun was curious as to who that person was. 

"There she is." A woman was standing in front of a coffee truck and giving out coffee to some fans and staff members. 

"Good morning, oppa!" Jonghyun knew it's been ten years. But that voice was familiar to him no matter how many years it's been. It was Kim Yerim. She offered Leeteuk with a cup of coffee which the other person accepted but didn't even sip. 

"See you tomorrow!" Leeteuk waved at everyone and walked into his car. Jonghyun popped into his car's passenger seat and S was in the backseat. 

Jungsu put the coffee in the cup holder near his seat and ignored it. Jonghyun smelled the coffee and loved it. They arrived at Jungsu's house and the later didn't even open the lights when he walked into the living room. He took off his coat and crashed on the couch. Jonghyun looked into the bed room and saw that there was a very well-made bed that no one seemed to have slept on in days. When he sat on it, clouds of dust flew into the air. The brown sheets clouded the fact that the bed was actually abandoned. 

He went towards the kitchen and saw that it was clean but there was only cup noodles and food containers in the pantry and the refrigerator. Jungsu turned on the television via voice activation and ordered something. "Gakuman Chicken, half and half." Leeteuk took out a large instant cup noodle and poured hot water into it. 

"Why is he living like some dormer? He's probably loaded by now. And he still eats like he's trashing his body." Jonghyun was startled by the insistent knocking. 

"Coming!" Jungsu opened the door to a Heechul who was carrying a large plastic container. "Great timing. I needed some of those."

"Wife made a mountain of kimchi and ordered me to take some to you guys. My car smells like peppers. Argh." Heechul heaved then placed the container on top of the dining table. He noticed the cup noodles on it and raised his eyebrows at his hyung. 

"Ramen again. Are you kidding me?"

"Not everyone has a great wife making kimchi and all sorts of food." Jonghyun felt a sharp pang in his chest when he heard Leeteuk whisper that to himself. 

"Stay here, I am calling for reinforcements." 

"Everyone, bring your best side dish and go to the grocery with me. Leeteuk is eating his 100th ramen of the month." Jonghyun knew it was an exaggeration but some things about Heechul doesn't really change. 

"You don't have to do that, I can take care of myself."

Heechul took out a garbage bag and stuffed all the instant food in it. He left the instant rice and the beer. But he sneered at his hyung. "If you ever do even a single ramen cf, I am going to sue that company for endangering your health."

After living on his own for the past five years, Leeteuk has only come home to sleep in the convertible sofa and eating what he could get cooked in under three minutes. He covers up the lack of nutrients with vitamins and supplements. But Heechul wasn't convinced that he was living at all. He's been working himself to the bone to be able to sleep enough so he can get up again to work. He was bright and bubbly on camera but increasingly quiet off camera. He was still nice to everyone he worked with but he tried not to get close to too many people who might get hurt if they get associated with him. He was after all the Bachelor Junior, referring to his status and the fact that he was an active singer under Super Junior's brand. 

"People don't live like this, hyung." Heechul sighed, tying the garbage bag. 

"You are in the minority more that you think." Leeteuk sat on the couch with a small plate of kimchi and his now cooked ramen.

Kangin who lived nearby arrived in ten minutes. He had the Gakuman chicken that Leeteuk ordered. "Some shifty looking fellow left your chicken." 

"Manduki is not a shifty fellow."

"The fact that you are on first name basis with the neighborhood delivery guys is scary." Kangin put the chicken down in the living room table and headed to the refrigerator to unload the containers from a large ecobag. 

"You guys know I can cook and buy those things too, right?" Leeteuk complained  but Jonghyun saw in his eyes that he was about to cry. "I am a grown ass man. I can fend for myself."

"That's not what Yeri is telling me." Heechul made Leeteuk move from the center of the couch to the left side. Kangin sat next to Heechul. 

"Don't you guys work in the same show?" Kangin dove into the chicken and Leeteuk sighed. "I think she likes you."

"She is just pitying an old man like me. Don't read into it too much." Leeteuk hated getting attached to any woman because that usually drove the fans crazy.

Most of the Super Junior members had to give up their active idol life for married life. Kangin was working on his business and his wife was also a professional trainer. The two of them have been thick as thieves and are now parents to twins. Heechul married a model who turned out to be unbelievably domesticated. After getting married she starred in a home-cooking show and became a hit. Now she works with different celebrities to teach them how to make healthy food at home. 

"Sungmin is here!" Kangin read a message on his phone. Kangin opened the door and saw Sungmin with his son. 

"Uncle Teuk, I missed you!" Seunjin jumped at Leeteuk and hugged him. 

"I brought some bone soup broth. My mom said that you can use it for cooking a few things. Just don't be lazy. Or if you are lazy just ask Kangin-hyung to cook for you."

"Do you want him to die from indigestion?" Heechul received a chest slap after saying that. "There are children here!" 

Jonghyun sat across from the three men and smiled. He was so happy to know that they have all become happier since he last saw them. But he knew from Leeteuk's point of view that seeing your friends so happy after suffering so much makes you feel worse because you can't seem to figure out what is wrong with you and why aren't you as happy as they are. 

Kyuhyun came after an hour with grocery bags full of vegetables. He was followed by Donghae who brought in a styrofoam that turned out to have a live octopus in it. It scared Sungmin's son but the rest of them looked forward to eating it. 

"Where's Hyukjae?"

"He's on a plane going somewhere tropical." Donghae smirked. "He's staying with a friend of ours who opened an academy over there. So he should be okay."

"They can't stay in the same hotel, right?"

"Nope. Not if we want him and her to be safe from that idiot." Leeteuk sat back and sighed. Even now he was worrying about his brother. 

"Stop worrying about him. He is about to finally get the girl. YOU are the one we should be worried about. Are you into men now that I never hear you go out on a date?" Kyuhyun was still as direct as he was before. "Hyung, there are so many beautiful women willing to date you and love you and marry you. Why are you moping around making us cook for you like this when you should be out and about?"

"I am too old to party and you know I hate that kind of scene."

"Then go to church and find a woman there. Gesh. Your excuses are just too lame." Kyuhyun put the chopped up octopus on the table and the rest of them settled into the convertible sofa. "Also we need to throw this couch away. So you can sleep on a real bed again."

'This is my bed. Lay off it." Leeteuk was used to the more mature Kyuhyun. His wife was raising a second baby and he's been a dad much longer than anyone. Suprisingly, he was the first member to have a baby and everyone just revert to being hoobaes when he starts talking about life situations. Although Sungmin got married first, his kid was three. Kyuhyun had a five year old son and a newborn daughter. 

"You need to bring your life into a kind of normalcy. You lived like this for five years because you just gave up on ever letting anyone else live here. The only time you ever clean is when you have a show that requires you to show off your house. And even then we all know that isn't how you really live." Kyuhyun pointed at a closed door. "We are cleaning out that room today or so help me I will start a fire in your building to make sure it's gone." 

Leeteuk knew that would be unlikely but just to be sure there is no arson article the next day he nodded. 

Heechul opened the door to the walk in closet and coughed. "This smells like it hasn't been opened in years."

Jonghyun saw the level of dust and figured that to be true. When the light went on, there were women's clothes and shoes inside. It was left untouched. Jonghyun realized that the room held a frightening truth for Leeteuk. The person who owned those things didn't even bother to collect them after all that time. It was as if she just walked away and discarded everything, including him. 

"Should we just torch it then?" Heechul turned around and face a terror-stricken Leeteuk. "Well, any ideas?"

"Let's just pack everything and give it away." Kyuhyun chimed in.

"Let's sell it somewhere and donate the money." Heechul suggested

"Let's bring it to my house and burn it in the yard." Donghae teased. 

"The environment!" Sungmin called out.

Jonghyun had to laugh. They were still a bunch of weirdos. "So what is the mission?"

"You have to get him to go on a date with someone."

"I am not a love angel. I am a messenger."

"Yeah, so your message is one of love." S tilted her head as if teasing Jonghyun. 

"I couldn't even get myself a date when I was around here. You are asking me to get one for him?" Jonghyun felt frustrated. 

"Good luck." 


	6. Love Call

"So the first time you guys wanted to hang out just us guys, you call me to clean?" Ryeowook shook his head in dismay. 

"Well, you have a temp business. And you have a cleaning business. And you have a DIY laundry business. So we figured you knew more about this that we did." The rest of them agreed to what Kangin said. "Help your hyung. Heechul threatened to burn all those clothes in there."

"But the environment!" Ryeowook's comment made the rest of them laugh. Jonghyun had to laugh since it sounded identical to Sungmin's outcry earlier. 

"I can't believe you are making me clean." Yesung moped the floor and Shindong was taking clothes in bulk off the rack. "There are enough of you guys to start doing this." 

The other members cooked while the rest cleaned. Kibum came in with more boxes and the rest packed the clothes to have them brought to one of Ryeowook's nearby laundry service shops. "Why didn't we do this earlier?"

"Because every time we asked to do it ourselves or pay someone to do it, Leeteuk-hyung threatened to change his phone number and never talk to us again." Heechul teased Leeteuk. "Though I wouldn't mind if that was the case. But my wife is an ELF who loved Leeteuk hyung for years. To this day, she still considers him her free pass."

"What's a free pass?" Kibum asked. 

"It's the guy she is allowed to sleep with if the chance ever comes up and I can't call it cheating or break up with her."

"What? That's terrible."

"That is the deal we have. So no one cheats." Heechul laughed. The other guys thought about doing the same thing. Jonghyun saw them shake their heads. What works for one member doesn't necessarily work for another one. 

"I would never give my wife a free pass person. I would just not stop thinking about it." Kangin pushed a box out of his way. "I'd be miserable." 

"Who's your free pass?" Kibum asked.

"Stop teasing them Heechul. You would kill whoever your wife names as her free pass. I bet my left nut that's the case." Leeteuk came out of the kitchen with some beer. "Here stop talking about that crap and drink this."

"Do you want me to be too drunk later? I've had six of these since I got here." Heechul drank anyway. 

"Hyung's beers have like 1% alchohol. It tastes like beer but it's just carbonated water."

"You lied to me?" Heechul spoke to the beer can. 

"So you pretending to be tired because you are getting drunk isn't gonna work this time." Donghae gave Heechul a hand-held vaccum. "Clean the shelves." 

"Disrespectful brat." Heechul went to clean the shelves anyway. 

The doorbell surprised everyone but him. "Were we expecting someone else?" Except for the members who were living abroad, all members were already in the apartment. 

"I called in some helpers." Heechul called out. "Hyung open the door!"

Jonghyun peeked through the door and smiled. "I guess I don't really need to help that much. Heechul is nosy as ever." 

"Happiness!" Red Velvet members called out when Leeteuk opened the door. "We are here for the free clothes and the shoes." Joy walked in and greeted everyone cheerfully. 

"Are you going to take the clothes like this?"

"Yep. We have a women's center that we donate stuff to. So we are bring this with us." 

"Don't we have to wash them first?" Ryeowook asked. 

"We can do that in the center." Irene was wide-eyed when she saw the clothes. "Oh my gosh, these clothes are so...dated." 

"They're half a decade old, I think." Seulgi was very fashionable and saw the designs as retro. "But they look well-preserved. I think we can just wash them and see."

"Are you guys gonna wash all of these clothes yourself?" Ryeowook walked out with the box of underwear. 

"Those you have to throw out. We can't donate those." Joy laughed. 

"She bought them in Paris mostly. So I suggest you don't throw them out." Leeteuk chimed in. 

"Oh my." The girls took out the underwear and started chattering. Yeri was the only one who didn't even come close. "These are haute couture. But we really can't donate them." 

"I can't keep them so you guys do what you want with them." Leeteuk just went to the kitchen to prepare more drinks. The other members moved the clothes out of the apartment box by box. Leeteuk heard them walk out and he had to grip the side of the counter for support. 

He felt someone stroke his back. He didn't realize that he's been silently crying. His body was shaking and he didn't know how long he'd be able to stay on his feet. 

"Let's sit over there." He turned around and saw that it was Yerim. She was smiling softly at him, a shy and comforting smile. She helped him walk through the clutter towards the glass window. They sat down on the wall couch and Leeteuk put his head between his legs and cried. Yerim kept stroking his back. 

"She's...really not coming back, right?" He asked her. Yerim kept stroking his back but nodded. "It's really really over. I am really alone here now, right?"

"What am I? Am I not here with you?"

"You know what I mean." 

"Yes. You live here alone now. You've had for five years now. That closet being empty doesn't mean anything has changed. It just means you can put your clothes in there now. And not letting a ghost of a marriage live there. You can finaly move on from her." 

"I never wanted to. I never wanted to lose her in the first place." Jonghyun touched Yerim's shoulder. He felt her anger rising but also the pain of seeing Leeteuk broken up over his ex-wife's clothes were stopping her from saying anything out of anger. 

Jonghyun smiled when he also felt the overwhelming love she had for him. "Let him know. Just let him know." He whispered unto Yerim's ears. "Be brave, dear Yerim. Be brave. You only live once. So let it be a brave life full of love." 

"I can help you with that." Leeteuk looked puzzled when Yerim said that. It was too late for him to figure out what was going to happen next. Yerim was already kissing him before he could say a word out. 

It must have only been a few seconds but Leeteuk pushed Yerim so hard she almost fell off the couch. "Omo." He caught her and pulled her towards him. Yerim groaned when her face hit his chest. It was not something romantic scenes were made off. When Yerim looked up, her right chin was red from the impact. She had tears in the corner of her eyes. She stood up and slapped him. 

"You kissed me first!" Leeteuk was frazzled and upset that he's been slapped when he didn't even do anything. 

Jonghyun saw S press her nosebridge. He just shook his head. "This hyung..." 

"Yes, I kissed you first. I am sorry I even bothered." Yerim was about to walk away when Leeteuk stopped her by her arm. She turned around with a hopeful look on her face. 

"Don't kiss people out of pity. It's an awful way to help them feel better." After saying that he let her arm go. Yerim was frozen for a few seconds before she picked up a throw pillow and hit Leeteuk with it. 

"Stop it. That hurts! Yerim!" 

"You.In.Sen.Si.Tive.I.Di.Ot!" She hit him with every syllable and was in a tug-of-war with the throw pillow with Leeteuk. "Do I look like I kiss people randomly? You pabo!" 

Leeteuk pulled the throw pillow off her hands finally. Yerim was breathing heavily. "What are you talking about? Just go home, Yerim. I'm not in my right mind right now."

"Is...is it because I kissed you?"

"Yes, No! I am being emotional right now because of the clean-up and the guys were here. And you...kissed me." Leeteuk brushed his face with both hands. "I am not the right guy for you, Yerim. I'm forty-effing-five. You are barely thirty. Find someone else closer to your age. I am sure any man would be lucky to have you."

"Too bad the lucky guy is a complete and utter idiot clinging on to a woman who doesn't even come back to get her Manollos back." Yerim took her sling bag and marched out of the apartment. She was surprised to see Suju and Red Velvet members lined up the hallway. Her friends rushed to her and asked what happened to her face. 

"He didn't slap you did he?"

"No. I hit my face...on his chest."

Joy laughed. "Trust you to do something like that with such a precious...chest." 

"Ya, Kim Yerim. Your face is going to bruise!" Seulgi exclaimed. 

"Did you really kiss him?" Yesung asked. 

Yerim blushed some more but nodded. 

"And he didn't say anything?"

"Did he kiss you back?"

Yerim burst out in tears. 

"That idiot." Heechul was stopped by the other members from coming inside. Kangin slipped passed everyone with sheer brute force. 

"Kangin oppa. Please." Kangin stopped in his tracks and didn't come inside the apartment. 

"Screw him. I am going home. You guys talk some sense into him then call me when he is a human being again. I can't talk to that variety robot any longer. Also I need a bath." 

The rest of the members decided it was better to leave him alone for now. But Yesung said he was going to stay. His wife was out of town so he didn't really have anything to do at home. 

"That's better." Jonghyun was in fact that one that urged Yesung to stay. "He can't be alone right now." He knew more than anyone that being alone with one's thoughts is almost the same as self-harm. We inflict wounds to ourselves that no one else can see. 

Yesung came in and kept cleaning around Leeteuk who was looking out the window with a mournful look on his face. 

"All clean!" Yesung declared when he finished sorting out all the remaining clutter. He sat next to Leeteuk and whined. "Hyung stroke my lower back. Massage please." Leeteuk didn't say anything and just proceeded to doing what Yesung asked. "Ah~ That's the spot."

"So hyung, is Yerim a good kisser?" Yesung found himself propelled to the other couch when Leeteuk kicked him off the wall couch. "That hurts!" 

"Stop asking me stupid questions."

"You are the one being stupid." Jonghyun was using Yesung's voice but it was him actually saying those words. 

"She is too good for me."

"Of course she is. She's been too good for anyone since she became a wonderful woman. But she chose you, a broken man who can't even clean out a closet for crying out loud." Jonghyun was angry seeing Yerim be rejected like that. He was like a brother whose pretty sister got dumped. He hated that she was dumped by a guy who didn't even deserve her. "Give me one good reason why you wouldn't want to be with her."

"Sixteen."

"Sixteen what?"

"Sixteen years."

"Screw that. People twenty years apart are marrying each other. What's sixteen years costing you? Your happiness." Jonghyun finally realized why Leeteuk accepted that coffee but never drank it. He couldn't resist her but he didn't want to indulge himself with any kind of act that would give him relief. 

"I am not good enough for her...for anyone. Just leave me alone!" Leeteuk stormed into the bathroom and Yesung knocked on it and demanded him to open the door. "At least let me pee! Gesh!" 

S laughed at the three guys trying to figure out what to do with this mission. "Not as easy as you thought, right? People are most stubborn when they think that love isn't something they deserve to have in their lives. For someone like Leeteuk who was cast aside, it comes with the massive fear of abandonment. Any time they even think that happiness is something they can have, it terrifies them thinking of the pain that would come just after that. The pain may or may not come. But they still fear it. And so inaction is the best course of logical action their brain tells them. But the longing that all humans have to love, makes him even more miserable."

"So what should I do?"

"How would I know? You're the love messenger not me."

"Worst guide ever."


	7. LTNS, Hyung

Jonghyun was pacing and S was getting dizzy watching him do it. She was sitting next to Leeteuk who was already sleeping. Jonghyun could see the dark energy emeting from Leeteuk going into S. It was so dark and flowy but still very visible in the dimly lit room. 

"Can you please stop doing that?" Jonghyun was worried that she was feeding too much from Leeteuk that it might affect him. 

"It will make him feel more rested when he wakes up. Don't worry too much. I am getting the negative energy not anything else. I'm a restless not a demon." S rolled her eyes at him. Jonghyun just sat down next to Leeteuk who was taking up only one side of the bed. It was so big. That was probably why he never slept there. He was so used to having someone next to him that he hugged a large pillow in his sleep. Jonghyun stroked his hair and wanted to cry. 

"He's been through so much. But no one knows just how much. Not even his brothers. He's always like that. He is hungry for affection but is barely even able to ask people for more love." Jonghyun remembered when Super Junior made a bet that people are not allowed to be emo on their social media so that fans don't worry too much about them. But Leeteuk couldn't help it. His schedule was always packed that he barely had time to date and make time to just relax and be with friends. There was always another schedule. Even sleeping and eating out had to be penned into his schedule otherwise he won't get enough rest. 

"He used to say that the doctors are asking him if he has a large debt somewhere that he needs to pay off. Because at the rate he was pacing himself then, they figured he'd have to retire early due to health issues. I was so worried about him after I got up there that I tried to visit him as often as I could. But I didn't know he got married and got hurt. I was busy learning how to gain my wings."

"We can't always watch over people. They have their own life missions. And we can't interfere. It's not like we are some kind of deity who can do that. We are soldiers. We follow orders or else we get in big trouble. Sometimes an angel would overstep their job description and it would make such a mess of things that angels would have to take years to fix the ripple effect. That's why we have guides for newbies. So we can train you to forget the human feeling of having a choice in what to do next."

"What are you talking about, you are barely guiding me to do anything. You are just letting me do what I want." Jonghyun was confused. 

"There are limits to what you can choose to do. Those are just details. What I mean is that if it is still within your mission goal, you can do it. But if you overstep your mission goals then I would have to tell on you or stop you. Even if the short term effect is good, if the long-term result would cause damage to the life mission of a human, then the guide needs to persuade the angel to stop or find an alternative." 

"I'm getting a headache. I thought I would just instinctively know what to do when I get here. But it's a lot more complicated than I thought." Jonghyun looked at Leeteuk. "I wish I could just tell him directly that things would be okay if he just go and follow his heart. Hyukjae figured it out right away. How come this hyung is so darn stubborn."

"He's not stubborn, he's just scared shitless." S smirked at Leeteuk. "He's pretty handsome and he is doing much better off than before. He didn't have to pay alimony because his wife was the reason he got divorced. She just wanted to be free from their marriage to do whatever she wanted. But Leeteuk never wanted to let go. So today was really tiring for him. It was the last day he could be hopeful for her. So he's going to be a mess starting tomorrow."

"But he has Yerim."

"No, he doesn't. She is here, close to him. But he doesn't want to have her in his life like that." S's statement was ticking Jonghyun off. 

He touched Leeteuk's forehead and decided he needed to get through to the stubborn old man before it gets any worse. 

Jonghyun was at the cafe that the Milk Club used to frequent. He was glad that was the image that Leeteuk's mind used. "Hyung, long time no see." 

"Jong-hyun..." Leeteuk lowered his coffee cup and stood up to hug Jonghyun. 

"How the heck are you?" He asked his hyung. Leeteuk sat back down and looked at his coffee. 

"I am doing horriblely actually. That's probably why I called you out in my dream." He smiled at Jonghyun but his smile didn't reach his eyes. 

"Nah. I was actually in your house all day. Everyone is looking good these days."

"Really, wow. That explains a few things. Yesung usually doesn't hang around like that. He's usually the first kid out the door." Jonghyun laughed. 

"I told him to stay. I also told someone else to do something."

"Don't tell me you...You! Byuntae!" Jonghyun held his stomach from laughter. "Ya! Kim Jonghyun!"

"Hyung, I told her to be brave. I didn't tell you to do that. Though, I guess, for Yerim that is what brave love is all about." 

Leeteuk's ears were so red it cracked up Jonghyun. "Stop teasing me about it. It was so embarrassing. She almost fell off the couch!"

"I wanted to say lalala laladidah at that time. Seriously it was so cute!" Jonghyun hit Leeteuk's arm cutely. 

"Stop it, you're not helping."

"Actually, that's why I am here."

"What do you mean by here? Here in my dream or here here like on Earth here? Did you become a wandering spirit? It's been ten years! We did like three memorial services a year, during Chuseok, your birthday and on December. That can't be true. You should have gone to the light! Ya! Kim Jonghyun!" 

"Hyung, hyung, relax. Ask Hyukjae later. I talked to him." 

"That brat left without even saying anything about talking to you. I will chew him out when he comes home with Ji Eun."

"That might take a while." Jonghyun smiled. "I might not be here anymore when he comes back."

"What do you mean? The others need to get him to talk to us first. Or even the other members. Oh my God, you need to talk to Yerim. I have to make him come home first. That selfish anchovy." 

Jonghyun laughed. "Don't worry. I think I would have enough time to see everyone. I am just on my second mission so it should take more than a hundred to get me promoted."

"Promoted, what you are you talking about?" Leeteuk was really confused now. 

"I am like...a trainee angel. I do messenger work now. Once I get past this level, I might be a guardian angel or something else. I don't want to be an angel of death though. I am too queasy for that. I heard that it was not as cool as Dongwook hyung made it look like." 

Jonghyun smiled at his perplexed hyung then continued. "You are mission number dos. IU was the first one."

"Really. Wow. You helped her thanks."

"Nope, you guys helped her. I am just a messenger. I can't actually do anything. We send messages and inspiration. But we can't actually make people do things they don't want to do. So in the case of Yerim, she was just acting on her own free will. And so should you."

"Not you too." Leeteuk drank from the coffee and looked very pensive. 

"I can't move on to my next mission until you get your act together."

"Then I will just keep you around so I am not lonely." Leeteuk teased him. "Only God knows how much I miss you." 

"Hyung, I am pretty sure half of my wings are just from your prayers." Jonghyun teased him back. 

"Really, wings are made ouf of prayers? That is so cool. Good to know good to know." 

"I didn't know either. I just found out before I got them." Jonghyun knew that Leeteuk was skillfully trying to change the topic. But he didn't exert this much energy just to talk about random things. 

"There are many more people I need to visit and send messages to. I can't be with your forever. I want to be a guide someday not just a messenger." 

"You are ambitious now...well, you always were. It's just too bad..." Leeteuk started to tear up. Jonghyun gave him some tissue. 

"I will get my chance again someday. Someone told me I can get reborn too." 

"Really. Be reborn as my son, okay. I will take great care of you."

"Yeah, I heard you are millionaire now." Jonghyun teased him. 

"Ya. That's not the only way parents can love their children."

"I bet you would be the cutest and most annoying father. I don't want to be reborn as a girl because if I was your daughter, you would never let me marry."

"That is probably true. So just be my son and we can play a lot together."

"And I can get shoes and girl tips from all the hyungs...I mean all the uncles." 

"Don't get me started. I am worried that Kyuhyun's son would grow up to be just like him. I trust in his wife's super power. If she could tame a Kyuhyun, surely she can tame a cub just like him." 

"It's time for you to open your heart again, hyung. The closet is just step one. The rest of the steps are up to you."

"I think I should go shopping for new stuff to put in there." Leeteuk smiled. 

"Bring Yerim when you go shopping. And Seulgi. Don't bring Heechul. That hyung would just..."

"I will bring Jessica and Taeyeon. I think they would be more knowledgeable than Yerim and Seulgi."

"You are intolerable, you know that? Stubborn old man." Leeteuk just smiled at him. 

Jonghyun raised an eyebrow at him. "I bet you my left wing that those two would be too busy to help you out."

"Ya, Kim Jonghyun, you better not do anything weird."

"What are you talking about, hyung? I am an angel. I am an angel now." Jonghyun and Leeteuk laughed. 

"You are still a rascal, I know that for a fact. Don't you even pull that angel thing on me." Leeteuk sipped on his coffee cup but the coffee was all gone.

"Time's up, hyung. I have to go."

"Don't leave me."

"I am just right next to you. Always. Just rest. Okay?" They hugged and Jonghyun went out of the cafe. He looked back and saw Leeteuk smiling at him while crying. 

"Sucha crybaby, this hyung." He wiped his own tears and walked out of Leeteuk's dream. 

S looked down at the crying Leeteuk, "I hope that helps him get started. I am wondering who your next mission is already." S was holding a small notebook that got Jonghyun curious. 

"Is that the list?"

"Yes and no. The name and picture of the person who is your next mission comes out when you finish one mission. So until Leeteuk gets cracking, we won't see the next picture."

"I really want to visit my brothers already." 

"We can see them if Leeteuk interacts with them but otherwise we can't."

"That sucks." 

"Rules are rules. The mission comes first, My Angel J." 

"I know. But that doesn't make it suck any less." Jonghyun sighed. At the rate Leeteuk was going, he was going to be here for a while. "This hyung, aigoo." 


	8. Spell Awkward T-E-U-K-Y-E-R-I

Jonghyun was floating near the window when S dragged him inside. "What if she's changing? I don't want to see my little sister that way!" 

S rolled her eyes at him and Jonghyun sheepishly went inside the house. "Yerim-a~ Where are you?" S closed her eyes in frustration. Jonghyun seemed different when it was Yerim around him. With the other people she saw him with so far, he's been more reserved. But now S was getting a nauseating feeling that he was going to unleash a hella bunch of aegyo at Yerim. S wanted to quit her guide duties if that was a possibility. She had asked another restless, a girl who people call Aqua since she was such a big fan of Shinee that she followed the members around, showering them with protective energy everywhere they went, about him before he got assigned to her. She was a restless that was assigned to all the Shinee fans after Jonghyun died. All that S remembers about her is that 1) Aqua is not her real name and 2) She died before a major Shinee concert and she wanted to come and see Shinee as her last wish before she gets reborn. But she got really into her duties as a restless ten years ago. And because of all the enduring sadness and grief of people in her fandom, she decided to stay as a guardian angel for the remaining four members. It was hard but she has a squad that guards the other three members. Aqua was assigned to watch Onew who was the leader of Shinee. S wanted Jonghyun to meet her but maybe later. S bets that Aqua would pout when she finds out that Jonghyun's guidance was given to a former rocker chic rather than a former Shawol. But orders are orders, an angel's got to do what an angel's got to do. 

S's phone rang. Jonghyun was shocked that thing actually rings. "What if Yerim hears us!" 

"She can't hear my phone, duh. I am on Angel network, duh." 

"Can I get one too?"

"After you finish 20 missions, you can get a flip phone. Then after 30 missions, you can get a smartphone." 

"What? That is going to take forever." Jonghyun pouted. 

"It's not like you know any other angels that you can communicate with."

"That's not true. I have friends up there" he pointed skyward. 

"Why would they need this? They can just talk to each other." 

"You make a good point. Answer your phone."

"It's me." S answered her phone. "Yes, he's with me. No. We are busy. Later. Later." S cancelled the call and let out an exhausted sigh. "Fangirls gesh." 

Jonghyun was curious, "Who was your friend?"

"Just some guardian angel who wanted to meet you." S answered. 

"Was she my fan?"

"You probably know her. I just don't know her real name. We call her Aqua." Jonghyun was delighted that some of his fans are also angels.

"Don't go planning your heavenly fanmeet, J. You are at least 99 missions away from having any kind of free time." He gaped at her when she said the number. "It's good to know how much left you have to do. You have eternity to do the rest of the 99."

"But I want to get promoted soon."

"So let's get Leeteuk to work."

"I never imagined this hyung would be this difficult to deal with. He was like the biggest romantic when I was around. He was just busy as heck so he barely dated. But when he did, he was worse than Heechul." S did not want to know the details so she walked into Yerim's room. 

Jonghyun followed her and thanked God that Yerim was already doing her make-up. Or so it seemed. 

She was staring at the mirror, her hand holding a lip brush mid-way to putting pink lipstick on her lower lip. 

Jonghyun waved his hand in front of her face. "What is wrong with her? Is she paused or something?" 

S shrugged and waved her hand in front of her face too.

Yerim let out a cute frustrated sigh and continued to put on lipstick. "What's the point of looking pretty if your crush won't even look at you." She checked her teeth for lipstick smudges and then glared at the mirror. "Ya! Park Jungsu! You idiot! I love you, get that into your stupid...pretty head." She tried to apply eye cream but stopped mid-way and just stood up and stomped around the room. "I am so pissed off. Gahd." 

She stopped in front of her closet and opened it abruptly. She took out a white dress out of the closet. "Let's see you ignore me today, Park Jungsu. So help me God, I am going to make you drool."

"Leeteuk is dead today. He is totally dead today." Jonghyun turned around when Yerim changed into the dress. S tapped his shoulder so he turned around. The white dress was a flowing dress. Somehow his dongsaeng turned into a lovely woman at 29. Jonghyun shook his head. "SM women are really scary when they are pissed off." 

 

"Wow. Just. Wow." one of the staff member walked in front of Leeteuk and was muttering to himself. 

"Did something happen?" he asked.

"Have you seen Yerim today?" the staff member asked Leeteuk. He shook his head to answer. "Well, prepare for trouble, the cameras are not going to be able to take their lenses off her. She is so hot today." 

Leeteuk shook his head. This was what he was worried about. Whenever SM women got frustrated after a break-up they vamp up. And he really hated that kind of look. He prefered someone simple and natural looking. A hot Yerim wouldn't be unusual since Red Velvet did mature their concepts over time to fit the member's age and current image. 

He sat on his MC seat to wait for the other guests and hosts. Red Velvet was their guests today and he was really really worried about how they were going to react to him being the guest MC. He didn't know until that morning that his guesting was with them. He couldn't turn it down since it would look odd that he refused to MC for a show that had his co-label in it. 

Jonghyun was laughing and S was rolling her eyes. Jonghyun had encouraged the MC of the show to eat something that had dairy in it. The poor man was having a hard time at home and Leeteuk was called in to replace that man as a favor. "It's a good thing that he didn't get poisoned from what you suggested."

"You want to see the next mission, right? This is a shortcut. Leeteuk is so going to get grilled." Jonghyun was clapping like a seal. "This is live right?" S nodded. "This is going to be so much fun." 

"If you say so." S just sat on top of an equipment box to get a better view of what was going to happen. There were no studio audience but there was a live feed audience who could give comments and hearts to the show. The show was going to be streamed and shown live on the web and on iTV Korean channels. 

Leeteuk's co-MC walked in and he wanted to just get swallowed by the ground. It was none other than Kim Heechul, the devil himself. "What are you doing here?" 

"Sunbae gave me a call. He asked me to help you out." Heechul was close to the original MCs of the show. Seeing as they were not available that day, Leeteuk was preparing to have a hard time being by himself. But being with Heechul would be harder since the other one was a bit uncontrollable once he starts spilling out secrets. 

"You know I can do this by myself. I will send you half the pay just don't do it with me, please?"

"Nope. I want to help them out. You know how it is." Heechul is very close to Yeri so that was a given. 

"Just stick to the script, okay?"

The PD came in to tell them the shoot was going to start in ten minutes. Red Velvet walked into the studio and Heechul saw Leeteuk's jaw drop when Yerim walked into the studio set in a flowing white dress. "Not even a chance." 

"Heechul, please."

"Hyung, you know how I am. Don't even ask me to do the impossible." Leeteuk wanted to cry but he knew that Heechul would just make fun of him more. So he tried to relax himself. The both greeted the Red Velvet ladies and settled back on their seats. 

 

The show started smoothly with Leeteuk and Heechul kidding around that they were going to be the new hosts from that day. Fans were ecstatic but they fezzed up, "Actually today we are the special MC and because we are here, we are going to introduce our little sisters who are coming back with a mellow album called Memories of Us. Please give your hearts to, Red Velvet!" 

Red Velvet greeted the fans and introduced themselves one by one. When it was Yerim's turn she didn't take her eyes off the camera and said, "I am Kim Yerim, you can call me Yeri~ I am looking for a prince today~" She made a call me sign and the fanboys just went crazy with their comments. The number of hearts exploded and the other members teased her for taking the limelight so early on the show. 

"Please give a lot of love to our maknae. She's a bit lonely these days." Joy who was already dating someone teased her.

Seulgi chimed in too, "We want our Yeri to find someone to love so she won't bother us when we are on our dates." 

"Should we give out her contact information then?" Irene took out her phone and was gesturing to it. 

"Eonnie!" Yeri was blushing. 

Heechul pilled on. "If you want to go on a blind date with Yeri, you can DM me on my Instagram. You must be a hardworking and good-looking man with a warm heart. Our Yeri is very loving but she tends to like men who are cold." 

Leeteuk swallowed before he spoke up. "I didn't know that was Yeri's type."

"Let's make that our first question, for the single members of Red Velvet, what is your type in a guy?"

"But Yeri is the only single one."

"Really, omo. Then Yeri, what kind of guy would you be interested in dating?" Heechul was ignoring Leeteuk's warning glances. 

"Well, it's not true that I like cold men." Red Velvet started making Eh~ noises at her. "I want to be with someone who is warm and loving. Someone who would be a good husband and father. I don't want to date just for the sake of dating a handsome man." Yeri looked at Joy. 

"Why are you looking at me? It's not my fault my man is very handsome. He just happened to be handsome. I liked his personality first!" To this the other members and MCs said Eh~ too. 

"In your new album Memories of Us, is there any song that is for a particular person who you want to remember?" Leeteuk knew he needed to steer the conversation back to the script. Heechul would probably wing it if he was by himself.

Irene spoke up, "Well we made a song that was about the men in our lives right now. But since Yeri is single, she thought of a dear friend of hers that she misses when we were asked to write our parts of the song." 

"Is this friend someone she dated in the past?" Heechul teased Yeri. Leeteuk couldn't help but hold his breath in waiting for her answer. 

"No, it's Jonghyun oppa." Everyone looked at Yeri with softer gazes after she mentioned him. "It's been almost what...ten years? But I still miss him terribly. Whenever something good happens like a song we get to write for ourselves happen, I instinctively go to my phone and want to call him and ask him how I can do it." 

Seulgi spoke up, "We did get a lot of help from other people in the company like Donghae oppa helped us out with making some lyrics. But it would have been great to have Jonghyun oppa with us to make this song. He would have guided us every step of the way." The rest of the girls nodded in agreement. 

"Everyone, I think, feels the same way. Since SM changed the concept of artists to singer-songwriters a few years back, we all thought that if he was with us, he would probably be the music composition trainer for all the new artists and trainees. And he would have loved every moment of it." 

"So our title track ended up getting named Always With Me. Yeri suggested it. We all loved it even the producer said it was the best title we could use. It's hopeful and nostalgic at the same time." 

Jonghyun saw Yeri wipe a few rouge tears. "I'm sorry. I just feel a bit overwhelmed. Sorry." She laughed it off but Jonghyun knew that she was trying to keep it together since it was a live show. 

"How about we listen to a preview of Always with Me?" Heechul tried to cheer everyone up. 

The members went into the middle of the set. The studio lights went out  and spotlights came on. 

The music gradually played and the chorus played out. 

The you who thought I was beautiful still lives inside my heart

Always With Me, stand by my side

Through all the of the moments that make me smile 

Fading days Always with Me 

Loving each other unexpectedly

Always with me in my heart~

The lights went back on and Red Velvet went back to their seats. "The fans are going nuts. So many comments are coming into the feed, I can't read anything anymore." Heechul was clapping. 

"So all the guys who ended up dating, were they unexpected?" 

Joy spoke up, "Actually yes. In my case we were in a show for a bit then we lost time to hang out because we are from different agencies. But he found a way to get reconnected. So I was very happy that he took the initiaive."

"I am dating someone who isn't part of this industry so it was really hard for him to understand some things about it. He got jealous sometimes and I had to explain that this was how things are for my job. Eventually he realized that our fans are really good people and he trusted me more and more with my decisions after that." Seulgi was dating a non-celebrity so it's been hard for her. 

"I am a very straight-forward person when it comes to my personal life but since I am dating an actor there are things that are different with our work but the general fear that people would abandon us if they found out we were dating was something we had talked about for long hours at a time. We thought that being in a SOME was better than actually putting a label on our relationship. I thought it was hard just for me then he just went to my place one time, straight from a shoot, and he told me that he couldn't not be my boyfriend and so we decided to date openly." Wendy's dating scandal was with a really popular actor so many fans did have a lot to say about their relationship. 

"I am a bit of a YOLO kind of person when it comes to my relationship. He makes me feel like I can trust him so it's not a problem for me if he is off doing a concert in the other side of the world. He keeps me in the loop with what he is doing by sending my dorky messages and memes. We keep our relationship really honest yet fun that way." Irene is dating a member of a popular boy band so their schedules were packed all year long. "It's hard when he's busy and I am not then it gets reversed. But whenever we have free time that matches we just block it off for each other. Our friends tend to complain so sometimes we go on group dates and vacations instead." 

"And I am always by myself. It sucks." Yeri pouted, making the whole group laugh at her punchline. 

"We keep setting her up on blind dates but she keeps finding excuses not to see those people. I set her up with Park Bogum once. Like it's Bogum and she was like 'He's prettier than me", it was so annoying." Joy teased Yeri. 

"You set her up with Bogum?" Leeteuk had to try to control himself. Heechul was not willing to calm him down. 

"Don't worry, let's ask D.O. to ask him again. I am sure he can ask. Wait, why not do it now?" Leeteuk had to think of Heechul's wife and how hurt she would be if he murdered her husband on live TV. 

Yeri faced the camera closest to her "Bogum oppa, can you be Always With Me? Let's make some Memories of Us!" the other members cringed at her chessy video note. Leeteuk wanted to slam his cue cards and leave the studio. Heechul just laughed at the cheesiness and Leeteuk's thinly veiled anger. 

"I think your fans might put Bogum's life in danger." Leeteuk teased. 

Irene waved it off, "They wouldn't do that. Yeri is our baby and our fans just love her like their daughter or little sister. So they would want her to be with someone like him. He has a very good reputation and he's talented. Any woman would go for him for sure." 

"I don't think that Bogum is her style." 

"And who do you think is her style, you?" Heechul teased Leeteuk. 

"Why not? I'm awesome."

"You are old."

"Age is only a number, you know." 

S rolled her eyes while looking at Jonghyun using Leeteuk as his mouthpiece. "He's a nutter that one."

Heechul laughed, "So do you like Yeri like a woman?"

Leeteuk covered his mouth with his cue cards. Everyone laughed at his gesture. 

"How about you Yeri, do you like Leeteuk as a man?"

Yeri raised her eyebrow and pouted as if she was thinking about it then said, "Fat chance. He is an ajusshi," to which everyone laughed so hard Leeteuk wanted to get swallowed up by the floor.


	9. A Glimpse of Paradise

Leeteuk was flustered after the show to say the least. Heechul pretty much took care of the hosting after Yerim threw him the ahjussi bomb. 

"Want to go for a drink?" Heechul changed into more casual clothes and had his manager leave with the van. Leeteuk changed into a casual clothes too but wore a long parka. 

"I'm tired. Maybe next time."

"Jessica called me. She watched the show."

"Crap." Leeteuk saw that his phone has about thirty missed calls. Jung sisters, Exo dongsaengs and even an unknown number. 

"Do you know this number?"

"It's Hyukjae's PH number, save it." Leeteuk labeled it Anchovy then video called it to make sure. 

Hyukjae answered with a wide smile on his face. "Wassap Korea~" years of doing Vlive paid off and they were able to frame the call perfectly. 

"Are you at the beach right now?" Heechul asked. Hyukjae showed them the water. Heechul swore. "I hate you. Our asses are freezing out here and you are at the fracking beach?"

"Suzy said sunshine is useful for depression so we went here." Hyukjae showed a native house in the background. It was bigger than the actual nipa huts of the locals. 

"Are you are Dara's resort?"

"Nope. We are at Donghae's secret resort in the Philippines."

"What? Donghae has a resort there?" Leeteuk was shocked with that news. 

"Well, he bought it when he was still hoping Dara would marry him." Hyukjae laughed. "That shit did not work out for him. So he's been using it as an escape pod. Now it's our escape pod." 

"I am going to grill that other fish later when I meet him. We could have saved a lot of money on outings to the Philippines if he just told us about that place!" 

"Actually the outside if fine but we had to clean EVERYTHING when we got here. Apparently Donghae hasn't been here in a while so the caretakers clean the place about once a month. It's pretty remote so it didn't make sense to clean it unless someone was going to stay here. Ji Eun loved it. The cleaning and the water, that is." Hyukjae was hit in the arm by someone because the camera shook. "Watch it~"

"Hi, oppas~" Suzy and IU emerged and waved at them. 

"How's the water?" Leeteuk asked randomly. "Having fun?"

IU was smiling when she nodded. "I feel so free."

"Suzy, your director is probably going nuts right now. Are you coming home soon?"

"We moved the shoot to next month. I told them I was sick. So they are going to shoot all the other stuff that doesn't include me. It's a pre-recorded drama anyway." Suzy was definitely aces in their book. She wasn't going to leave IU even if it means it would get her in trouble with her current project. "And JYP knows where I am so, he said he'll cover for me." Being the favorite did have its perks. But it was also because Suzy and JYP respected each other that the latter could trust that Suzy was going to come back when she says she will come back and not a day sooner. 

"Must be nice to have a boss like that." Leeteuk laughed. SME was his home but it was more of a really disfunctional elistist family rather than a warm boheamian atmostphere. 

"Don't get me wrong, he drives me nuts most of the time. He is friends with YG, they are similar in ways that you don't want them to be."

"Suzy dissed two big bosses in one breathe, such a goddess." Jonghyun laughed. 

"She'll make a terrific angel someday. Like so kick-ass." S smiled. 

"I hope she lives to be a hundred though."

"At the rate she is going, I wouldn't doubt that. She has tenacity and spunk." 

"And balls bigger than any man in her company." Jonghyun laughed. She remembered Suzy to be someone who didn't care about what others thought of her. She would just do her thing. She would apologize only when she thought she did something wrong. Apart from that, she would just roll with what she believes to be right. 

"You guys take care over there. Call us if there is something you need." 

"Please send me a lot of food." Hyukjae teased. "It's hard to find Korean food stuff here. I am going to miss all the ingredients already." 

"Call up Jan or Marj. They can help you buy those things. But I think they are in Manila. But still, ask them to help you guys shop. Don't go anywhere too public, okay?" Leeteuk recommended some ELF friends who could help them. 

"Send me their numbers, please. The internet is kinda iffy here so it's hard to send any SOS to anyone. But I think we can call them." Hyukjae ended the call shortly. "We have to go prepare dinner. I have to go cook. These women are hopeless in the kitchen." 

Leeteuk saw Hyukjae getting his cheeks hit by two different hands before the call ended. 

"IU looks good." Heechul sounded relieved. 

"I still think we need to send security there." Leeteuk was worried about them being too isolated. 

"They can be traced from here so that's not a good thing. Send Hyukjae the girl's numbers so they can help him with getting local security." 

"Who needs security?" Leeteuk's phone almost flew off his hands when someone spoke behind him. 

It was Yerim peaking at his phone. She didn't change out of her white dress and Leeteuk had to look away before he swallowed hard. "Who needs security?"

"A member is on a vacation and he didn't bring a manager with him," Heechul gave an excuse. 

"Oppa, you have forgotten about me, haven't you?" Yerim looked at Heechul with a calculating look. "I know when you're lying. So just spit it out. Who needs security?"

"Hyukjae went somewhere by himself and we are worried about him." Leeteuk tried to help Heechul out. 

Yerim faced him instead, "You are an even worse liar than this one." She raised an eyebrow at him. "Is he with a woman?"

"He's with some friends. So more than one person. It's not a couple vacation at all," Leeteuk was technically telling the truth. 

Yerim was almost a breath away from him. "If you say so, ah.juh.ssi." She laughed then walked towards Red Velvet's van.

Heechul hugged Leeteuk and checked his heartbeat by pressing his ear to Leeteuk's chest. "Wow, sounds like African drums in there." Leeteuk pushed him away but Heechul just kept on teasing him. "Bet I can fry an egg on your face right now. You are so red!"

"Shuttup and drive." Leeteuk threw his car keys to Heechul. 

"I like you today. You even forgot that I don't have a driver's license anymore." Heechul laughed when Leeteuk took the keys back and went to the driver's side of the car. "This ahjussi is so cute. I can not even." 

==

Jonghyun followed Leeteuk for the rest of the week and found out that his hyung was working in a pace that was beyond normal and necessary. He had MC gigs almost three times that week. He was in a couple of regular shows. All of this schedules were timed carefully so he would do one major thing a day but the whole waiting and coming and going had to fit in his schedule too. Jonghyun knew that all too well. 

In between all of that, he visited a couple of homes, one for kids with cancer and another one for the elderly. He played with children and sang and talked with the elderly. 

Jonghyun realized that he was keeping all this free time occupied so that he wouldn't have too much time by himself. When he wasn't working or doing charity, he was babysitting at one of the Super Junior member's houses. 

"He never gets any time for himself." most men his age would be chasing tail and trying to find as much fun with women with daddy issues. But there he was being an uncle washing kid puke off his coat. 

"You know, you should be making one of those. You are an expert at this already." Kangin offered him a fresh shirt to wear. "I think it's about darn time." 

"I know." was all he said to Kangin. But Jonghyun heard the voice in his mind. If only it was that easy. 

On his way home, Leeteuk got a call from Kyuhyun. "Hyung, help emergency!" Kyuhyun started talking really fast and all Leeteuk could understand was that he was needed at the Cho's. 

"Coming." he put the call on speaker phone so he could drive. "Just don't leave until I get there." 

"Thanks hyung!" 

When he arrived at the Cho's Kyuhyun and his wife weren't there. Kyuhyun's son and baby were with someone else. "Yerim, what are you doing here?"

"Everyone is busy. So I came. And you?"

"Kyuhyun called me. Did he call you too?"

"Nope, I'm friends with his wife. I was in her show several times." Yerim with the baby in her arms, was holding the baby bottle while Kyuhyun's son was holding a book next to her. When the boy gestured at the book, Yerim started to read.

"The boy was very lonely, he didn't have any friends. But then the fox told him that he could be the boy's friend in one condition." 

"Con-ji-shun?" Leeteuk felt like Kyuhyun must have been cute when he was a kid too. 

"The condition was that the boy needed to always tell the truth." 

"Twuth?" he asked again. 

"It means the boy should never tell a lie." Kyuhyun's son seemed to understand it and smiled. 

"If no lie fox happy? Friends boy and fox?" Yerim nodded. 

"The fox said that people who lie can't find their happiness because they are busy telling lies." 

"I no tell lies!" Yerim smiled at the boy.

Leeteuk just stood watching the three of them in the couch and he felt something inside of him stir and blossom. 

Jonghyun whispered to him and said, "That's what paradise looks like for you, doesn't it?" Leeteuk found himself nodded ever so slightly. "You are this close to that paradise, are you just going to let it go?" Leeteuk shook his head once then sighed softly. "Go, get happy."

Leeteuk sat next to Kyuhyun's son and read the book for him. 

"Picture perfect." Jonghyun framed the four with his finger and smiled. 

S showed him the notebook where Leeteuk's page got an angel badge. "Mission clear." 

"That's what I'm talking about." He did a victory dance which made S laugh. 

"Wait, isn't the mission supposed to hook them up? They're baby sitting not dating." he was confused. 

"Your message was to send a message of love. Leeteuk lost love and he's found it again. The love he has to gain now isn't Yerim's love but the capacity to love again, without any fear." S explained. 

Jonghyun narrowed his eyes at S. "Why do I have a feeling that you aren't given me all the details of the mission and making me wing it and I am just accidentally nailing this."

"We can't calculate free will. We can only do so much for them. Even I don't know the whole mission until it's revealed to me." S showed him the next page. It had the picture of two women he knew so well. 

"What's the mission now?"

"Message of hope." 

"Hope?"

"Yes, hope." S smiled. 

"That's it? No other details."

"Nope."

"These missions are getting harder and harder."

"You'll get used to it."

"Probably not."

"Yeah, probably not." The two of them walked out of the Cho's apartment and into the street. Jonghyun looked up at the sky. 

"Light pollution sucks all the star-gazing fun out of the city."

"That's why a lot of people have lost wonder. And hope. They can't see past what is illuminated in front of them. They are afraid of the dark too."

"They have good reason to fear the dark." Jonghyun was too.

"But in the darkest of places, stars shine brighter." S walked across the street and Jonghyun followed her. 

"Makes sense." 


	10. Lost Sisters : K

Jonghyun was excited to see them. They were bubbly and very lovely women and he has missed them terribly while he was away. 

S stopped in front of a very tall condo and Jonghyun was about to float up when S stopped him. "Wait here," she said. 

"I thought we were going to go and see Jessica."

"Jessica doesn't live here." 

"So Tal lives here?"

"Just wait." 

"You are being picky with details again."

"I said wait." 

Jonghyun was nervously waiting and S wanted to knock him out so he would stop pacing back and forth. 

An ambulance stopped in front of the building and paramedics rushed into the condo. Jonghyun was alarmed. 

"Did something happen to them?"

"Don't move and wait here." S held him back by his arm. He was unsure how S was so strong. 

Jonghyun could hear the paramedics trying to keep stop the bleeding and administering the blood transfusion transporting the woman in the stretcher. Jonghyun felt the air around him grow cold when he saw Soo-jung's pale face. 

"Tal!" Jonghyun flew into the ambulance and S didn't have a choice but to follow him there. "Oh my dear sweet girl, what is happening?" Jonghyun saw the blood was on her legs and there was a large stain on her nightgown. He covered his mouth with his hand and muffled a series of Oh my God. 

They reached the hospital and there was a chaos of activity in there. Jonghyun followed all the way to the treatment room and saw Soo-jung gain some level of consciousness. But when she came to she went into panic. "My baby, please save my baby. Save my baby, save me baby!" She had to be held down. Jonghyun whispered to her ear, "It's going to be alright, baby girl. Your baby is going to be fine."

"That's a lie. Don't lie." Jonghyun looked at S who was now holding a baby in her arms. She was receiving a lot of energy from around her so S looked like she was in horror movie rather than in a hospital in broad daylight. 

"Is that? Is that the baby? Oh my God." Jonghyun stroked Soo-jung's sweat-matted hair. She was crying but the medication they put on her was slowly calming her down. She was drifting off to sleep while muttering to anyone to save her baby. 

Another light came into view and Jonghyun saw a tall man reaching for the baby that S was holding. "No! Please don't!" Jonghyun took the baby and kept the other angel at bay. 

"New messenger, right? Angels call me Thanatos." He reached out both hands and said, "You have to give the baby up for now. He's not meant to stay for very long here. Don't worry about him, he'll be reborn soon." Jonghyun's vision was getting clouded by tears. 

"But why does he need to die without being born? It's not fair."

"An angel doesn't determine what is fair and what is not fair. We only follow God's plan. If a human will it to change, they have to take it up with him. Our job, my job is to assist those who passed and to take them where they need to go." Jonghyun remembered the angel who guided him to Heaven too. She was chatty and travelled with him before he went up. This one was more dementor than guide, minus the grim reaper robes. He was wearing a white suit and was terribly out of place in a hospital.

"Can't the baby just hang on and wait to be born in a few months? Soo-jung would make a wonderful mother." Jonghyun begged. He looked up, as if asking God to let the baby stay, "Please. Please let him live. Just this once."

S wiped a rouge tear and spoke up, "It doesn't work like that, J. Give Thanatos the baby."

"You said that if I know the name of an angel then he can grant me a divine intervention. This is the divine intervention that I ask of you Thanatos. Let this baby stay with Soo-jung and let the baby be born as her son." 

They heard chimes and voices singing and Thanatos smiled, "You are as compassionate as I expected you to be. I shall grant you this wish if it is truly what you want to use that for. Remember that you can't take it back nor can you gain another one like this from me." 

"Take it back, J. Don't throw that chance away so easily." S was trying to convince him to change his mind. 

"My mission is to give a message of hope for her, this is my way." Thanatos touched the forehead of the baby and he disappeared in Jonghyun's arms. He saw a blue light come into Soo-jung's body and the fetal monitor started to grow louder. The nurse gasped that it was a miracle and the doctor worked fast to check Soo-jung's own vitals. 

They cleaned her up and she was escorted to the intensive care unit in the maternity wing. Jonghyun smiled when he saw that she was in her bed, breathing mostly on her own. 

"Thank God." he whispered. 

"I am afraid that S might owe you an I told you so later." Thanatos patted Jonghyun's right shoulder. "But my work here is done. You two try not to bicker too much."

"Thank you so much for your help." Jonghyun bowed at the angel out of habit. 

"Don't thank me yet, the choice you made is classified as a miracle. But not all miracles would have a positive effect on a person's life. Losing her baby might just have been what Soo-jung needed in her life. And you made her loose that chance." Jonghyun was confused. 

"You have much to learn, Jonghyun." Thanatos disappeared as fast as he appeared. 

"I thought he was a dry one but it seems like he's a nice angel." 

"He's not an angel...not exactly." S corrected him. 

"Then what is he?"

"He's Thanatos, he is the personification of death. People used to think that he is a demi-god or something. Greeks named him. But basically he's death in a more human-like form that people and heavenly creatures can see." S looked at Soo-jung and sighed. "So her baby has been literally touched by death. And that is all your fault."

Jonghyun was confused. "But the baby is alive and going to be born, right?"

"Yes, he will. Your wish for divine intervention made sure of that. But we can't know for sure if he is fortunate to have that chance."

"Is the baby going to be deformed or something?"

"Not physically. But his soul was torn from his physical form at a very vulnerable time. He was dying then dead but now he's alive again. That baby would either be like your friend who can hear angels or he might be attractive to darker forces. If you catch my drift." Jonghyun was suddenly very worried. 

"But he could be one of the lucky ones and grow up to be unbelievably normal. It's up to God not us." S faced him and pulled at Jonghyun's ear. "But if you ever interfere with another angel or entity's job ever again, I will report you so that you get your wings revoked. Capisce?" 

"Roger." Jonghyun knew S was worried about the future. But the present is something that Jonghyun never cared for. He constantly worried about the future when he was still among the people he loved. He did his best to try not to. But it was so difficult for him then. He wanted to help Soo-jung now and not later. Because it was all that he can do for her now. 

He stayed with Soo-jung and watched her sleep. He didn't want to visit her in her dreams because she's already had a taxing day. He wondered where her family was and even her husband. 

"She doesn't have one." S spoke up next to him. 

"What do you mean?"

"She doesn't have a husband. Her parents passed away already. Her sister is not here." 

"Where's Jessica?" Jonghyun damned his lack of time to check on everyone in his life before even though he promised to take care of them even after he left. 

"She'll probably be on the plane back now. Someone should have called her by now." 

"Who's the father of the baby?" Jonghyun's question was answered by the door opening and spitting out Suho. 

"Suho?" Jonghyun was shocked. "When did they start? That's unexpected." 

Suho sat next to Krystal and whispered, "He's coming. I called him. He's on the first flight out of Beijing. I will kill him when he gets here. But still, he's coming. Hang on Soo-jung." 

Jonghyun faced S and growled, "Take me to Kai. Now." S took his hand and walked through the glass door. When they got to the other side they were at the Incheon airport. 

He faced S and asked, "Is there a way to punch a human in this form?" 

S shook her head. "Against the rules, sorry."

"Crap. I wish there was a way."

"There is, but I am not telling you that, duh." Jonghyun narrowed his eyes at S. 

"You are so helpful, you know that?"

S raised at eyebrow at him. "It's your wings, buster." Jonghyun let out a snarl and sat down on the airport floor. 

"If he just left, it would take a couple of hours to get here."

"That was ten years ago." S said. "He's coming out now." Hordes of fans alerted them of his arrival. 

"Daebak." Jonghyun was momentarily impressed that flights were now very short. 

"He didn't fly in. He beamed in." Jonghyun wanted S to explain it but there were more pressing things to do. 

Jonghyun whispered at a tall fanboy and told him, "Punch him now." The fan walked away from the group and went up to Kai and said, "This is for Krystal!" He landed a good right jab at Kai's face. Security scrambled to take the guy away and S just shook her head. 

"Serves you right." Jonghyun looked down at Kai who was on the floor nursing a bruised jaw. "Wait til Suju and Suho gets their hands on you. They will tear you apart." 

"They can't do anything to him."

"What are you talking about?"

"SUJU and EXO members are banned from hurting him or harassing him. The restraining order doesn't limit them being near each other but they can't even shake his hand. They aren't allowed to touch him."

"What are you talking about?"

"Kai's company doesn't allow any of it."

"Isn't he with SME?" Jonghyun asked. 

"Not for the last eight years, he hasn't. It's in his restraining order than no one in SME is allowed to contact him or touch him."

"Then how in God's name was he able to get Soo-jung pregnant?"

"She isn't in SME anymore. She left to be with him. But he left her here to work in China."

"I need to punch him again." Jonghyun looked around for another person to whisper to. 

"J, your wings." Jonghyun looked at the tips and saw that some of the feathers have turned black. "Stop it or all your feathers will turn." 

Jonghyun closed his eyes and thought of the people he was still wishing to see. The feathers started to lighten. The tips were now gray, not fully white again. 

"Stop doing things that are not part of your mission and your nature. There are consequences for all of those actions." 

Jonghyun faced S and said, "Soo-jung is worth it." 


	11. Lost Sister : J

Jessica felt the chill coming back to Seoul. She's been away and hadn't wanted to come back in a very long time. And now she was back because her sister is in the hospital. 

Is she even going to let me see her? 

"What is going on? They have always been very close. What happened to them?" Aware than ten years is a very long time, Jonghyun asked S for context. 

S made a slashing move and Jonghyun was surprised that there was a slit through the scene in front of them. S walked through the slit and Jonghyun carefully followed. 

They were inside the training center for SM and Jonghyun saw a door slightly open. He could hear people arguing inside. 

"Where are you going? Are you really leaving me here?" It was Krystal aka Soo-jung. 

"You know I can't keep working like this. I am EXO but not EXO. It doesn't make sense for me to put up with this level of disrespect." Jonghyun walked into the room and saw Kai stiffly sitting next to a standing Soo-jung. She had her hands on her waist as she paced in front of Kai aka Jongin. 

"You can't leave me here. I won't survive without you." She was pleading with him. Jonghyun wanted to grab at Jongin. S didn't stop him this time. But when he tried to grab Jongin's shoulder, his hand just went through the person.

What the heck was that?

S answered for him. "Think of this as watching the past in 4D. You can't touch them and they can't see you. Everything has already happened. Angels can't change the past." 

What Jonghyun would do with that skill right now. 

S pulled him through another slit in the air and they ended up at someone's dining room. 

"You are giving up your contract for a guy?" Jessica's voice pierced through the house. "Are you out of your mind?" 

Soo-jung answered back, "You can do it but I can't?" 

"You saw what happened to me when I followed my heart! I got used and abused and now I am broke, single and stuck!" 

"You forget to mention single mom." Soo-jung knew that it was a button she could press. Jessica didn't even flinch. 

"My daughter is not a mistake and I would never consider her as one. But you, what you are about to do is going to ruin all the patient years you put aside for your career. Jongin is a good guy but no guy is worth risking everything for." 

"Jongin is." 

Jonghyun and S came back to the airport after walking through another slit. 

He saw Jessica walking with a girl who looked a lot like Soo-jung. Genes don't betray in the Jung's. Jonghyun wondered what her name was when Jessica called out to the girl who was on her phone. "Eun-kyung, get off your phone and hurry up." The girl quickly put her phone into her jacket pocket. 

"Trust Jessica to call her daugher a precious gem." Jonghyun was hopeful because whatever the problem must be between Krystal and Jessica might be, a precious gem of a girl was sure to be a reason to make up. 


	12. We are Sisters

Soo-jung was sleeping when Jessica came in to see her. Jessica couldn't help but cry when she saw her sister's sorry state. She had flashbacks of her painful past and it was mixing with the image of her sister lying on the hospital bed looking unlike any woman who should be blooming with infanticipation. 

A bowed head next to her on the bed looked up and Jessica's rage blew at the sight of him, "How dare you come here?" She hissed at him more than she could whisper. She didn't want to wake Soo-jung up. 

Jongin bowed to greet her and asked her to come out. Jessica refused to move and just looked at her sister. "Look at what you did to my precious sister. You ruined her career and her life. Now she's going to be just like me. She would have to leave from here and abandon all her hardwork because you got her pregnant." She hit Jongin in the chest, unable to stop her tears, "Do you know what you've done to her? And for what? For love? Fuck you and your love. You ruined her life. Then you left her. For what?" She hit him again. "For your career. For you to still be famous somewhere. You ruined her." 

Jongin got on his knees and cried softly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't know."

"Your ignorance doesn't excuse your actions. You made her come to you. You ended f(x) because you took her from SM. And you dated her only for your convenience. You didn't think about her when you signed up for that agency. They didn't want her but she signed with them and they just threw her into roles that were not helping her at all. And then you get shipped to China and for what? To earn more money? For what? Your future?" Jessica pulled him up by the collar. 

"I fucking know you were dating another woman while you were there." Jessica wanted to beat the crap out of him but she knew better. Monsters like him didn't care about the women in their lives. 

"It was all fake...it was just to promote my movie..." Jongin tried to explain. Jessica understood that he was just following what his agency asked him to do. 

"You left the manipulation of SME just to be a slave to another agency. You should have just stayed and suffered there."

"The contract I signed, I thought it was protecting me. But the truth was that they were cutting me off from everyone else I can ask help from if I wanted out." Jongin cried. "I wanted to come home but I couldn't. I couldn't so I just asked Soo-jung to break up because I can't protect her." 

Jessica slapped him this time, "You never should have loved her if you weren't ready to give up your life for her. Even when she had to give up everything, do you know what Soo-jung kept saying?" 

Jongin looked up with the eyes of a broken man. Jessica faced him, eyes on fire and ready to burn him. "She kept saying that you were worth it." When Jessica let go of his collar he fell back on the floor and he was on all fours crying. 

"You weak, disgusting man. You might have millions of fans but you failed to protect that one person willing to die for you. And she did. My sister died because of you. The Krystal that lived to be in the spotlight, to love her fans and to get better at every project that she is a part of, she died. The world lost a talented group because of you. They lost a talented actress because of you. And now, even her reputation will be in tatters because of you. Just because of you. And you are not even worth it!" 

Jessica wanted to kick him but she heard someone saying, "Stop..." It was very raspy voice, a familiar voice. She looked at her sister who was now awake and rushed to her side. 

"Eonnie..." Jessica wanted to break down but she couldn't. She didn't have the luxury of tears right now. She had to be strong for her sister. 

Jonghyun whispered to Jessica's ear. "You don't have to be rough to love her again. Just forgive each other. Ask for forgiveness and you will have love again." 

Jessica kissed Soo-jung's hand. "I'm sorry. I am really sorry that I left you." 

Soo-jung touched her stomach and Jessica nodded. "Your baby is strong and healthy. Don't worry. You're both going to be okay." 

"I missed...you." Jessica wiped her sister's tears. Soo-jung mouthed me too. "Let's get better as soon as possible. Then let's move to L.A. together. Your baby and my Eun-ji can grow up together as sisters too. And we can teach music there and dance. Then you can have a new life. And you can see Amber more often." Soo-jung's former bandmate Amber was already an actress, Youtube influencer and performer in America. 

"Can I sign in your label?" Soo-jung teased her sister. Jessica had started her own label and Amber was under her label now. It wasn't as big as the other companies but they were able to do well for themselves. She handled some online stars and former SM artists like Amber and Henry. They did music, promotion, fan events and concerts. All the artists also do Asian and US indie and mainstream movies. Jessica signed people under the promise that the artist can handle their musical and artistic direction. She provided them with training and guidance and so far the freedoms are returned with revenue and trust. Because she trusted them, they were more confident in their choices. And if they made a mistake with their choices, they were able to own up to it. Years of not having a choice in her own artistic direction made Jessica a fierce champion of artistic freedom. 

"Of course you can. But you have to be a hardworker." Jessica teased her. "You can only hire staff once you make it big again." She mentioned again since f(x) was a force in KPOP for some time. If not for SME burrying the group for a newer one, they would have been able to make more money together than separately. 

Soo-jung noticed Kai and she looked confused that he was there. Jessica saw her sister's gaze soften when he came to the other side and sat next to her. He held her hand and kissed it. He rested his cheek on her open palm and Soo-jung seemed to be accepting him. 

Soo-jung pulled her hand from Jessica's grip and landed a loud slap on Jongin's face. "What the fuck do you think you are doing here, you piece of shit?" 

Jessica had to laugh because she was wrong. Her sister, Chrystal Soo Jung was not dead. Maybe being a mother woke up the old her. 

"I'm sorry. I won't leave anymore. I promise."

"Shove your promise up your ass. Get the fuck out of this place. I won't even let you sign on the birth certificate of this baby. Just get the fuck out of here. I want to throw up whenever I see you." 

"I think that's just morning sickness." Jongin was already stepping away because Krystal grabbed a plastic cup and was aiming it at him. "Please give me another chance."

"I gave you a million chances, you dick." She finally threw the cup and it hit him in the crotch making him whine in pain. "Get out before I aim something harder at your tiny pecker, you asshole." 

Jongin walked without turning his back on them. He bowed before he left, "I'll be back later."

"Don't fucking come back." Jessica had to hold Soo-jung down. 

"Calm down, your baby would get stressed out." Jessica placed her hand on her sister's tummy. 

Soo-jung did the same then looked at Jessica with a smile. "Was it the same for you? When you realized that Eun-ji only had you and you only had Eun-ji? Did it make you want to kick everyone who wanted to hurt the two of you?"

Jessica nodded. "Gosh. I was worried for nothing. I thought you were broken."

"What are you talking about, we are sisters after all." Soo-jung's smile gave a bit of flush color on her cheeks. "I wish mom and dad were here. They would've been excited to have so many grandkids." 

"You betcha. When you get better, let's visit them when it's not too cold." 

Jonghyun touched Soo-jung and Jessica's shoulders. "You did well, ladies." 

S spoke up, "It's not over yet." She showed the notebook, the badge haven't appeared and the next mission was still a blank page. 

Jonghyun looked at her, baffled by her unspoken threat. "Isn't that thing broken or something?"

S got a call. "Got it. Okay." She just kept making affirming noises and so Jonghyun couldn't figure out what they were talking about. 

"They've regained their love and trust but your mission is a message of hope. It's not yet over." 

"What else is there? They're moving on, what else is more hopeful than that?" It wasn't making any sense for Jonghyun. 

"Your idea of hope and the hope that Soo-jung represents are different." S was being mysterious again and it was really irksome. "We are done here. But the rest of the mission for Soo-jung leads away from here."

"I want to stay. I want to watch over them."

"J, you are not a guardian angel. You are a messenger. You can't stay where you are not needed. So come on." S walked out of the room. 

"I had a dream that Jonghyun oppa was here. He punched Kai at the airport. It was so funny." Soo-jung's story stopped Jonghyun in his tracks. 

"Well if he was here Jongin would be dead years ago. He would get Suju and Shinee to help him bury the body and make one trainee get plastic surgery and pretend to be Kai." Jessica's morbid idea made Jonghyun laugh. 

It was true, he would have done anything to prevent the suffering of the Jung sisters. If he hadn't left would he have been able to be there for them? Would he have been able to stop all the pain from ever even happening? Was this the future that his choices made?

Jonghyun knew that he couldn't change the past and this present. He just needed to complete this mission so he could make up for them, for leaving them behind. 

It was his choice. It was his life. He just didn't know that his departure would also affect the way other people's lives would play out. 


	13. We Are Our Choices

Jessica and Krystal were sitting next to each other and the press were getting ready to ask them their pointed questions. The sisters agreed to do a press conference and announce very important things. 

"Thank you all for being here today." Jonghyun's heart was already briming with pride. His little sisters were so beautiful and fiercely loyal of each other. And they were in front of piranhas. But they were so regal in their confidence. He stood behind Krystal to lend her his strength. S was watching from behind the reporters who were oozing with greed and nervous energy. She was feeding, Jonghyun could see it. He shook his head but figured being his guide was exhausting. 

"As of today, Krystal Jung will be a part of Jung Entertainment as both a talent and a shareholder." Jessica held Krystal's hand over the table. They both smiled at the press as she continued. "We hope to work together to do many new projects together as soon as her health allows her to do so."

Krystal picked up her sister's cue and spoke up, "I will be taking at least a year off from my active activities. I need to take care of myself and prepare for my future responsibilities." She beamed at the camera and continued, "In a few months, there would be another Jung in our family." 

The reporters started to raise their hands for their questions. "The rumors about you having  baby with a rich man, is that true?" There were nasty rumors that Krystal was a mistress of a rich conglomerate owner. The Knetizens outdid themselves this time. 

"My baby's dad does earn quite a bit. But as far as I know, he owns buildings and not a big company." Krystal didn't elude to what her baby's dad's job was prompting more questions. 

"There are so many rumors as to who the father of your baby is, many suggesting that it might be an idol from your former company or SM. Wouldn't you want to clear the air and just come out with the truth?"

"Raising my baby would be my responsibility. My sister is just here to help me out. If he chooses to help out, I won't stop him."

"But Krystal, who is it? Videos of Suho from EXO came out when you were rushed to the hospital, is he the father of your baby?" Krystal felt a bit uncomfortable because the reporters were briefed that she wasn't going to accept questions that named names.

"I'm sorry but we already told you that we won't fuel any rumors and that the person you are asking about isn't here to answer any of your questions. Next question, please." Jessica swiftly evaded the question for Krystal. 

"I have a question." A booming familiar voice spoke out from the back. S turned around to see him. Jonghyun smirked. About damn time. 

Krystal stood up to check who it was. Jessica gasped when she realized who it was. "Jongin..." 

"I have a question." He repeated. "May I ask it?" 

Jessica was instinctively moving Krystal off the stage and was about to whisk her away when Jongin called out, "Will you marry me?" 

Krystal stopped in her tracks and faced the reporters who were not pointing cameras at her and Jongin. She was shocked for a moment and then squared her shoulders proudly. "Not if you just want to save face." With that she walked out of the conference room and Jongin was left to fend off the reporters. He tried to walk towards the exit that the Jungs used but security stopped him from going in. 

He faced the reporters and bowed to them, "Please help me. Don't write bad things about my baby and Krystal." That was enough for him to make all of them change their article titles. 

=+=

Jonghyun watched as Jessica called and yelled at someone on the phone. "What kind of security are you giving us? Why was that guy at the conference hall?" She was upset because Krystal was now crying. They were rushed to the car and Krystal cried freely when they were already in the tinted car. Reporters were still outside, trying to follow their car with their long lenses. A drone was following them and Jessica wished she had her gun with her to shoot the darn thing out of the sky. 

"It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay." Jessica hugged Krystal. 

Jessica's phone rang and she saw Taeyeon's name register. Years after SNSD and their fall-out was healed by time. And she only had her sisters to help her now. "Tae, help me." 

Taeyeon told her to ask the driver to bring Krystal to her place. Jessica gave the address to the driver and asked him to drive as carefully but as fast as possible to Taeyeon's house. 

It was a big house with tall walls that covered the whole house. It was tall enough for privacy even in the city. Jessica smiled as their car was ushered in through an electronic gate. She reminded herself that she needed something like that when she established a place in Korea someday. "This place is huge." Taeyeon's family did invest her earnings well and that helped her friend remain in this luxury even after she decided that SNSD and SM were all behind her. 

Taeyeon put her money on business ventures and fashion lines that did really well. Jessica and her worked together in launching several lines of Jessica's brand in Korea. Their renewed friendship with all the members of SNSD were very profitable. Although they no longer did music together, their fans bought up anything that they put out as a sign of their love and support, post SNSD. 

Jonghyun wanted to hug Taeyeon as soon as he saw her. She was still youthful but more mature in the way that she carried herself. There was always that tinge of loneliness in Taeyeon's voice when she spoke. It was something that was familiar for Jonghyun. 

"Come here, lemme give you a hug." Taeyeon welcomed Krystal with open arms. The younger woman let herself go in her sister's friend's arms. "I am going to have to sue that Jongin for making you cry in your condition." 

Other SNSD members were in Taeyeon's living room when Jessica and Krystal arrived, Jonghyun was glad to see all of them there. "So how are we going to crush EXO for letting this happen?" Sunny teased Krystal. 

"EXO has nothing to do with this!" She chirped out. 

"I wish that Suho was the baby daddy. I wouldn't worry. That kid's family is loaded and he is just an honest young man." Tiffany voiced out. 

"Not unlike your ex-boyfriend, right Tae-eunnie?" Yoona asked Taeyeon. 

"Leave Baekhyun out of this." Taeyeon snapped at Yoona who just laughed. 

"Oh, maybe he isn't such an ex after all." Seohyun tag-teamed Taeyeon with Yoona. The two high-fived. 

"Can we please focus on the issue here?"  Hyoyeon had her hands on her hips. "How are we going to hide Kai's body after I murder him with my own fingers," she showed everyone her red nails. They were long enough to cause some serious damage. 

"Down, girl!" Yuri put down Hyoyeon's hands. "We can't commit a crime just because we want to bury that idiot six feet under."

"I vote to let his fans do that. Once they abandon him, then there won't be anything left of his career to salvage." Sooyoung knew that boyband fans were worse than girl group fans. The sasaeng levels were just too different. 

"I don't want him to loose everything..." Krystal's comment made all the femme fatale in the room look at her. "I want him to be able to afford child support if I ever needed him to pay for something, like university tuition or something." She was practical even if the whole thing was messing her up. 

"We can vouch for your kid's tuition fee. No need for that rat to have anything to do with raising your baby. It's 2028 now dearie. Men are just sperm donors at this point." Taeyeon's statement gained approval from the rest. 

Jessica was quieter than the rest. "What do you say, big sis?" 

Jonghyun whispered to Jessica's ear. Talk to him then decide. "I think we need to talk to Jongin before we decide if you want him in your life and your baby's life. Or if we would let your other sisters chop him up and feed him to their dogs." Krystal was worried that her sister was serious about her last statement. 

"Okay. Does anyone know his number?" Krystal asked them. 

"How in God's name did you get a bun in the oven if you don't have his mobile number?" Sunny was dumbfounded. 

"He uses his manager's phone. He technically doesn't have a phone. He uses a camera and a tablet most of the time." 

Tiffany dialed Suho's phone number. "Jungmyeon, do you have Jongin's number?" The rest of them waited for her to get an answer. 

"Noona, he doesn't have one really. But I can send you his manager's number if you like." Tiffany asked him for that and Jungmyeon sent it to her as a contact number. "Thanks, dear. Laters." 

Jessica called that number and got a rough sounding Korean on the other line, "Sorry but we are not accepting interviews." The line was almost cut but Jessica was quick. 

"Jessica Jung for Kim Jongin, please." She repeated her request in Korean as well. A few seconds later Jongin was on the phone. 

"Noona, it's Jongin. Is Soo-jung okay?"

"She's five months pregnant and barely showing. So no, she's not okay, you dimwit." Jessica couldn't help it. The rest of SNSD wanted to say something too but they kept it in since Jessica was on speakerphone. 

"Can I talk to her? Please just, even just for a minute please?" Jongin didn't know he was on speakerphone. 

"And what other stupid thing would you ask her apart from your carefully orchestrated proposal?" Jessica was still pissed off about that. It was right out of the pages of a drama. And Kim Jongin was an excellent actor. 

"It wasn't...I wasn't supposed to say that. It's just that my mind went to the one thing I was thinking about since I found out she was pregnant." Krystal's face was twisted in suppressed tears. 

Jonghyun held her from behind in a comforting hug, Just listen with your heart not with your hurt feelings.

"I wanted to ask her if she still loved me. But it was too scary and I just saw all white and just blurted that out."

"So you don't really want to marry her?"

"I do! I really want to marry her. But I didn't have enough saved up but I do. I have a house that I bought for us here and one in Shanghai." Jongin's declaration was that of a man desperate to show his sincerity. "But I was saving up for our wedding. She broke up with me because I was so busy. But I thought that if I just showed her later...later when I was worth it, I would change her mind and make her love me back again." Jongin was crying now. "I didn't know. I didn't know she was...I didn't know she was doing it on her own. I missed everything. I missed everything...I'm sorry. Noona, please tell Soo-jung that I'd do anything for her to forgive me please."

Soft sniffles could be heard around Krystal and Jonghyun had to smile. These girls were still such softies. Everyone is, he figured, when it comes to a man who is obviously in love. You can take the feels out of the lady but the lady would always be rooting for love. 

"You handle it from your side. I will handle it from Krystal's side. You can come over here and let's plan this out. I'll send you Tae's address. Bring your family." Jessica gave the ultimatum. "And get a darn smartphone, you are a grown ass man." The rest chuckled at that very Jessica ending of their conversation. 

"Yes, Noona. Tell Soo-jung I miss her. And I love her. And that I am not letting her run away this time." Jongin's voice was a bit clearer and more confident after getting Jessica's instructions. 

"Shut up and just get here already." Krystal tapped the cancel button before Jongin could say anything. 

Jonghyun smirked as he shook his head. Sisters. 


	14. We are One

Jongin was in the office of the CEO of his agency. He had his manager flanking him and he felt like he was going to have to do something drastic to get out. He was on his way to picking up his parents to go to Taeyeon's house. But his manager said that the CEO wanted to talk to him first. 

When the CEO walked in, Jongin swore his manager tensed up and the collective temperature of the room just dropped. He was wrong when he first thought this man was someone who could help him become the artist that he was supposed to be. He came out of a slave contract with SME to a submissive contract in this agency. It had so many perks and so few restrictions in his own actions that he didn't realize that he was being manipulated. Everything was conditional. He even won the case for his stage name and his musical freedom from SME. He didn't know that LOEN would actually crush everything else. 

They were bigger and more influential, that's what he found out later on. But that was all done to make it seem like they were not actively crushing the souls out of their artists and employees. He was told that not having a mobile phone was safer and his manager always made his office phone available to Jongin. He even lived with Jongin in China and in Korea. All his calls were filtered and his social media was monitored. They didn't take down anything but they alerted him of any attack and if there were too many negative comments, they were authorized to block antis. But if they were fans, Jongin was allowed to talk to them. He was more careful of his social media and was more reclusive after some time. He was not allowed to collaborate with anyone in SME and they were not allowed to touch him in public because it caused his fans and their fans to fight. They painted it in a way that it was all about keeping him safe. And he did feel safe, but very very lonely. 

There was only Krystal with him. And he thought of only her and their future. So he didn't care if he got a hurtful message from Chanyeol that he has abandoned them completely or that Jungmyeon frequently texted him to at least do a hologram call so they could see how he was doing. All the correspondence were done in secret so fans wouldn't know. They didn't even take photos together. And he later found out that LOEN had e-mailed or sent messages to fansites to not post any videos or photos of him interacting with anyone outside of LOEN especially if it was someone from his old entertainment. They used the reason of security against the aggressive netizens and local fans of EXO to push their point. Soon all photos and videos of him with EXO were wiped from the fansites and fans were not encouraged to take any photos of them. The media, should they make that mistake, would also get a legal letter from LOEN to take those kinds of content off their portals and sites. Social media showed that Kai was doing well on his own. And he was, but the truth was that he was lonely and overworked. 

They disregarded Krystal's contract and hadn't renewed it. They kept this from him until the news about her pregnancy broke out. He felt like throwing his tablet against the wall when he read the news article where LOEN basically washed themselves clean of any responsibility about Krystal's so-called scandal. 

Krystal Jung has been a part of our family but she chose not to renew her contract four months ago. She had been aware of her condition but did not inform any of the management or staff. We would have been more than willing to give her support during the difficult time she was going through had she been willing to tell us the truth. We do not interfere with the personal lives of our artists as we believe that being an idol or an artist already puts a lot of pressure on their mental health. LOEN wishes that Krystal could have stayed with us. But if in the future she is willing to re-sign with us, we would welcome her with open arms.

Jongin knew that was a bunch of crap. During his time in LOEN, he saw trainees drop off like flies faster than they did in SME. It was a terrible experience for some of them and other female trainees got knocked up by other male trainees and were asked to get an abortion. So even before they get  chance to have  debut slot, they were already carrying a dark stain in their reputation. So they were too afraid to leave unless when they were dropped from the training program for being too fat or slow to learn or simply because they were depressed. But who wouldn't be if you've been physically, mentally and emotionally abused by people who were forcing you to be perfect?

"After Jonghyun-hyung's death, everything changed here. Not all at once. After you left, the effects became more visible and real. The managers who hurt fans or had negative attitudes were removed. The staff members were shuffled and re-trained. The artists went through mental and physical health evaluations. They hired nutritionists and three in-house therapists." Suho told him. "You should have stayed. They ask Chanyeol to make songs for EXO now. Our new title track was something Chen and Chanyeol put together." 

Jongin clenched his fists when the CEO sat back and asked him, "What the heck where you thinking proposing to that woman on live broadcast?" Jongin didn't even want to explain himself to the man. He was just vile. He heard that IU, his wife, had left him not long ago and she was still in hiding from him. His manager let it slip that she took off with another man because the CEO was abusing her. 

Why is he even the CEO? This monster should be chained up somewhere. 

"How are you going to take responsibility for this?" The CEO snarled at him. 

"I'm on my way to meet up with her with my family. We are getting married." His head was bowed low. "I'll take responsibility of her and our baby."

The loud bang on the table startled him. "Fuck your baby and fuck that bitch! I meant our stocks are going down because of this blasted fucking scandal." Jongin looked up at him incredulously. Was he even a human being? He's worried about stock prices right now?

"You should have kept your fucking mouth shut and let one of those SME fuckers take responsibility publicly. Shit, Jongin you are smarter than this. Don't be a fucking sap." 

Jongin stood up and bowed, "I am sorry for causing any trouble." Then he straightened his back, "But if you call my future wife and my child anything unpleasant one more time, I will make sure you regret it." 

"And what makes you think that I won't? Women are dispensible. You don't even need one to be the best in this industry and now you are letting her drag you down? You are letting her drag my company down!" Jongin's anger was just about to burst out. 

"I will send you the paperwork. I am canceling my contract with LOEN." He knew it was the right thing to do. For both the company and his sake. Fuck the consequences. 

"Do you even know how much money you have to pay us for damages?" the CEO was obviously threatening him, "Do you think you can even afford that?" 

"Even if I have to sell everything I own, I won't be staying here. I've had enough of your mind games and your shit management." Jongin faced him square off. "I'd pray that you get your karma. If you haven't gotten it already," he smirked. "I am sure I would be as happy as IU sunbaenim once I have washed LOEN off of me." 

That pushed a very sensitive button and the CEO punched him in the face and pushed him down and kicked him while he was on the floor. Jongin could have defended himself but he didn't. He knew that if he did his manager would get hit. Like he did before whenever there was an issue with his fans or with Krystal. His manager tried to stop the CEO but was pushed back and kicked too. 

When the CEO's anger diminished and he was panting from all the kicking and screaming that he did, he called for security to take Jongin away from the building. He was dumped outside of a hospital's ER and was quickly escorted by the nurses inside. 

He woke up to chattering near him. He thought that the ER was far too noisy for him and he tried to open his eyes. 

He saw a familiar face that he knew he shouldn't be seeing. "Am I dead?" He asked Jonghyun. "Are you here to take me with you?" He must have hit his head and died to be seeing Kim Jonghyun hovering over him. 

"Krystal is out of her mind from worry. You didn't get to buy a new phone yet so they can't reach you." Jonghyun sat next to his bed and fixed the hair that was matted on his forehead. 

"Soo-jung- ah, God~!" he wanted to curse because his ribs hurt like hell. Jonghyun made his lie back slowly. 

"You idiot. Why didn't you fight back?" Jonghyun looked visibly upset. 

"If I did then he would say that all of this is self-defense." Jongin already knew a case of a manager who punched the CEO back once. He went to jail for assault eventhough he was in the hospital for a month from all the punches and kicks he got. LOEN made it appear as if he was hurt by security because they were trying to defend the CEO. But each broken bone and bloody wound or bruise was inflicted by the CEO. 

"That sick bastard really needs to get hung or shot by a firing squad or something." Jonghyun's anger made Jongin smiled. "What are you smiling about?"

"Are you visiting me right now because of Krystal?" Jonghyun smiled at him then nodded. "God, if you were here then I wouldn't have been such a dumbass towards her."

"You have a one-track mind, that's all. That's a good thing and a very bad thing about you." Jonghyun sighed. "Sometimes...sometimes we get blinded by our need to do something that we forget the reason why we are doing it in the first place." 

"Do you mind if we name our kid after you?" Jongin offered. Jonghyun shook his head. "Why not?"

"I don't want to put a story in a life that hasn't even started yet. Let your kid have his own story." 

"So we are having a boy?" Jongin was delighted with the news. 

"Why do I feel like I am in the Annunciation right now?" Jonghyun joked. He didn't know if Kai even knew what that was. 

"Sunbaenim..." Jongin looked at him with longing, "do you think I am good enough for Soo-jung?"

"Even if you weren't, all you can do is try." Jonghyun stroked his head lightly. "Love is all about trying. Sometimes we do the right thing, sometimes we do something that can hurt the ones we love." 

"What should I do now?" Jongin asked. 

"For starters, open your eyes Kim Jongin." Jonghyun's voice faded as Jongin felt the noise around him die down and get replaced by conversations. 

It was noisy in the suite and for good reason. Xiumin, Jungmyeon, Jongdae, Yixing, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, and Se-hun were all whispering at the same time. It was no use to whisper when seven people are doing it at the same time. 

"Why did this kid get this hurt? What's the use of having choco abs if you aren't going to use your muscles?" The usually calm Jongdae was whispering hoarsely. Being part of the crybaby crew in EXO, Jongin was sure his hyung cried from frustration. 

"When he wakes up I am going to poke all his wounds to remind him to cover his face at least. Look at his face!" Baekhyun's suddenly loud whisper earned a collective shhh from everyone else. 

Jongin wanted to laugh but his ribs hurt and his laugh came out as a grunt.

"I think he's coming around." Jungmyeon spoke in a normal volume and tried to coax Jongin to go back to sleep. "Get more rest, we'll take care of everything while you're resting." 

Jongin mouthed We are One which made the rest of them smile. "You bet your perky ass we are." The voice was Tao's. 

"Now, go back to sleep." It was Kris hyung's voice. 

"We'll bury that CEO somewhere no one can find him when we are done with him." It was the sweet voice of Luhan, threatening bodily harm to someone unsuspecting. 

Jongin cried and it hurt to breath. But he wouldn't have traded that moment for any Daesang receiving moment. He was going to be a father. His brothers were by his side. And best of all, when he gets out of bed, he was going to buy the latest hologram phone. 

This dork. Jonghyun read his mind and smiled. 

He looked a the guys around Jongin's bed made him remember his own brothers.

Jinki, Kibum, Minho, and Tae-min where in the same room as him, or his body to be exact. Jin-ki was bawling and calling out for him, asking him why to an already obvious question. Ki-bum was holding a near-fainting Tae-min while Min-ho was already kneeling next to his body, comforting his sister. His mother was crying and was kneeling on the other side. His father was nowhere to be found. But he had a feeling he must be somewhere in the hospital, taking care of the paperwork. His father wouldn't have shown any emotions around him, not even at the time of his death. 

Jonghyun later saw him crying at the funeral, away from the eyes of everyone else muttering, "I'm sorry." repeatedly. Jonghyun didn't want to forgive him then. But his guide said that if he took his negative feelings about his father before he went up to heaven, he wouldn't be able to make it there. 

So he hugged his father and whispered to him, "In our next lives, let's be good to each other." 

Jonghyun was glad that EXO was able to see each other again, in a better situation than him and his brothers. We can lose our way but find each other again if the options are still open. Jonghyun wondered what became of his brothers. 

"Later." S answered his unspoken question.

Later. Jonghyun wondered how he would face them and their questions. He wished that they'd forgiven him for leaving them behind. He knew they loved him. But sometimes love wasn't enough. 


	15. The One with Tae-min

"Where is he? Where is he?" Jonghyun knew that voice. He looked at the man who just opened the door and was making a fuss. "Ya, Kim Jongin!" 

Taemin. Jonghyun was looking at the 34-year old Lee Tae-min. He felt his heart swell when he saw their maknae looking so mature and handsome. 

But some things never change. He was at Jongin's side, angrily crying after taking a look at his friend's whole body. He had tossed the blanket off and looked at everything. "Why are you like this? What the hell is wrong with you?" He was wiping his tears away. 

Jonghyun saw BTS's Jimin, Sung Woon, Moonkyu or Timoteo of HotShot, and Jung Kwon Ho come in after him. They all looked worried, some of them visibly wiping tears. 

"Ya, I'm not dead. Why are you crying like that?" Jongin teased Tae-min. 

Taemin flicked his forehead making Jongin cry out in pain. "You despicable selfish little fuck." Taemin hiccuped as he cried. "Don't you dare do this to me. You know...you know I hate hospitals." 

Jonghyun had to breathe in because the pang of pain and guilt hit him. Everyone was quiet after Taemin said that. Jonghyun went over to hug Taemin. I'm sorry, Taemin-ah. Hyung is sorry.


	16. Staking up the Odds

Jessica couldn't take it anymore. Soo-jung was going to go nuts at this point. She called Jongin's manager but the guy wasn't answering back. Suho's phone was unreachable too. It was busy then turned off. "I am going to cut those kids up into ribbons when I get my hands on them." 

Taeyeon stopped her from pacing, "Stop that, you are making me sick just following your around." She sighed and dialed someone's number. "Where is Suho?"

Everyone wondered who she called. Sunny told her to put the phone on speaker but Taeyeon gestured with her hands, shushing her. 

"What? Okay, sms me the name of the hospital." Taeyeon cleared her through then said, "Ilahyoto" 

"Did you just say I love you too?" Sunny grabbed Taeyeon's hands and called out to the person next to Taeyeon, "Grab her phone!" 

Yoona took the phone and pressed the redial button. She saw Bae on the screen and pressed the speakerphone button. "Babe, I texted you the hospital name. Why are you calling again? What time are you coming? I miss you. Jongin is so messed up." Baekhyun's tired but sweet voice broke all of their collective calms. 

"BABE?" Yoona shrieked then laughed. Taeyeon grabbed her phone. 

"Sorry, Yoona called." Taeyeon's voice was sweet and embarrased. 

"I guess cat's out of the bag...again. Hi, Yoona." 

"All of them are here." Taeyeon revealed to him.

Baekhyun let out a cough and muffled coughing could be heard. The girls laughed. "Even Jessica noona?" 

"Soojung too." 

"Ah. I see. Uhm, I am on speakerphone aren't I?"

"Yep." Taeyeon was full on blushing. 

"Right. Okay. Hello ladies and future EXO baby mommy."

"Jongin isn't in EXO anymore." Soojung pointed out. 

"Once an EXO, always an EXO." Baek's voice was full of affection. "Speaking of EXO, we got kicked out of Jongin's room coz his squad is here and there were too many people. Thank God we got him a two bed private room."

"Why the hell is Jongin in the hospital?" Soojung was really worried. "I should go see him."

"You can't. Reporters are everywhere. And we don't want you to see him right now. It'll be bad for the baby. He said he would hologram call you later. Please don't come here. Jongin would flip out."

"Nothing you say would stop me from going." Soojung was already getting up and walking to the door. 

"Babe, don't give her the hospital name." Baekhyun begged. 

"I'll go with her. Just hang tight. And see you in a bit. We'll figure it out." 

Baek's sigh was too loud to miss. "Jungmyeon is going to grill my ass again." He then added, "Please don't go all together, the room can't hold that many people and the ten of you would be too many. I don't think his squad is planning to leave any time soon. EXO members went off to eat so I might not be here when you get here. But call me and I will come back."

"Okay. See you soon." 

"Love you." he said sweetly. It made the rest of the listeners cringe. 

"Me too." Baekhyun made an unsatisfied sound, so Taeyeon had to say, "Labyatoo," to which the rest burst out in laughter. 

Taeyeon ended the call and glared at Sunny. "You-" Sunny ran away. 

"Some things don't change." Jessica shook her head. 

"Do you mean those two crazies or Taeyeon's preference of small effeminate men?" Tiffany asked Jessica. 

"Tiff, he is not effeminate! Heechul is!" 

"Please, Heechul is a master manipulator. He can pretend to be gay just so he can hit on a girl. Thank the heavens he got married to a dragon." Tiffany laughed. The rest of them nodded. Heechul was uncontrollable when it came to his games in dating. They've had so many female friends fall prey to his charms. 

"Are we going together or just me and big sis?" The rest of them contemplated Soojung's question. 

"We can't go together, Baek said there would be too many of us." Taeyeon voiced out. 

"Well, we can go together and then just come in to see him in pairs or something. Soojung is the one who really needs to see him anyway. We could just say hi, see how he's doing and then go out into the hall." Jessica's plan sounded better than crowding him. 

"Good idea." The rest packed into Taeyeon's van and were glad that none of them had to drive. Tae's assistant did that for them so they had time to grill the owner of the van. 

"Soo... Baekyeon is back on the table. Since when was this?" Hyoyeon asked. 

Jonghyun looked at S who was grinning at the conversation. She was feeding off Taeyeon's nervous energy. "Do I really have to be here for this? Can't we just fly to the hospital and watch Jongin and the rest?"

S pointed at Soojung, "She's your mission, remember? You have to be with her to figure out what else you are supposed to do."

"This message of hope thing is harder than the message of love." He wiped his face with both hands. 

"Nothing is every easy. Nothing is ever too complicated either. You just have to listen to the instructions that you are getting."

"That's the thing, there aren't any instructions. You are just letting me wing it."

"We've had this discussion a couple of times already and you still don't get it." S sighed. Jonghyun narrowed his eyes at him. "I am your guide, not your supervisor. You have to learn how to be a proper angel who accepts God's will so you can get the instructions and decode them faster." 

"Decode instructions?" Jonghyun pouted. It sounded more and more complicated. Who knew that being an angel would be more complicated than being a human.

"You betcha. I think angels got the short end of the stick. We serve for all eternity but people can make mistakes multitudes of times and still have a ticket to heaven." It was S's turn to pout. 

"People weren't created to be perfect."

"Wrong. People were created to be perfect. They were made in the likeness of God. And God is perfect. It's the world that's broken." S pointed at the women in the van, "They all started out with pure souls, with forgiveness and love their first ever gifts. But they grew into people who had to live in a miserable and broken world. So their pureness gave way to painful experiences and the only way they could cope was by steeling their heart."

"But they aren't doing that right now."

"Exactly. That's why relationships, friendships and others, are very important for humans. If they have good people who they can relate to as they are, pure and sincere, then they become happier. The world would still hurl things at them and they would still be unhappy at times. But those times would be shorter, those times would be rarer. Because if you have people who can accept and love you for who you really are, then that is the grace of God. You come closer to the perfection that God made you to resemble. God is love. So love is the goal not fame, wealth or comfort."

"Love is the goal." 

"And hope makes them yearn for love. That's why the message of love is easier than the message of hope. Because a person can love even in their most desperate of times. But they can't always hope." 

Jonghyun realized that he still had a lot of things to learn. And that it would take a long time before he could understand his missions. He thought he would move from mission to mission like projects that needed to be finished. But it turns out the missions are not for the people appearing on S's tracking notebook. The missions were for him. God was giving him instructions through them on how to be a force in His name that could bring joy and redemption to people who were lost in this broken world. 

"Thank heavens you are finally getting it. Now are you going to be less abnoxious and difficult?" S raised an eyebrow at him. 

"Abnoxious? Difficult?" He couldn't believe that S was actually saying that about him. "I'm neither of those things."

"You are an angel trying to solve problems the human way. You are trying to manipulate, coax and hurt people so you can get your end goal. But your end goal isn't even clear. Even now, you want to be an angel who can be free to roam and be with people you want to be with. But what are you going to do when all of the people you have ever known in your past life dies? Are you going to stop being an angel by then? Are you just going to huff and puff until God grants you a rebirth?" 

Jonghyun didn't know that he was coming across that way. He was ashamed that he was being selfish eventhough he was no longer a human. "I'm sorry for causing you all this grief."

"Pish-posh. I ate grief for breakfast." S smirked and Jonghyun couldn't help but chuckle. Because she literally does.

"So, does this wish to go to the hospital to be with Jongin have anything to do with the fact that your Shinee brother is there. The tall blonde one?" 

"Taemin."

"Yes, that one." 

Jonghyun nodded. He did want to be around him and just look at him. It's been so long. And he wanted to know how much their maknae has changed. He knew there would still be traces of the old Taemin. He hoped to see all of that. 

"He looked so manly now. It's surprising and delightful. We always worried that he was too pretty for his own good." Jonghyun smiled. "The rest of the group said that a plain woman wouldn't cut it. But all pretty ones were divas. And Taemin had a diva allergy." 

"We'll be in the hospital soon. But focus on Soojung, okay?" Jonghyun nodded at S's instruction. 

 

When Soojung arrived at the hospital, she looked like she was about to pass out from worry. "Hang in there." The women were quiet a sight so the patients who saw them started to mumble and some recognized them. It's been the first time in years since Girl's Generation were seen in public together. And some SONE patients felt like they were healed just by the sight of them. They noticed Krystal with them and wondered if anyone from SM died. The last time these many idols and former idols came to the hospital was when someone killed himself. 

Jonghyun could hear the worried voices of the people they passed. "People still remember that day. And it was a dark day that made people worry about their loved ones. It brought out a lot of change, your album got so many downloads and the songs won in music shows. Everyone wondered what it would have been like if you were able to promote Poet in person." S told him about the things he missed. "You even landed on the Billboard's chart. All around the world, people celebrated your talent." 

"My talent was the only thing that made me stay alive for as long as I did. Life was just too hard for me. I didn't know how to make myself happy. The more successful we got, the unhappier I got. Because I had less and less reasons to be unhappy. But I still was." Jonghyun remembered it, the pain was there but he felt it melt away. The dark energy from him went to S. "You can eat that too?"

"Angels grief are less tasty but I can't let your wings grow dark again. I would fail my mission if I let that happen." Jonghyun finally understood why S was trying to protect him from himself. It was her job to teach him how to do things. And if he turned into a fallen then S would be demoted or something worse. 

"Don't worry. The worst thing I could get would be rebirth as a human with a restless soul." Jonghyun didn't understand it. 

"I think that was what you were." S told him. "A restless when it is punished or if one abandons their mission or task get reborn automatically. There is no transition and they are like chance passengers. Whoever gets conceived unplanned at the moment of their punishment, gets that soul." Jonghyun didn't understand what was so wrong with being born that way. Rebirth was another chance, one that he would want once all of his friends are old and gone. 

"You don't get it. Unwanted children are born with a lack of love and support. They struggle a lot more in the broken world you came from." S looked disappointed that Jonghyun didn't get that the first time. "They live their lives as sensitive and damaged people. They feed on the misfortune and dark feelings around them. But because they are not in angel form, they do not process what they eat and it overwhelms them. They can turn on others and cause more pain or they suffer unfulfilled and empty lives." 

"So if Soojung's baby was a restless?" S nodded. 

"That is why my mission is Soojung, isn't it?" S nodded again. 

"What can I do to help the baby?" Jonghyun didn't want the baby to have a horrible life. 

"Those two need to do something about it." S pointed at Soojung who was now at Jongin's side. "That restless is going to be loved or hated based on what they would do." 

"What can I do?" 

"Pray." 

"And what else?"

"Hope for the best." 

"That's absurd." 

"Do you trust them to do the right thing?" S asked. 

Jonghyun was taken aback with S's question. Trusting people was the hardest thing for him to do. He relied on very few people. Towards the end of his life, he didn't know if he could trust himself anymore. This mission was bringing back fears he had when he was still alive. And it was difficult to focus on hope when the past was coming back. 

"Why do angels still remember their past life?" S looked at him and smirked. 

"Grim reapers don't wear suits and give you forgetfulness tea, you know." Jonghyun blushed because she just read his mind. "Souls are given a chance to forget everything only when they are reborn. The reason why angels do not forget their last life is because they haven't been reborn yet. Souls are wiped of their memories when they take another human form. The only ones who keep some of the memories of their past lives are those who take the form of a human which was made to be more sensitive that others. And that human form is only born from families with those gifts, however remote it is to the current generation. When the Almighty made their ancestors, they had a piece of the universe tucked inside of them. So they can feel the force of life flowing and they developed talents." 

"That's how Hyukjae can talk to me?" S nodded. "Are there other talented people that I knew when I was still alive."

"How would I know?" S grinned at him which made Jonghyun narrow his eyes at her again. "Yes, I know. I'm not helping." S laughed. 

"You are getting worse, do you know that?" 

"It's my hobby. Eternity is a long time to be just nice all the time." 

"Are all restless as weird as you?" Jonghyun was startled when S looked sad all of a sudden. "I don't mean that in a bad way." 

"There aren't that many restless who are doing guide work. Usually they turn and get forcibly removed. We feed on negative emotions and thoughts. Sometimes feeding is painful. The world is full of evil people and they say that we are what we eat. Restless didn't choose this and some of them feel the Almighty gave them the short end. They rebel, they join the light-bringer and end up living the rest of their existence as soldiers for the other side." 

"We have to save Soojung's baby from that fate." 

S looked at him, raising an eyebrow at him. "And what do you propose that we do?" 

"Darn it, I need a Hyukjae right now." 

"I might know someone who is like that." S waved her hand and showed Jonghyun an image of a man in front of a classroom.

"Kibum?" 


	17. The Reunion

"If you don't come back here with the right button order, you can just come back here and clear your work table." Jonghyun stood in front of a purple-haired thirty-seven year old Kim Kibum. He was talking gruffly at the hologram of a woman on his hologram phone. 

"But sir, they said that the order was right. Someone must have made the wrong order on our side."

"I made that order. So how can it be wrong?!" His voice thundered and Jonghyun was taken aback. Gone was the calm and collected Key that he knew. He was enraged and was openly cursing. "I sent you the email too and we checked it. Tell them I need those buttons today or so help me God, you are fired and I am going to sue them."

In Jonghyun's mind it was a bit much, "Why is he so upset over buttons?" 

Kibum ended the call and sat down, wiping his face with his hands in frustration. "Why so glum, chum?" Jonghyun asked him and grinned. "Buttons are buttons. Just use something else." 

Key didn't even bat an eyelash and said, "It's for Shinee's anniversary costumes. Of course, even the buttons are important." 

Jonghyun looked at S, "Can he hear me too?" 

"I can see you too." Key rolled his eyes. "Well, a little bit. I don't have my contact lenses on right now." Jonghyun waved his hands in front of his face. "Stop doing that it's making me dizzy." 

"Kibum, it's me. Hyung." 

Key reached for eyeglases that were on his work table. He wore it and gasped. "Hyung." 

"I need your help." 

"Hyung..." Kibum began to cry which in turn made Jonghyun feel his pain. Dark energy came out of him and were floating towards S. "Hyung, where have you been?" 

"Heaven, pretty much. So buttons huh?" 

Key pressed a button on his hologram phone. "Jin-ki Hyung...hyung is here. Hyung is here." He was all but bawling and Onew's hologram was shirtless and rubbing the sleep off his eyes. 

"Are you off your meds again?" Minho's hologram came out of the phone this time. "Why would Onew hyung be there?" 

"I am at the hospital right now. I can't talk long hyungs." Taemin was whispering. 

"Jonghyun hyung is here. He's standing in front of me." 

"Hyung, you are working too hard on those costumes. You need to sleep." Minho looked sleepy too. "Go get some rest. We still have a month before the concert. You have time." 

"Wait, is he here because of Krystal and Kai?" Taemin was the only one who remembered that Kibum could see things others couldn't. 

Onew perked up. "What happened to them? Did something happen? WHY ARE YOU IN THE HOSPITAL?" He was fully awake now. 

"Hyung please don't scream. I have a hangover." 

"How can you have a hangover when you just woke up?" 

"My day and night time are mixed up because of the shoots, you know that." Minho was shooting a movie and most of it was shot at night. 

"You guys better come here. I don't know how long he would be here."

"Fine. Is your office transporter open?" Onew asked. 

"Yes. It is." Key nodded. The rest of them got off the phone and Jonghyun was curious to ask. 

"What's a transporter?" 

Key pointed at three tube like things that was big enough to fit one person. "They can beam in using those. They've replaced cars for the most part. And airplanes. Individual transporters." 

"Daebak." Jonghyun touched one and grinned. "Man, I should have waited for these. Remember how tiring it was to get driven around in vans and flying everywhere?" 

Key started to cry again. "Is that all you are going to do? Don't you want to talk to me at least?" 

"Can I hug you?" Kibum asked. Jonghyun looked at S who nodded. "I guess you can." 

Kibum tried to hug him but Jonghyun ended up going into Key's body. "What the heck?" 

One by one the transporter lit up and a very tanned Onew, a muscular Minho and a blonde Taemin walked out of them. "Where is he? Where's Jonghyun hyung?" All of them asked Kibum. 

It was Jonghyun's turn to cry. He hugged his brothers. "I'm home. Sorry it took so long." He hugged them tight and they knew, they just knew. Jonghyun floated out of Kibum and saw the four hugging.

S smiled at him. "Hold Key's shoulder. Don't break contact with him so that the others can see you." 

When the four untanggled, Jonghyun took Key's hand with his and the rest gasped. "Hyung!" 


	18. A Decade Melting

Jonghyun felt like the ten years that he was gone just disappeared. He was still holding Key's hand and they were gathered around Key's living room. Apparently, he owned the building his workshop was in and the top floor was his living area. Onew was almost forty and was still a singer-actor. Minho was more muscular since his latest movie was of a soldier. Taemin was crying and being hugged by Minho. 

"So you dorks are all single? All the Super Junior hyungs got hitched. Well, except anchovy hyung. But seriously, I don't have any nephews and nieces yet? Ya!" Jonghyun's fake frustration made Taemin chuckle in the middle of his sobbing. "Stop crying or I am out of here." 

Taemin sat up and wiped his tears away. "How...how long can you stay here?" 

"You can see me as long as I am holding Kibum's hand. Key is the key. " 

Onew looked at him. "Don't they give you a better sense of humor in heaven?" 

"I could get  a better one when I am reborn. But I would have to trade all of my memories to be reborn. So maybe later." 

"Much later please." Minho reached up to him and was sad that he couldn't get a chance to hold Jonghyun's hand. "It's not fair. How come only Kibum hyung gets to hold you." 

"I probably could go inside of you if you want." Minho shook his head and Key laughed. 

"Are you sure you are an angel and not a floating spirit? The girl you are with looks a bit scary." 

"Oh she's a restless. Anyway, don't mind S. We need to work on Kaital's kid. It is going to be born as a restless." 

"What exactly is a restless, hyung?" Jonghyun explained the basics and the others were horrified. 

"But the real problem is that S said I probably was a restless who got punished and was born with the same kind of situation. I kinda made matters worse for the baby, actually." 

"What do you mean?" Taemin was visibly worried now. "What did you do?" 

"The baby was supposed to die today." 

"Shit." Minho apologized for cursing then let Jonghyun continue. 

"I asked for a divine intervention and so now the baby is not only going to be a restless in human form but also a restless touched by death in human form. It would definitely be in a worse state than I was." 

"But what can we do, the baby isn't ours?" Onew was being practical. "It's not like we would ever have any say to how that kid would be raised." 

"I am going to be the baby's uncle so I definitely would have a say." Taemin was determined to help the baby. 

"Have you ever tried to tell Krystal to do anything she didn't want?" The rest of them swallowed when Jonghyun asked that. 

"That's true. We can't do anything but to support them." 

"Shit's about to get down. Kai's suing his company." Taemin said to the rest of them. 

"Is he coming back to SM?" Jonghyun asked. 

"I am not sure. I think he would be penniless after he finishes that legal battle." Minho nodded at what Onew said. 

"He has a medical certificate and the police went to the hospital to get his statement. But we are still waiting for his manager to come clean and be a witness." Taemin's story made the rest of them worry. 

"If your mission is about hope, then how the hell does that tie up to what happened to Kai and their baby?" Jonghyun looked at S who just shrugged her shoulders. 

"That's the test, I need to figure out what I have to do to give hope to Krystal and frankly, I am confused with what I have to do." He sighed. "All I know is that IU is in the Philippines with Suzy and Hyukjae and Kai is in the hospital. And both of them were hurt by the same evil guy in good guy's trappings." 

"That guy should be hogtied and thrown into the middle of the sea with a giant anchor tied to his legs." Minho growled in anger. "It's been ten years since the Me Too movement and shits like him still exist." 

"Me Too movement, whassdat?" Jonghyun was confused. 

"It was a movement that was all about people telling the public about sexual harrassment and assult. It started as this hashtag and then some people were sent to jail for the crimes they did. Some resigned and most of the people became less afraid to come out about being hurt by the people they worked with and their lovers. I never imagined that IU would be a victim. All this time, people were envious of her life. It turns out she was living in a nightmare." Minho explained. 

"I think that this whole things has something to do with the CEO of LOEN. He has to pay for his crimes and that would start another Me Too, a decade later." Onew's face brightened. "Kai needs to speak up about what happened to him. Men could get hurt by others too. It's time to break the stigma about men being too strong in South Korea." 

"I think they would be having a press conference about it tomorrow morning." Taemin's jaw was set. "We have to be ready. From what I heard about this guy he doesn't just bankrupt the people who goes against him. If we are going to back Kai up, he would come after SM too." 

"He can try." Minho cracked his knuckles. "It would be better if we could just get him in a room and let me at him." 

"You are a soldier in the movie, not a mercinary." Onew snorted at him. 

"You dorks haven't changed." Jonghyun chimmed in. "Is this how you have been while I was away, snorting at each other?"

"Onew won awards for his acting. He got a movie that made it to Cannes. I got a chance to make a lot of dramas locally. Taemin is a million-seller now. And Key designs all the stage costumes for SM now. He's the head stylist for the new group too. But we all still make songs as Shinee. We can't give it up. We used some of the unfinished tracks you left behind. We release one of them every year. Fans love your songs even now. Your name is in every Shinee album, don't you know?" 

"That might explain why I got my wings in just a decade." The mystery was solved. Jonghyun was more than grateful. Taemin started playing a Melon playlist. I listen to all those songs everyday, all day. We never forgot you, hyung. You were always with us. Shinee World never forgot you. Your songs live on." 

It was Jonghyun's turn to break down. He had been afraid of being forgotten and being left behind. But that was not even possible with dongsaengs like these. "I'm sorry I left too soon." 

"Just as long as you are reborn as the son of one member, you will be forgiven." 

"That is if anyone is dumb enough to marry you fools." 

"Hyung, how dare you underestimate us? We can date and marry any time. We are just busy with work. We have an anniversary concert coming soon!" Onew sounded offended. 

"Onew hyung keeps getting dumped. Don't believe him. Hologram tech made it worse for him, women see him fidgeting a lot and it turns them off." 

"Ya!Choi Minho! At least I am not playing with women's hearts!" 

Jonghyun narrowed his eyes at Minho. "Hyung, don't believe him. I am caste. I am caste. I don't date since I am too busy."

"Busy flirting you mean." Kibum was not helping. 

"Tae tae, help me." 

"You cheat on me and you ask me to help you? Hmf!" Taemin made his voice more feminine and Jonghyun laughed so hard. 

The other four stopped and looked at him laughing. He stopped and looked at them, "What?"

They were teary-eyed and smiled. "It's bee a long time since we heard you laugh. It's amazing that we can hear it now." Taemin started crying again. 

"Lee Taemin, you are thirty-seven and still a freaking crybaby."

"I got it from you, hyung." Taemin grinned but was wiping his uncontrollable tears. 

"I think I know why you guys are still single." Jonghyun pointed at Taemin, "Crybaby." 

He pointed at Minho, "Casanova." 

Then he pointed at Onew, "Clingy as fuck."

Key asked, "What about me?"

"Fires people over buttons."

"Hyung!" The rest of them felt better because of Key's description. 

"Do you know that Se-Kyung noona never got married?" Jonghyun was stunned with Key's attack. 

"Ya, Kibum!" 

"I-sorry." 

"It's okay."

"Have you visited her?" 

"I can't really visit whoever I want. I have a chance to meet with people relevant to my missions."

"I hope you can have a mission that would include her too." Onew said. 

"I don't know. That might be too hard." Jonghyun accidentally let go of Key's hand. 

"Where did he go?" Minho was flustered. 

Jonghyun held on to Key's hand again. "Sorry. I forgot you can't see me when I let go." 

"I shouldn't have mentioned here, hyung. Sorry." Key apologized. 

Jonghyun smiled at him. "When I get reborn, I want to be her son." 

"Hyung, you have to be our son!" Minho complained. 

"How can I be four men's son? Do they give men uterus at this time?" Jonghyun teased them. 

"I think that would be great. But I don't know how we can see you if you are reborn as her son." Taemin pouted. 

"You guys can have daughters and I could marry one." Jonghyun answered. 

"You? As my son-in-law? No. No. No." Onew shook his head. 

"I would make a great son-in-law!" 

"A crybaby who cries even when he's watching cartoons. Nope." Onew was hit by a floating throw pillow. 

"Not fair!" 

Jonghyun laughed again, this time his brothers laughed with him. 


	19. GAPJIL

"Have you found her yet?" The growling voice of Min Yeong-suk was the only sound that could be heard inside his office. He had Kai and IU's managers on their knees in front of him. They both had their heads down and IU's manager shook his head. Yeong-suk picked up a paded folder and threw it at the manager. Luckily, the flat part hit him in the head and not the corner. 

"Do you want to never work in this country again? I can send you in a North Korean coal mine and you can live out the rest of your lives there." The North and South Korean relations had improved since 2018 when the war officially ended and economic relations improved between the two countries. A decade since, South Koreans and North Koreans can move freely and work in either countries. But South Koreans who are in the dirt poor districts end up in North Korean mines the same way they used to go on ships to fish for months. It was the worst kind of work situation a city-bred person could ever experience. The managers shook their heads and stiffled their sobs. 

"Suzy is not in South Korea, sir. I think she took off with Ji Eun. But JYP officials are saying that she is on vacation with her husband." IU's manager muttered. 

"Where is Lee Min Ho now?"

"He's in the Philippines, sir. He followed her there. Suzy and him met up with Sandara Park." 

"That traitor is giving shelter to other traitors, huh?" He stood up and walked towards the two men. 

"You better get them to admit where the fuck my wife is or so help me, I will make sure you fuckers die in a hole somewhere where no one can find you til you are all but ashes." He kicked them on their sides and ordered his men to drag the two away, "Don't come back here until you have her or I might not let you walk out on your own two feet." 

He sat down and slammed his hand on the table. He opened the hologram tube and saw the live news of Kai's press conference. He tried to change the channel but all the major networks were on the same thing. "Fucking breaking news." Even LOEN's own news channel was not immune to the live feed. They were instructed to down play the event but the PD of the news channel had refused to budge. 

He pressed a green button on his table, "Get me the Network president now!" His secretary hologramed the president and he was greeted by an old executive who was bowing 90 degrees at him. "Fire that PD and all the staff! Can't you handle your own people?" 

"Right away sir." He ended the call and the news feed on LOEN continued on. The anchor pressed on his in-ear and went pale at what he heard. He squared his shoulder and faced the camera head on. 

"We just received notice from our Network president to stop the feed for the live press conference. I have just received notice that I, along with all the current PD and staff of LOEN NEWS would be dismissed due to our insubordination. We have been told prior to this news slot that we should not show the press conference. As newsmen and women who have been delivering the news to you the best and least biased form that we could over the years, we have all decided to continue with what we believe should be given to our viewers, the truth. The amount of gapjil that has been happening in LOEN for the past decade, since the rise of our current CEO Min Yeong-suk has been summarily covered up and we have been used to show only the good things that would bring LOEN and himself into the good graces of the people. And for this, just for today as our last broadcast as a team, we will ask for the forgiveness of the South Korean people, of the Korean people and our global viewers, by bringing you the truth about the man who has caused the fall of LOEN from grace. Kim Jungki is live in SNU hospital at Kim Jong-in's press conference."

Yeong-suk was in shock with what the anchor just said and pressed the button again. "Get me the network president again! Now!" 

"Sir, I was trying to do that but he was not picking up." 

"Get him on the phone or you would be the one fired, not him!" 

Kai's press conference was being played live in the screen. He was wheeled into the middle of the room, a single microphone needed to deliver his message to the people there. Everyone was on their virtual boards, a device that replaced laptops and tablets. All hologram phones could project a hologram of a computer that could be used to type out the news and deliver it as a post on their websites or as e-mails. 5D high definition cameras were pointed at Kai and everyone was waiting for his statement. 

Kai stood up and opened his shirt. It showed all of his bruises and the bandages that he had on. Even the reporters whinced at the rare sight of his black and blue skin. In a time that a medipack can do away with small injuries, the fact that he was in this state means that he broke bones and those would take a few days to heal. Medipacks were not used in situations such as this to prevent bones from healing incorrectly. The amount of pain can be reduced but not completely removed. 

"The injuries that you have seen were all made by the CEO of LOEN entertainment." was the first statement that he said in front of everyone. They all typed wildly on their virtual boards and were horrified by what he said next. 

"We have a video of what happened to me to refute any other excuses from the CEO and LOEN entertainment." A video of Kai talking to Yeong-suk inside his office and getting beat up was played in the screen behind him. Everyone could not believe that a man who was given a presidential medal and an international philantropist award was actually doing the things that they were seeing. They all felt rage at being duped by the man but was feeling guilty at writing all the things about the people he targeted in the past years. 

"We have all been victims of this man. We have all believed in him and trusted him at some point in our lives. We have taken pride in the fact that he is a man who represented Koreans and clean conglomerates all around the globe. I had thought of him as my savior from SM once. Now, I am cutting my ties with LOEN and facing an undetermined future. As my bones heal, so would my broken relationships with my friends and my family heal. I don't ask my fans to forgive me for all my past mistakes. I just pray that they can hope that I would become a better man for Krystal and a good father to our child. They are all that I need in my life. My music would still live on, whatever happens in the future, however long it takes for me to be whole again, I would never give up music." 

A reporter raised her hand and Kai let her speak, "Are you ready to face the most powerful business in South Korea? Yeong-suk isn't just a CEO of LOEN, his family is the owner of so many companies. They could make it so that you never work in South Korea or any Asian country again." 

"I am scared shitless right now. But my family and friends are going to help me fight for the right thing. Gapjil needs to end once and for all." Kai sat as straight as he could, the action causing him to show the pain in his face. 

His lawyer, who was standing behind him spoke up. "We have already filed a case against him and as we speak the police are at his company to come and get him. We were told that he is a flight risk so there is a travel ban on him." 

Kai spoke up again, "I urge all the victims of this man to please come forward. If you need any legal help, the firm taking care of my case promised me that they would help us out." He looked at the camera and spoke to one person in particular, "Hyung, I know you are watching this. I am sorry that for the many years that I was working in LOEN, I was not aware or too weak to know that you have been receiving the abuse in my place. I want to help you so please come and contact me, you know where I am staying now. If you are afraid for your safety, we have security and the police would be protecting us. Don't be afraid. A real man knows when he needs help and it is not shameful to show that we are weak. We can be strong together. I will help you. Please be brave." 

"Who are talking to, Mr. Kim?" 

"I am talking to my manager. He's the one who tipped off the news team of LOEN about putting the camers in the office of the CEO. They are the ones who provided us with this evidence. They had left a camera there after the last news conference for his medal. They have evidence of the abuse that he has done to other people and the illegal meetings he has done in his office. There is even proof of him hurting his wife."

The reporters thought they would not be surprised anymore. But the story of IU and her being abused would be a bigger headline. "I can't show the clips for her because that is her business. She is now out of the country, escaping her husband's abuse through the help of people who care for her. She's still recovering but she would come back and file a case against him when the time comes. The years of abuse and captivity ends for her today too. She would find her freedom from that monster like I would seek my freedom from him and the company that put me in this state."

Siwon walked towards the center of the press conference. He held out his hologram phone and spoke up. "Ji Eun has agreed to join this press conference from an undisclosed location." He hooked up his hologram phone to the projector and called a number named Fish Hyung. A bare faced Ji Eun with a bruised face made the reporters gasp. "My name is Lee Ji Eun. I am a victim of domestic abuse for a few years now. My husband had physically, economically, mentally and emotionally abused me throughout our marriage. Each time I tried to get out of our marriage, he had caused economical and physically pain to those who were close to me or were helping me escape our horrible set-up. I apologize for not being strong enough to speak up sooner. Had I done it and been braver, Jongin and many other victims would never have had to experience the gapjil of this horrible two-faced bastard." She wiped away a rouge tear and continued. "I am facing everyone not as the star IU but the beaten and broken Ji Eun who wants to live. I want to live freely and without the fear for my life and the people I love and who love me." She started to choke up, "Ten years ago the Me Too movement allowed women and men to speak out against the abuses that we experienced. But the suicide of one perp made us reluctant to continue. As other countries continued to empower the people who were marginalized, South Koreans became more afraid to lose their jobs, their face and their status to admitting that they were abused by their bosses, their significant other and the people whose love and trust they should be receiving. I want to tell you, the victim of those abuses, that it is not your fault. It is not my fault. It is not our fault. You and I, we just wanted to survive. That is why we endured it. That is why we could not escape. We were scared. We are scared. I am scared. But in order to live, really live then we have to be brave. Come out and speak about your story. It is not going to be another Me Too. Me too is not enough. NEVER AGAIN is what our stand should be. Never again would be allow someone to hurt us and then tell us it is for our own good. Protecting someone doesn't include confinement, abuse and isolation. Be free. Fight for your right to be a free man or woman. It's 2028. These kind of abuses should no longer be allowed in a free and democratic society. To the men and women who are abusing others, your time is up. Now." 

The reporters took their time to stop typing and all clapped at her statement. Ji Eun is considered the National Sister and the fact that she was speaking out about something that could cause her to fall from grace was immensely brave. Today would be a big day for their news rooms. They all mentally prepared themselves for a month of not being able to go home to their families. A scoop like this would be covered from every angle and their seatmates just became their enemy. The fact that no one expected this to happen means all the information were up for grabs. 

 

Min Yeong-suk was already making his way through the escape route of his building but LOEN cameramen where there and a news beat reporter was waiting for him. They had known the escape route and knew that he would take it as soon as the news of his arrest warrant hit the waves. Plain clothes policemen were there with them and they cuffed him as they spoke to him about his rights. The CEO fought wildly and cursed at the people trying to drag him away. "I am going to get you all fired! Do you not know who I am? I am Min Yeong-suk! I am Min Yeong-suk!" All of this was being broadcasted in LOEN news live along with the press conference that was being tied up. The reporters were all running out of the hospital and into transporters so they could arrive somewhere close to the LOEN HQ. Their counterparts were dispatched there but LOEN NEWS still got the best scoop and they knew they'd have to play a copy of the arrest from them all day. 

The news all but broke the internet because the hashtag #NeverAgainKorea were spreading all around the country in both English and Hangul. An international hashtag #NeverAgain was also trending. People who experienced gross abuses against their bosses and partners were all coming out to join the hashtag. It was unprecidented and videos and confessions came out. LOEN's stock prices were at the lowest they have ever been since the start of the conglomerate. The Chairman of LOEN stepped down and an emergency meeting with their board had stripped their family of the ownership of LOEN. They had sold their stocks to the remaining board members and a new CEO of LOEN was announced by the end of the day. 

[TRENDING]

Lee Seungri takes over as new CEO of LOEN

Former idol turned businessman Lee Seungri gets the new CEO seat at LOEN Entertianment. After taking over YG Entertainment, now Dragon Entertainment, as the new CFO, he has been known to be a share holder in LOEN for eight years. His acumen in business is not unknown to his peers but the former Big Bang maknae has been making his mark in South Korean business for many years. Aside from his position in Dragon Entertainment, he owns and runs food companies and entertainment agencies in and out of South Korea. 

"We have decided that a younger CEO whose knowledge of the business and personal experiences would help LOEN recover from this catastrophic scandal. He is a hard worker and he knows how the people who work in LOEN feels as he was also someone who had to work his way up in his own company." a senior executive of LOEN had spoken up about his regard of Lee Seungri. 

"CEO Lee is someone who knows his limitations and he knows that a lot of work needs to be done for LOEN to clean up its act. But as a brother, I trust in him as I have always trusted him as a Big Bang member." Kwon Jiyong, current CEO of Dragon Entertainment had talked about his belief in the new CEO of LOEN. "If he needs any help, we are willing to back him up." 

Kai and Krystal returns to SM Family

EXO OT12 has been a dream of almost all old-school EXO-Ls. But never in their wildest dreams would they have thought that they would get it in the midst of the largest abuse of power scandal that ever hit South Korea. Chinese members of EXO who have cut ties with SM Entertainment had agreed to sign a reunion album with the remaining members of EXO. Kai, who had moved to the now scandal-ridden LOEN, had agreed to return to SM as his contract with LOEN had ended in light of the abuses that he reported. Seen as an obvious breach of contract, the new CEO of LOEN, Lee Seungri had signed the irrevocable cancelation of Kai's contract with the company. 

"I would like to tell him that LOEN would change under me. But I believe that he needs to be with his brothers and to recover under SM Entertainment's new management. It has been years since they have also made drastic changes with the way they employ managers and their internal practices have also been changed for the better. JYP, Dragon, SM and Cube have worked together to make conditions for trainees and employees better throughout the years. But there are still a lot of changes that need to take place. LOEN is a large force that those changes could not penetrate. I am taking with me what I had learned in YG and Dragon in order to bring the new wave of healthy practices into this company. I wish Jongin the best of luck with his new role as husband and father. He would find that being an idol is a million times easier than being those two things." 

Stocks of SM Entertainment sky-rocketed within the day and the CEO of SJ Label and SM Entertainment stakeholder, Choi Siwon had been in the news speaking about how he confinced Jongin to speak out. He also talked about how hard it was to get Ji Eun to do the broadcast. "They were both very scared not for themselves but for the people around them. Jongin was afraid that LOEN would beat down SME and Ji Eun was afraid of the repeat of what happened to SJ Label ten years ago. But I assured her that Super Junior members and our corporations have made SJ Label stronger than ever and that SME changed not just because we experienced that attack years ago but also to prevent our company form becoming rotten from the inside. And it had all worked out in the end, the profit we made is not just the goal that we keep now. The wellness of our employees have given us the chance to make better products and give better services. Our talent pool is made up of hard-working and world-class talent. Our executives are people who also experienced the hardships of trainees and we have ventured out in new projects that would make our companies both profitable and socially responsible. I personally hope that CEO Lee would be able to bring LOEN back to its former glory when CEO Park Seung Hoon was still around. The time for the Mins covering up their failing has come full circle." Siwon Choi was talking about the aggressive way the Min's had taken over Kakao M and reverting it to its old name LOEN. Park Seung Hoon was the CEO as that time and he was ousted based on shady reports of embezzlement and bribery. The marriage of Ji Eun to Min Yeong-suk had taken the spotlight  away from the ouster and had led people to believe that the Mins had the best interest of LOEN.

LOEN NEWS keeps their team 

CEO Lee had other good news for that day. LOEN NEWS staff and newsmen were going to keep their jobs after all. The expose that they made of the former CEO had been hitting the news all day and had been instrumental in causing the company a lot of damages. But instead of sacking everyone who were part of the investigative report, Lee Seungri had met with the PDs, reporters and anchor who made the report. He had personally thanked them for their hard work and their ethics. To them he asked for a large favor, "I know I am not a good man but I hope that you judge me based on my present actions and not my past." 

Reports circulated after he was appointed CEO that Lee Seungri has a past that might lead him to cause LOEN even more problems. Critics of the new CEO were named by the media as supporters of the Mins and were all under investigation for accepting illicit bribes and favors from the Min family and their companies. "They even came out with news that I used to use drugs. That is ridicolous. With the history of my team, would I still do something that dangerous? I am not a perfect person, but I am capable of learning from the mistakes of others and my own. I ask for all LOEN employees to please bear with the current situation and let's work together to bring our company back to a workplace that we can be proud of." 

The media and the netizens are continuing to bring down the name of LOEN and the abuses their executives have done. The Mins are all on travel ban and assets of the members of Min Yeong-suk's direct family are frozen. Relatives of the Min are scrambling for cover or distancing themselves from the family. Special prosecutors have been chosen for the special commitee that would be investigating the company and their previous practices. Lee Seungri had promised to cooperate as the new CEO and LOEN would be facing many changes in the days to come. Data and evidence had been swiftly and carefully collected from the LOEN HQ and the known property of the Mins. 

LOEN NEWS's anchor had spoken about how they would handle the future reports moving forward. "We are in a unique position of knowing more than what other news agencies know. We can present a clearer picture of the situation than others could. But we would also make sure that the people of South Korea and the world understand that the mistakes and actions of one family doesn't make up all of LOEN employees' opinion and actions. We would do our best to help our company get back on its feet. It could take years but we hope that we can deliver the truth and the changes we would undergo to the people." 

#BOYCOTTLEON 

After the swift changes that happened in the conglomerate took place in less than a week, a new hashtag made its way to the trending list in different social media platforms. #BOYCOTTLEON is a campaign to boycott all of LOEN's artists, concerts, projects, products and stores. Rallyists assembled in front of the LOEN HQ comprise of former employees, labor unions and alleged victims of not only the Min family but of current shareholders and company executives. 

"Purge your ranks! Clean up Loen!" The daily rallies have halted store openings and had caused many of the cafes, restaurants and stores of LOEN and its affiliates to be closed indefinitely. 

A worried CEO Lee took to the media to ask for the rallyist to use the available channels to report and complain about their situation. "I understand the need to make people aware of what had happened. We are taking matters seriously and we would like to help you legally get your day in court. We would like to know what you know and we will take it up with the relevant legal entities. Please help us help you." 

Aggressive rallyist had tried to breach into the LOEN HQ and police had driven them away from the areas close to the building. They have since taken over the park near the HQ and continue to grow in number, "We are not going anywhere until LOEN and the Mins pay for their crimes. The executives who flipped on the Mins think they are safe. But they are in on it too. Lee Seungri needs to evaluate the people who are with him and clear off all the people who would be indicted soon. They should resign and give up their stocks to LOEN because they ware useless for the company and society." a labor union leader had spoken in behalf of the people gathered together. "We are willing to do this so that people would never have to suffer under men and women who abuse their power. We are not doing this just to disrupt their business and cause trouble. We are fighting for those who were silenced by this company for more than a decade. Ji Eun said it. Never Again!" 

Chants and songs related to the Never Again movement continue to be played in the many gatherings that call for both the private and public sectors to do their part in preventing these kinds of abuses. 

"If you are a politician who takes lobbying funds from these kinds of companies, in this day and age, you should pray to your God that you don't get caught. Because not only is your career in politics in South Korea over, but living in this peninsula is not possible for you." The president of South Korea was adamant that people who abuse their power in his ranks would be removed from the party. The Never Again movement has claimed many politicians in a short period of time. Resignations had been abundant and investigations were being started one after the other. "Even a president can serve decades in prison so don't think you are safe if you have done something like this." 

The public has yet to give their forgiveness to the fallen LOEN and the lives of many South Koreans would be shaped by the changes within the giant. One thing is for sure, the Never Again movement is here to stay and it is just getting stronger by the day. 

 

JONGHYUN looked at the notebook that S was holding out for him. He saw that there were not just one picture with mission complete on it. Ninety-nine new photos were there. "Congratulations on your promotion, guardian angel J." 

He was grinning from ear to ear and had to ask. "Whose guardian angel would I be?"

S raised her eyebrow at him, "Who else do you think?" 

He was hoping it was one of the members. S shook her head. "A baby is arriving in three months. For now you would be getting guardian angel training from Aqua."

"You are not going to train me?" He felt attached to her and didn't want to have to deal with a new person. 

S gave him a flip phone. "My name is in there. Call me if Aqua drives you crazy." 

He took the phone and thanked her. "I hope you get reborn soon." 

"Thanks. I hope for that too." 

"Thanks for everything."

"You're welcome. Don't cause any trouble. Aqua is your fan but she won't tolerate insubordination." 

Jonghyun saluted S who evanesenced. 

A bright pearl blue light caught his eye. "Oh my god it's really you, Jonghyun oppa!" Jonghyun was attack hugged by a tall girl with pearl blue wings. 

"I'm Aqua! I am the head guardian angel for Shinee and Shawols! Congrats on your promotion!" 

==== 

GAPJIL - When people from positions of power or high positions abuse their power


	20. Guardian Training

Shine World Guardian Chat Group

Aqua: You guys! You won't believe who just got promoted today!!!

MHguardian: Dear Almighty, did our Blinger Angel make it?

IfonlyONEWknew: Of course, his last mission was massive. Mission of Hope. Wow. That was so hard. I never got one of those!

KeyToLife: Our Bling Bling Oppa had high potential, the Almighty knew he could do it. 

TaeMine: You guys saw them together right? Taemin was so happy he prayed so much and cried so much. My baby was so happy. 

< JBling asks to join the chat group > 

MHguardian: God Almighty, don't add him here! All of our spazzing would be exposed!!!

Aqua: Right. Makes sense. 

< Aqua changes chat group name to Ladies Only SW > 

Aqua: Lemme make a new Guardian CG. 

 

Shine World Guardian Chat Group  

JBling : Hello ladies. 

TaeMine: Oppa welcome! Congrats on your promotion. 

IfonlyONEWknew: CONGRATS!

MHguardian: Welcome! If you want to ask us about anything just ask here. 

KeyToLife: I am so excited! GUARDIANS CROSS!

JBling: Please teach me well. I am sure I would have silly questions. 

Aqua: Don't be worried about that. Angels need to work together. There is a manual, I gave it to you so please read it. 

JBling: ToT I don't like to read things. 

Aqua: First time for everything. If something confuses you, then you can ask us about it. 

JBling: When can I get a smartphone?

Aqua: When you get your first guardian rescue. 

JBling: Guardian rescue?

Aqua: Please read the manual. 

JBling: ToT It's thicker than a law book. 

KeyToLife: It's a must, sorry oppa. 

TaeMine: Call your inner nerd to come out so you can read it. 

IfonlyONEWknew: Read read read~ Knowledge is literally power. You'll get it when you read the book. 

JBling: I better start. Laters ladies~ 

 

 

Ladies Only SW

IfonlyONEWknew: I wanna bet that he won't read it but angels can't bet. 

TaeMine: LMAO

KeyToLife: He'll have to or he won't get his abilities. 

Aqua: I think he would figure it out when he needs them. 

MHguardian: Eym still worried~~~

Aqua: He's a grown...angel. He should figure it out. But I would help him out. 

< Aqua changes her name to ABling >

MHguardian: *eye roll* Really?

KeyToLife: Biased much?

TaeMine: LMAO 

IfonlyONEWknew: About time. ^^

ABling: I put up with your nicknames okay? Give me this. 

IfonlyONEWknew: ^^

 

==

Jonghyun was looking at the thick encylopedia-like book that Aqua gave him to study. He scanned it and saw that the words were tiny and not a single illustration was to be found. Just the first few pages made him groan. "Isn't there like an e-book or audiobook of this?" 

He called S and complained, "Do I really have to read this whole book?" 

"You are lucky you weren't assigned to a scholarly angel trainer. Some people actually make the trainee find the information. Aqua's team put their research together and that book has everything that you need to know, basics that is. The rest you would have to read your way through the rest of the archives of Heaven to know everything. That is if you won't get reborn." 

Jonghyun groaned. "Can I finish reading this in three months? You said that the baby was coming by then." 

"Well, Krystal is five months pregnant so more or less 3 months. Oh and you get tested on the day before the baby is born. If you fail, you can't be the baby's guardian." 

"A test? No one said anything about a test!" Jonghyun hit his forehead with the thick book. 

"Opps. I guess Aqua didn't want to pressure you." 

"Too late S." Jonghyun opened the book. "Did any angel actually turn this down because of all the studying involved?"

"Not really. No free will, remember? They just fail then end up wanting to try again. Thing is, you have to finish 100 missions again so I won't recommend that route." S's matter-of-fact answer made Jonghyun feel worse. 

"Thanks a lot. I should finish reading this then." Jonghyun wanted to cry. He didn't like reading long ass books. He would rather make 10 songs in a row than do this. 

"Good luck, guardian J." 

He sighed deeply and began to read again. He fell asleep after one page. 

 

AQUA found the sleeping Jonghyun and giggled silently. That book was a sure fire way to knock someone out, literally and figuratively. She took out her angelphone and let the bugle sound on her alarm play out. Jonghyun was floating and waking up with a start made him land abruptly. "What page are you on?"

"Page 1.1?" He looked at the book and sighed. 

"Change of plans. Let's go watch some guardians at work. You can ask them stuff if you want to." 

"Really, so I don't have to read this?"

"You still have to. But you can start tomorrow." S was right. Aqua wasn't the type to accept no for an answer. 

"I want you to see what would happen if a guardian doesn't read the manual." 

 

A man wearing a hoodie was walking towards a girl who was in her high school uniform. Jonghyun already knew what he was going to do, so he sped up and caught the man by his hoodie. He was expecting to go into the body but he was actually holding on to the hoodie and the man turned to him. "What are you doing?" 

Aqua giggled and the guy's face darkened. "How many times are you going to use me as an example, Aqua?" 

"Until you stop stalking your ward like a pervert." 

"It makes her alert!" 

"Nope, it makes her pray hard that she can go home safely. Your outfit is super freaky." 

"The girl can see him?" 

"Most of the wards are special like Kibum. They can feel the presence of their guardian angel. But this one does an extra mile. His trainer became a fallen and was not able to complete his "lessons" so he had to make do. He went into a man's body and is now stuck inside." 

"That can happen?"

"Yes, the man passed away the same time he went into the body and so his body held on to the entity that entered it."

"So you have to live like a human?" Jonghyun suddenly thought that it would be a good idea.

"Don't even think about it JBling. It's horrible." the angel said. "Angels call me Herc. Nice to meet you. Now go away." 

"Wait, can I get your number?"

"I lost my angel phone so you can't call me. I use a human phone." Herc waved his phone at him. Jonghyun salivated at the hologram phone. 

"I want one." 

"Angels can't use them. Something about our essense that disrupts it."

"Holograms get screwed up since angels are made of light. Imagine talking to something that sparkles. It would hurt your eyes." Herc explained. "Did she give you the manual yet?"

Jonghyun nodded. "Read it. Don't be a douche like me who gets stuck in a soul trapper." The angel cursed. "I lost her. Damn." 

"Is he allowed to curse?"

Aqua laughed at Jonghyun's bewildered face. 

"He is technically something between an angel, a human and a restless. We haven't figured out how to get him out of that body yet. The soul that used to own that body is floating around somewhere, his family still thinks he's alive but technically he has passed on. It's hard for him to cross because there is no ceremony for him."

"You can't cross if no one does a ceremony? Like no funeral, no heaven?" 

"Kinda. Sometimes the circumstances change and grim reapers take souls for processing. But once they get to the heaven or hell part, they can't pass through if no one knows they are dead and no one lit even a single incense for them. Murder victims have it hard." 

"Darn. That's harsh."

"We are working on upgrades. Sometimes as long as your body is found or someone found you dead, that is enough. Violent crimes and war victims get a free pass. They go through some pretty rough cleansing though so it takes a while for them to go to heaven."

"There is so much to know."

"Ergo the whole archive is meant for angels to learn from. Unless you get reborn soon, you would have to brush up and learn what is there to learn. The book I gave you is just an idiot's guide per se. The more you know, the better it is for your ward. You would make less mistakes in guiding them." 

"I will make mistakes?" 

"You are a guardian angel. You are not God. So yes, you WILL make mistakes. Lesson number one, don't kill your ward. All else is forgivable." 

"What do you mean don't kill my ward?" 

"I happens." Aqua's verification made Jonghyun even more anxious. 

"Do we know when they die?" 

"Nope. Only the Lord knows. But most angels would get a notice since the soul of the person they are guarding would seem loose at times. That is a sign that they are in danger or near death." 

"I don't think I can handle loosing my ward." 

"Well, the only way to get reborn quickly is if you can get your ward to fulfill his or her mission in one lifetime. If not, you get to guard the same soul into their next life." 

"Wait. I thought souls don't get reborn that quickly?"

"Yep. So when our ward is not in human form, you can hang out in the archives. Or help with messenger duties." 

"That would mean that before I am reborn, everyone I know would be gone." 

"Possibly. Or you could all be reborn at the same time. Only the Almighty knows." Jonghyun suddenly felt why some angels feel like they were getting the short end of the deal. 

"There is a way for you to be reborn. But I would need you to read it from the book. I am not telling you."

"Here I was thinking S was a lousy trainer. This is actually harder than being allowed to do whatever I think would work." 

"A messenger has more leeway. A guardian, not so much. It's because if you make a mistake, it would change the course of a life. And if one life changes, the ripple effect would change other people's lives and there has to be adjustments made to everyone's daily lives. The fate of someone however, is harder to change than you think."

"I heard that I was a restless that became a human. And I know Krystal's baby is a restless apart from the touch of death thing. I think it would be helpful for me to meet a restless human's guardian." 

"That's pretty advance stuff. Are you sure you won't want to be become a fallen after you see it?" 

Jonghyun took out his pinkie and swore on it. Aqua then slashed in the air and they walked into a club. Jonghyun quickly spotted a pair of wings that was enclosing someone who appeared to be dancing wildly in the middle of the dance floor. "I am pretty sure Kai won't let his kid go clubbing like that."

"But everyone grows up and moves out eventually. Kai won't help his child by then." 

Jonghyun rubbed his temples. He looked around and saw that some of the people around him didn't have winged guardians. "Where are their guardians?" 

Aqua cleared her throat and spoke up in a whisper. "They don't have any." 

"What?" 

"Some of them lost their angels because the angels became fallen or turned into restless. Angels are not as abundant as you might think. Well, technically, there is one angel for every human who is alive. If an angel defects, the soul of the ward is up for grabs. If they become a fallen, the angel can choose to continue to guard their ward but they usually take human form."

"Hey, Aqua. New guy?" They were seated at the bar and Jonghyun was surprised that the bartender was talking to them. "Can I get you guys anything to drink?" 

"Pinot Noir, please." Aqua answered quickly. 

"Can we drink that stuff?" He asked. 

"Nope. But it's better to put drinks next to us so people won't notice the wings." Aqua and Jonghyun were keeping their wings in but Jonghyun was feeling tired from the effort. 

"You will get used to it. We can't always take them out. Some people who can see us tend to freak out. The light also gives us away to enemies."

"I'll have a club soda. I don't think drinking is for me." He still remembered how much he relied on alchohol when he was still alive. 

"Don't worry. Angels don't get drunk." Aqua gave him some exciting news. "But we can't enjoy the taste much either." He knew there was a trade off. 

"Look who's here!" four other angels walked in. They were also hidding their wings but the men that walked in after them made Jonghyun smile. 

Shinee's presence in the club made everyone take notice. They were big names in music, fashion and entertainment. It was a good year for them too since they were doing an anniversary album and concert tour. Jonghyun felt proud that over a decade later, they were able to grow as individuals and as a group. 

Key looked towards Jonghyun and rubbed his eyes. Hyung? Jonghyun could have sworn that he heard Key's thoughts. Nah, probably just a look-a-like. This place is too dark. Are angels allowed in clubs?

He channeled his thoughts and launched them at Key Yes. The force of his answer knocked Kibum off balance. Aqua laughed when Key's guardian looked at Jonghyun disapprovingly. 

"Stop that!" She looked positively distraught. Key's eyes grew bigger and looked at Jonghyun again. This time Jonghyun winked at him. 

Key smiled and Jonghyun swore he saw his eyes get teary. Trust Kibum to keep it to himself that he can see things. "Do we really need to be in this place? I want to go out and have coffee somewhere." 

"It's safer here. We can get a VIP room and just talk. Cafes can get crowded fast. And God knows SM won't send a rescue team again. I am bored staying at home. Please say that you will stay." Minho took Key's arm and tucked him closer to him, as if protecting him from some imaginary slight. 

Jonghyun remembered that there was a time when Onew was in a bar and there was a big misunderstanding. Minho looked like he was doing something normal but Jonghyun recognized it as security manuver. Kibum didn't look anyone in the eye and just walked in the middle of their foursome and the managers who they came in the bar with. Jonghyun and the other guardians walked through the wall and each one took a seat near their ward. Jonghyun stood and took his fill of this brothers. They have all aged and yet their clothes stayed trendy. It is most likely because of Key's influence. Each style was still different from each other but somehow worked together. It was probably because of the many years they've had to work together to coordinate their outfits that made it second nature to them. No one overpowered the others but all of them were very noticable in a crowd. 

"So have you seen Hyung lately?" Jonghyun shook his head at Key. 

"I can't say I haven't. But why do you guys need to know?" 

Minho sighed, "I just miss him. I wish I could see him and talk to him like you can."

Onew sat back and looked up the ceiling, "Can you at least tell him something for us?" 

"What would you want to say to the dead?" Taemin's jaw was set. "It won't change the fact that he isn't here anymore." He stood up and walked out. 

"Where are you going?"

"Pee," was all Taemin said. 

"What is wrong with him?" 

"He's probably still stressed out over the who KaiTal thing. Then the whole Key can see Hyung and he's an angel threw him off his sleeping pattern again." 

"He isn't sleeping well these days?" Minho asked. 

"We all aren't since we are working on the tour. But the thing with Taemin is that he is a lot more sensitive to changes in the status quo than the rest of us." Onew looked at the door that he was coming out off. 

"Do you think it's still because of that girl?" Key asked.

"What girl?" Minho asked. 

"The one he was supposed to marry but ran away with another guy? I heard she died while on the run." 

"I hate that woman. She got what she deserved." Minho drank straight from a beer bottle. 

"Ya. No one deserves to die before they're able to do anything with their lives." 

"She left Taemin high and dry. I even helped him propose to her. So I have a stake in that almost marriage at least. Gesh." Minho finished the rest of the beer and grabbed another one. "He didn't come out of his apartment for a month. I had to bring so many things for him and he threw food at me once because of that bitch. I hope she is rotting in hell now." Minho's guardian looked at Taemin's guardian who had tears fallin. So angels can cry. Good to know.

"She should have just stayed with Taemin and lived. She would be the wife of a millionaire by now. Instead Taemin gets stressed out when his friends starts gettting married or starts a family."

"No wonder I am still single." Onew threw out a joke so that tense feeling in the room would at least disperse. 

"Hyung, your status has nothing to do with Taemin's trauma. You are just undatable. Hanbin already got married and that kid had a hard time relating to women. You on the other hand, just try way too hard." Onew threw a cherry at Minho. 

"It doesn't help that when you guys are around me, women think I am an oldie." Minho patted Onew in the back. 

"You are not helping."

"How about this? I can set you up on with someone this weekend." Minho winked at Onew who gave him a loud kiss on the check. 

"Hyung!" 

"You are heaven-sent." Jonghyun chuckled at Onew's reaction. 

"He's been trying very hard to date." Onew's guardian smiled. "He's just...overeager. It kind of makes women push him away after they've become overwhelmed by it." 

"He tends to be very affectionate."

"I think naive is actually the correct word for it." Minho's guardian chimmed in. 

"But he has a good heart." 

"I would hate for him to get it broken again."

"How can I help him?" Jonghyun asked. "I mean, if he was my ward. How could I help him?"

"You keep him away from women who are after his money for one thing." Aqua sighed. "That is the easy part."

"What is the hard part?" he asked. 

"It is finding a chance to let him meet his red string." Aqua's answer confused Jonghyun.

"What do you mean by that?" 

"Everyone has one of those." Aqua pointed at Minho's right pinky. And for the first time Jonghyun saw something glowing on it. It wasn't a ring but a string that was tied on his finger. The rest of the string was floating away from Minho. 

"That stuff is real?"

Aqua smiled. "Yep. It does."

"But what happens when the other person on the other side is gone?" He suddenly worried about the person on the other end of his red string.

"They loose their chance for a destined love in this lifetime." 

"What?" He felt like someone dropped a large rock on his foot. "So I made the person I was supposed to be with live a loveless life?"

"Yes and no." Aqua tried to make him relax. "Destined love is something magical and fated. But people can still love and marry even if it is not the person at the other end of their string. And destined love isn't always romantic. It can be a bond between lovers, friends or a child and a parent. Soulmates come in many forms in different lifetimes. People can be reborn in infinite numbers. So unless your soul is stuck in hell, you get to meet your soulmate again in the next lifetime you are both reborn in."

"That is so hard to accomplish." 

"And so that is why love like those inspire songs and stories that last for many lifetimes." Taemin's guardian mussed. 

Jonghyun looked at her and asked, "Why are you not following Taemin? Shouldn't a guardian be at their ward's side at all times?" 

"He needs time to be with his thoughts right now. If I go to him, I would be obliged to make him feel better. Sometimes people need the pain in order to survive this world."

"That is not for you to decide. You are a guardian not God." Jonghyun walked out of the VIP room to look for Taemin. 

He saw their maknae drinking way too fast at the counter. Women were already flocking him and he was ignoring them all. 

He whispered to Taemin's ear, "Go outside and get some air." 

Taemin wobbled but walked out of the bar. He took out his phone and called Onew. "Hyung. I am outside. Need some air. I'm okay. I'll be back in a few minutes." 

People were looking at the handsome Taemin but was not seeing anything that he was feeling. Jonghyun called S. "Can you come over and eat?" 

S appeared next to him and began to get the negative energy from Taemin. "What happened to him?" Jonghyun asked. 

"His girlfriend died." 

"Yeah. But why would he be sad for a woman who cheated on him and then got herself killed while running away from him?" 

"She didn't run away. She was kidnapped and was killed by the kidnapper. SM covered up the truth of what happened. They were able to paint a story just for his image to be saved. Taemin never told his brothers but she was kidnapped by a fan of his. And then was killed while she was trying to escape."

"Shit." 

"Your brother's lives are even worse than dramas. Believe me."

"I never should have left them."

"It was not your place to stop anything like that from happening."

"WHY?" Jonghyun looked up and screamed. 

"Because Earth has become the real hell." S disappeared as soon as she was done eating. Taemin looked at Jonghyun's direction and sighed. 

"I wish I could see Hyung like Kibum hyung. At least I could ask him to find her and ask her if she is alright." 

Taemin's guardian appeared next to him. She was still crying when she hugged Taemin.

"It's you." Jonghyun gasped. 

She smiled at Jonghyun and nodded. "I begged and begged to become his guardian and when I finally got the chance to replace his old guardian who became a fallen he was a mess."

"I think he would have prefered if you hadn't died. He could have you in his life instead of having you as his guardian angel."

"We can't always have what we want. Someday he and I would be reborn. When that lifetime comes, I am not going to let anything come between us." Jonghyun felt tears falling down his own cheeks.

"Angel or not, you are still a crybaby." 

"What's your name?" 

"Oppa, how can you forget me? I'm NaEun."

"Na Eun? Oh my God." 

Jonghyun realized that love can take many forms and one that overcame death was right in front of him. 


	21. TaEun Tragedy

Na Eun and Jonghyun voted to pair up for the day to check up on Taemin. Jonghyun wanted to know more about what happened between the two of them. 

"How did you guys end up dating each other?" Jonghyun heard that some We Got Married pair-ups do end up dating for a bit but from what he remembered, Taemin was too busy with preparations for his solo and Shinee's comeback to have time to date. 

"I went to see you when you went...away." Jonghyun nodded, needing no other information about that. 

"He was a hot mess. No one could stop him from crying and he didn't even want to drink water. I watched over him and forced him to drink. I kept telling him that he can't see you off if he passes out too." 

Jonghyun swallowed tears and let her continue. "After that I checked up on him almost daily, which annoyed him a bit. I wasn't really his type, I guess. He was just really nice during the whole We Got Married thing. But after that we didn't really keep that much in touch." 

"So you asked him out?" 

"Yeah. I did." Na Eun laughed. "It was 2018 by then so I was like screw being demure. He's a bit dense so I had to make him think I am a viable dating option." She pouted though. "He just kept saying he was busy and dating was not a good idea at that time." 

"I bet your agency had fun with that." 

"SM called my agency." Na Eun laughed again. "They were asking if I was dating Taemin since I was always popping in at events in my hoodie and such." Jonghyun smiled. Na Eun was one brave girl. "Scared the crap out of me. So I stopped contacting him for about ten days then he called me asking me if I was sick or dead." 

Jonghyun pressed his nosebridge. "That dork." 

"I know right? So adorable. He demanded to see me to confirm that I was not sick or angry at him." Na Eun giggled, probably remembering something weird that Taemin did. 

Jonghyun made a sweeping gesture. "Can't you do that thing where you show me?" 

Na Eun clapped and said, "Oh yeah. Here you go!" She moved her hand over the air and the wall in Taemin's apartment took a movie projector form. "That was our first official date post WGM." 

 

Na Eun walked into the cafe, with a pink bunny face mask and nerdy glasses, barely hiding her face. People inside the cafe were mostly paired up on dates and not minding the 24-year old who just came in. 

Taemin was sitting in the farthest corner of the cafe under the stairs to minimize visibility. Some of the people around him were already secretely taking photos of him. It's only been a few months since Jonghyun died so most of the fans didn't post the photos of members when they were out in public out of reverence for their mourning period. 

It's been a week since the end of their Japan concerts and Taemin was worried that being out would make people say negatives about him. But it was an emergency. Son Na Eun had been messaging him nonstop since Jonghyun's funeral, until the first of March. She just suddenly stopped sending him messages or leaving voice messages - which he listened to after practice, events or concerts. He rarely replied to her messages often just recording a simple, "I'm okay, good night." at times when he was feeling grateful. But she sent links of inspirational songs, blogs, messages and art work to him via Kakao that it caught the attention of his manager. He must have told someone in SM and SM must have done something about it. He was just worried that SM did something bad to her. 

Na Eun sat in front of him, her hoodie and mask protecting her from the photos. Taemin made an x sign with his fingers and a please gesture to the people taking photos and they stopped. He faced her and talked in a low voice. "What happened to you? Did your phone break down or something?" 

Na Eun took her glasses off and raised an eyebrow at him. She typed something on her phone and showed it to him. 'What are you talking about? SM said to stop bothering you.'

Taemin brushed his hair back with both hands. "I knew it. God." He sighed and then took to his phone. 'Let's go somewhere we can talk. Too many people here.'

"I can't go anywhere else. I told oppa to pick me up here after ten minutes." She took down her mask and said matter-of-factly. "I can't keep communicating with you since my agency said that they would comply with SM's policy of not letting you date outside of the agency. It's not like you like me anyway so it's not big deal. So I would just stay away from you and block you on Kakao so I don't accidentally send you anything." 

Taemin looked alarmed and grabbed her hand when she was about to stand up. "I still have..." he looked at his watch, "seven minutes, right?" 

Na Eun looked at him incrediously and sat back down. She pulled her hand away from his grip and sat with her hand on top of the legs. She didn't want to risk him touching her again. That grab was already making her waver. She gripped her hands together to keep her fingers from trembling. 

"Do you want anything to drink?" Taemin asked awkwardly.

"I can't. I am watching my sugar intake." 

"Oh, right. Of course. That's...imporant." 

"Look - " They both said at the same time. Taemin grinned and gestured for her to go first. 

"No, I've said my piece. You talk." 

Na Eun couldn't have anticipated what he was about to say when she gave him the chance. It was the one thing she didn't expect him to say to her. "I was going out of my mind waiting for your messages."

"What?" She couldn't help but say out loud. She knew her verbal brain fart would land her in more trouble. At least trouble for her heart. 

 

"Oh my goodness. Taemin being macho gives me goosebumps." Jonghyun laughed. They were sitting on either side of Taemin. He was watching a movie on a large screen but Jonghyun and Na Eun was watching the flashback on the wall. Jonghyun grabbed at the popcorn that Taemin was holding and realized that he could take the essense of it and "eat" it. "Awesome!" 

"Thank the cultures that figured it out. Spirits can feed on offerings. Angels can hold the essense too but since we don't need to eat human food essense, it is more of just the motion than consumption." Na Eun explained, grabbing her own popcorn from Taemin's box. 

"Cool to know. But so what happened after?" Jonghyun looked at the paused scene and Na Eun snapped her fingers and the rest played out. 

 

"I am not saying that I was...I mean. I was used to seeing your messages. I thought you just forgot coz you were busy but two days became four then eight then ten. So I thought maybe you lost your phone or something so I called you. It rang so I was confused why you stopped." 

"SM asked me to." 

"What exactly did they say?" 

"I think the message was something like 'Due to recent events that happened to SHINee and their group members, we are hoping that their privacy not be disturbed by further scandals. Taemin is particularly vulnerable at this time so we hope that he could be given space to reflect and not have to be bombarded by excessive solicitations for affection, attention or time.' It was a thinly veiled Stop messaging him, you sasaeng." Na Eun smiled awkwardly. 

"You should have told me so I wouldn't have to wait for your messages."

"How would I know you were waiting for my messages?" 

"You sent them everyday for months. Of course I would expect them." Taemin's ears got redder. 

"What is wrong with your ears?" 

Taemin hid his ears by wearing a cap. "Nothing is wrong with my ears." 

Na Eun smiled at him. "Look. I'm sorry for bugging you. You are clearly getting along better and you are not at all lonely. You have your fans and your brothers. I am sure you don't need my messages to get through this. But I think SM just didn't want a dating scandal on top of what just happened recently. It would look bad for you to start dating so publicly. Not that I think you would even date me...but you know what I mean."

"Why would you think I wouldn't date you?" 

"I think there was a separate message to my manager that SM usually allows in-house dating but not multi-agency dating. So I get it. It's bad for business. I just thought that given that life is short, I should give it a try. I am 24. I should at least have a boyfriend by now. I can't live out my twenties without loving someone for reals." Taemin's face got red this time. 

"What is wrong with your face?" Na Eun was trying not laugh. 

"Why are you confessing so easily?" He said in a pained whisper.

"If there is anything that I learned from what happened to Jonghyun oppa is that caring about what people think adds to our unhappiness as idols. And that love should be the reason we continue on. I liked you even before we got married then you flaked out and cut off communications after the show ended. So I had to do something to make you notice me. Unfortunately, SM noticed me instead. I don't want to get in trouble with my agency so I am gonna go. Ten minutes is up." 

"Don't go." Taemin said in a heart-wrenching tone. 

"It's better this way, oppa. I don't think you are as free to be with someone as I hoped you would be. I don't want to be a secret girlfriend of anyone. So I should go." 

Jonghyun whistled and high-fived Na Eun. "You go, girl!" 

"Yeah. It turns out it was not a good idea." Jonghyun looked at her with a worried look. 

"It started the rebellion of Lee Tae-min." Na Eun sighed. 

"Because of you?" Jonghyun never would have figured. 

"Fans didn't get any hints of him doing it. But he became a bit more social on the group's IG and he would send me messages through other APink members. I blocked him on my KakaoTalk messenger." 

"What did you members say to you?" 

"Just that Taemin asked how I was. They told him I was leaving the group to marry a chaebol. Things like that. They loved teasing him." Na Eun laughed. 

Jonghyun grinned. "So did you ever unblock him?"

"He finally begged one member - to this day I do not know who - to give him my phone number. My kakao blocked the view of my phone number even for contacts so he couldn't really send me an sms." Na Eun smiled and continued on, "He sent me a message every day for about a month and I got a message from his manager if I was dating him. I sent screencaps to his manager showing that I read the messages but never replied. I told them that I didn't want any trouble so they should just tell him to stop messaging me if they didn't want him to message me. My agency almost filed a case against them and Taemin, I stopped them since I told them I wasn't feeling harrassed at all." 

Jonghyun wiped his face. SM can really take the cake at being a dick sometimes. 

"It was my first time to be repremanded for getting messages so I had decided to block him on my phone, barring him from calling me or sending me any kind of message. The rest of the group was asked to do the same so he couldn't ask about me anymore. Then things escalated quickly." 

"What did he do?"

"He sent flowers, gifts and food to the dorm and small notes with it." Jonghyun had a worried look on his face. "He sent it to our manager's dorm so that he would decide whether to give it to me or not. Most of the time he did since the gifts were very girly. He would take a photo of the gift and the food. The notes were given to me in person. Most of the time we ate the food together as a group. The flowers were placed in our dining table and I took photos of everything he sent me. But I couldn't send him a reply or even a thank you."

"That must have been hard." 

"Totally. But I heard that he went to our music show tapping for Miracle and I was over the top. I looked for him and saw him on his way out. I shouted "Thank you for coming!" And he turned around to do this big heart sign. I nearly fainted." 

"What did you do?" 

"Well. I got a new number under my sister's name." Na Eun winked at Jonghyun. "Taemin registered me as Nam Hyung." Jonghyun laughed at her story. "We used Telegram which was harder to track than KakaoTalk. It was nuts. Then my agency caught us and told me to stop messaging him or SM would go full force on us. Taemin asked them to stop interferring and checked that our contracts both didn't have a dating ban on either one and told them that it was illegal for them to manage our lovelives. SHINee members told SM that they would not be up for that kind of micromanaging anymore. They all threatened to leave the agency and that didn't sit well with SM since there were some stuff that was also going on with EXO so they really couldn't let SHINee go." 

"Did you guys get outed?"

 

Na Eun nodded. "About 2020. They caught up with us and there was a new-year post about us. APink fans lost their shit. Shawols were shell-shocked too but they were way nicer than other fandoms that I knew when it came to dating stuff. They congratulated us and asked us to take care of each other. There were still some who were angry or upset that Taemin was dating me and was asking if it was for a reunion thing in WGM, which got reformated by then." 

"But how did you end up here?" Jonghyun didn't want to ask but had to. It was the pink elephant in the room. 

"We were planning to get married. In secret." Na Eun's breathing became a bit shallower. "But my manager found out that I was eloping with Taemin to get registered before anyone could come to stop us. My manager told a newbie manager to drive off to confuse Taemin who was in another car. The manager was a bit rattled and missed a red light. Someone was driving beside us quite aggressively. I thought it was Taemin but later I saw that it was a crazed fan. She hit the car I was in deliberately a few times. We hit the sidewalk and a big pole was in the way. We hit it and the driver instinctively saved his side. I hit the cemented pole full on."

"Oh my God." The projected memory was playing again. There was a car wreckage with two cars in it. Taemin's car and the other manager's car pulled up at the scene and Taemin was on the phone calling for an ambulance. He went to the car and saw that Na Eun was unconscious. He couldn't pull her out since she was pinned against the poll and the car door. He screamed for help and all they could do was try to get the driver out first. 

"I woke up at the hospital." Na Eun's grim smile broke Jonghyun's heart. "Well, I was floating around trying to get people to talk to me. Then I saw Aqua. She guided me to different memorials and through my forty days. Then she told me that I would have a chance to come back as an angel if I could get wings. I got mine about two years later." 

"And you became his guardian, how?" 

"Taemin went off the rails. Partly because of what happened and what SM released in the news. The manager I was with was badly injured. The fan who got us in the accident didn't make it to the hospital as well. She injected something on her arm that caused an allergic reaction. They thought she went into shock because of the accident but the truth was she was in shock because of her allergy." Na Eun was visibly upset seeing it on the screen so she waved it off. "His angel became a fallen after what happened. He didn't understand why love didn't work even for people who didn't do anything bad. He became a fortune teller who matchmakes people." 

Jonghyun was confused by the angel's choice but had to ask about other things so he shelved that question. "Did they really say that you were cheating on him?" 

"Yeah. They did. They didn't want to tell the public that a fan had caused the accident and that the fan committed suicide shortly after. It was a PR disaster for Plan A and SM. So they agreed to keep the investigation under wraps. Taemin went into a hiatus for a year. SHINee members had no choice but to do solos for that year but he came out to make an anniversary song and a tribute song for you. He wasn't allowed to talk about me in any interviews and he didn't do it because he always broke down when he did. He wrote long details poems about how he felt and published it. People didn't know that it was about us and about how I died." 

"Doesn't that mean you have unfinished business?" 

Na Eun shook her head. "I was told that part of my life mission was to touch his life. And so I was able to do that in my lifetime. So I technically had a full life. I was loved and remembered even after dying. So my wings never go bad." Na Eun took out her wings and they were flush and tainted with pink hues. 

Jonghyun took out his and showed her a large span of wings with aqua blue tips. "Wow. That's awesome." 

"Yeah. Shawols are awesome." 

"Pink Pandas too!" Na Eun teased him. 

They heard Taemin sigh, "She would have done a better job acting than this stiff bitch." Taemin cursed at the movie that he was watching and turned it off. 

"My next mission is to find him someone to love in this lifetime. I get reborn earlier if he does." 

"But you find yourself dragging your feet?" 

"More like my wings." Na Eun laughed. "But Taemin is so different from the man that I loved years ago. He's so scared of loosing people that even when his friends are getting married, he can't be happy for them. He pretends to but he ends up browsing suicide pods whenever they do." 

"He wouldn't do that." 

"Nope. He wouldn't. All the members promised to call each other if something like that crosses their mind. And he's been doing that quite a bit whenever his friends send him a wedding e-vite." 

"Dear God." 

"And having this whole Kaital and their baby is really grating on his sanity. He has no time to go to his therapist because of work so he just usually calls in this sessions. But it's not enough. He needs someone to bring the spark back to his soul. He needs to find a reason to live."

Jonghyun knew that was easier said than done. Taemin was in a hell made by circumstances he could not control and the trauma brought on by his tragedy. "I bet my left wing he blames himself for the accident." 

Na Eun touched her nose as if to say 'correct'. "He's not able to process all of the pain and the non-disclosure he signed made things worse. He didn't want his fans to feel bad about what one fan did. And he didn't want my memory to keep staying tainted. He cleared up the cheating scandal and said that it was an accident where my manager and another driver's car collided in the freeway. He hated having to keep the rest of the details. But he figured that if he told other people that we were eloping and trying to get married, it would just be a media fiasco. He kept those details even from my family. He never really recovered from it." 

Jonghyun wondered what they could do to help him out.

"I have tried every thing I could think of. The only woman he talks to are his mom, my mom and my sister. At least about private things. He is a bit more aloof towards fans after that accident. He has to take medicine to relax himself before fan signing events and meetings. For concerts, he doesn't have any major issues. They just perform and not ask fans to come up onstage to keep him from getting an episode." 

Jonghyun couldn't believe that Taemin was living that way. "He never goes out unless he's with his squad and SHINee. And most of the time they just hang out at each other's houses. Going to the club today was a big deal." 

Taemin sat at the solo chair near the window and took the acoustic guitar from the stand and began to play a song. 

Jonghyun recognized the song and began to sing 

 _Going back to the corner where I first saw you_  
_Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move_  
_Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand_  
_Saying, "If you see this girl can you tell her where I am?"_

 _Some try to hand me money, they don't understand_  
_I'm not broke - I'm just a broken-hearted man_  
_I know it makes no sense but what else can I do?_  
_How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?_

 _'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me_  
_And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be_  
_Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet_  
_And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street_

_So I'm not moving, I'm not moving_

_Policeman says, "Son, you can't stay here."_  
_I said, "There's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year._  
_Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows._  
_If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go."_

 _'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me_  
_And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be_  
_Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet_  
_And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street_

 _So I'm not moving, I'm not moving,_  
_I'm not moving, I'm not moving_

 _People talk about the guy who's waiting on a girl, oh, oh_  
_There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world, hmm_

 _And maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved_  
_Maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news_  
_And you'll come running to the corner_  
_'Cause you'll know it's just for you_  
_I'm the man who can't be moved_  
_I'm the man who can't be moved_

 _'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me_  
_And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be_  
_Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet_  
_And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street_

 _'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me_  
_(So I'm not moving)_  
_And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be_  
_(I'm not moving)_  
_Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet_  
_(I'm not moving)_  
_And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street_  
_(I'm not moving)_

 _Going back to the corner where I first saw you_  
_Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move_

 

Jonghyun saw that Taemin was crying silently as he played. He was determined to get his brother out of the darkness that he had stayed in. "It's about time for an actual miracle." 

 

 

====

Note: This work is ongoing. I didn't know (it was my first time to post on AO3. I didn't know that there wasn't an "ongoing" thing here. So this story is incomplete but I can't seem to find a tab to click that would say that it is incomplete. If you could help me figure that out, that would be super duper. 


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